please help me?

Question

I am very happily married and have a 12 year old daughter. Recently i have been jumping down my daughters throat for no apparent reason. Whenever she asks me something or says something i snap. What is wrong with me ? Iove her so much and I am scared this will scar her for life. Sometimes i feel its a power I cant control - god nobody tell me i`m abusing her cause i couldnt live with that . I work with children as a job and i am worried i`m becoming a manic depressive. God help me, I make her feel horrible if we go out somewhere and she wants to get back to see her friends . I snap if she says are you ok mum ? Please help i`m desperate !

Answer 1

breathe before you answer her, be patient with her.... think before you speak and take that love and drive it into whatever u say to her... youre not abusive; you are just stressed in life so maybe you need to change some things at work, take a friday and monday off work so u can have a 4 day weekend and spend some time with her doing all the things she likes to do so that she can know mommy does love her.... dont let your job drive your personal life. Youre a good mom, dont think otherwise...

Answer 2

You've taken the right step in recognizing the problem, now to come up with a solution.

It sounds like you are probably stressed since you have a job that deals with children all the time and you may possibly be going through menopause which starts in your 30s.

You could try taking St John's Wort to see if it helps level your mood swings a bit. I take it whenever I feel a bit depressed and have recommended it for others who have found it helpful. Many times we get depressed without realizing it, just from the everyday pressures of our job and trying to do things at home.

If you don't see a change after 2 or 3 weeks, go to your GYN and talk with them and have some tests run to either rule "in" or rule "out any possibilities. Stop taking the St John's and drink alot of water at least 2 weeks (or more is better) before you go in to see the doctor so your system is clear of it. If they find hormonal imbalances, they can help you with a stronger medication to help level your mood swings each day.

If none of that works, you might want to get some counseling, possibly talk with your minister so you can figure out why you are doing this.

Sit down and talk with your daughter and let her know how sorry you are for the way you have been reacting and let her know you are going to try and find out why you react this way, then explain to her what you are going to do. Taking her into your confidence will help her to help you and she can learn alot from all this, plus it will help you two to bond the way a mother and daughter should :)

Wishing you and your daughter lots of happy years together. God bless

Answer 3

My mom did that when I was 11 going on.
Yes it scarred me for life. I remember everything she said and how she reacted to everything. I tried sitting down to have serious talks with her but she'd never listen, everything I said came through one ear and out the other. She would start yelling at me for no reason when shes tired to. Or even start things with me out of the blue over small things. Sometimes she would turn my words into something horrible. You must be under stress or is in a very impatient stage. Listen to your daughter more and support her. Snapping at her all the time might get her to think you don't care about her. Ask her how shes doing more often. At least you know you're doing it, you can change, my mom thought everything she did and said were always right.

Answer 4

hey, its just a thing people (mostly mothers) go through. like you said, you're happily married, with a 12 year old daughter. many would love to have that. and after they did, they would need a little break. also, you shouldn't even think that what u are doing is abuse. do you cuss and yell at her so loud the neighbors could hear, everytime she does something, with every word a swear word? that would scar someone for life. ur not doing that. im sure u care about each other very much. you'll work it out. she must just want to help u feel better

Answer 5

One of the things I noticed is you said your work is with kids. Have you ever heard the words. "Dont bring your work home!" Because somethimes we dont see ourselfs in a mirror 24 hours a day and our stress level can be harmful at work as well as at home. We need first to find a stress release. Something where you get away from everything this can be as little as an early morning jog to that first morning coffee. The other this is to leave work where it belongs, and home where it belongs. The two should never meet! Do special things with your daughter. Let your husband know of this stress. There are all kinds of stuff on the innernet for stress management. Everyone in my life could tell when I had a bad day at work, my temper went up and I was hard to get along with. It was not until I had a massive heart attack I had to turn inwards and really take a look. It almost killed me and it did take away the only love I had....work. Dont let that happen to you. Take one day for you and one for family.

Answer 6

If I were you, I would discuss this with my doctor first. You may be going through perimenopause. It happens several years before you actually go through menopause. Don't say you are too young, because my grandmother changed life at 28 years old.

If that is not the reason, you may need to seek counselling.

Either way, you will be a better mother for it.

Answer 7

Hi children well when there your own often test boundries? and as they grow up they change also. What else adds lifes stresses add to all of this.
Maybe a break away from it all with your child will restore faith and calm. Make sure its something you both like to do or a place you both like to go.

Don't be so hard on yourself and others around you!

Focus on trying to understand rather than feeling torn.

Be relaxed and calm and remember nothing is worth the stress or stressing about.

I wish you well

Answer 8

I think there's something that's stressing you so you now making her you punching bag, we usually do that to people we love and loves us back because they easy targets. Try to stay calm at all times and if you feel like snapping at her just keep quiet and walk away. get some fresh air by taking a walk.

Answer 9

Stress makes people do alot of things they normally don't do. Relax, take time for yourself and if need be, find another job. Your daughter is only young once.

Answer 10

sounds like you need a vacation from your work. maybe you are bringing to much work home with you. if possible leave work at work. and realize that the children you work with are not your daughter.