What do you do when you have been accused of something you havnt done. How do you convince them and get them to believe you. If you have done it and got caught, well fair enough but when you havnt the lack of trust eats away at your spirit until theres nothing left. i have been accused of cheating when i havnt so much as looked at another man. What do i do
2007-08-19 22:44:05 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ryan k - thats what im thinking too.
2007-08-19 22:59:22 · update #1
Honey - if you feel half as bad as i do at the moment you have my upmost sympathy xx
2007-08-19 23:07:02 · update #2
uss enterprise - how do you speak to them if they are totally blanking you out :(
2007-08-20 00:54:46 · update #3
My boyf has been cheated on and so is instantly defensive and suspictious of anything I do...
I pretty much gave it to him striaght and said Im not anyone else, I am me and I will not be judged on the mistakes of others.
He excepts it now. If he didnt, I would cut my losses..Its so draining to have to 'defend' yourself against something you havent even done!
I'd try to locate the source of his suspicitions... Maybe another girl is after him and poisoning his mind... Love is about trust..If he doesnt trust you, you're giving and he's just taking.. That's not worth the effort, it's destructive.
We all worry about being cheated on at some point in our lives... But loving someone is about opening up to the most intimate trust...Thats why we get heart broken, but thats also how we get some of the best feelings in the world...
2007-08-21 00:21:21 · answer #1 · answered by KB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was also wrongly accused once on something....it hurt because it was not the sort of thing I would do. It still can eat at me if I let it that somehow this other person took a moral high ground and I was all things bad. I e mailed and he deleted without reading...or so he said.....so I e mailed again then thought to pot with this.....I know inside I an innocent so really that is all taht matters. Think maybe it is a sign of a problem within the other person that they do not believe or want to hear truth. I have moved on and lefta him a long way behind and feel better for it. I have to work at not letting it irritate at times like this when replying to your question. But work on it I shall and can.
2007-08-20 05:53:57 · answer #2 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a nasty call.
Depending on the character of the accuser, worst case scenario is that this will not be solved.
Having been in a similar situation - i found myself with two bad responses to my actions.
- when defending myself, and saying that i was innocent , the response was "ooh.. defensive, he must be hiding something"
- when not responding, i got "ooh, he`s not saying anything, he must be guilty"
As some people have pointed out, often an accuser is accusing you of the very thing he/she does him/herself - in order to redirect attention elsewhere - thus meaning that he/she is afraid to be revealed.
The things you could consider:
- determine if you want to remain in this relationship, if the most important basis of it, trust, is not there.
- sit down, and talk with your accuser. Why does he/she think so, and what 'proof' does he/she think there is. (many things are easily refuted/explained)
- Ignore it, and learn to live with it. (it is a choice - but not a logical one, i`ll admit)
If you go for choice B - and the accuser still continues the accusations, you will have to consider option A.
Since i don`t know your specific circumstances, i can only make general recommendations, but do keep in mind that leaving this person is a very real option. Make sure that you are prepared for this.
Best of luck with this - and if you feel that you need someone to write to - you can reach me through here.
In person might prove challenging, as i`m in Europe.
2007-08-20 07:16:24 · answer #3 · answered by U_S_S_Enterprise 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those doing the accusing are usually the one's doing the cheating in the first place. It's easier for them to turn the tables and blame the other person to justify their cheating in the first place.
Tell him to provide you with specific proof he has (pictures, emails, cell bills, people who back him up people who personally witnessed your cheating).
Sounds like he's the one doing the cheating and looking for you to call it quites so he doesn't feel so guilty. I'm a guy and I have see this happen for various reasons. This is not someone you should be fighting to keep a relationship with. If you stay together, he will always be looking over your shoulder and monitoring your every move.
2007-08-20 09:06:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ta for this question.
This is exactly what is getting me down at the moment.
I was wrongfully accused of something i didnt do and its killing me. I have tried to prove my point but at the moment its not working. I am so depressed and feel suicidal
2007-08-20 06:05:05 · answer #5 · answered by Honey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi pretty! Ryan just may have somethig there. Maybe. But sometimes it's just that the other person is simply unsure , or just plain stubborn.If you two talk about things, see where he got such an idea, you can work it out :). I am sure he loves you very much.xx
2007-08-20 07:02:17 · answer #6 · answered by sunshine 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wrongfully accused .......?
What do you do when you have been accused of something you havnt done. How do you convince them and get them to believe you. If you have done it and got caught, well fair enough but when you havnt the lack of trust eats away at your spirit until theres nothing left. i have been accused of cheating when i havnt so much as looked at another man. What do i do
2007-08-20 05:46:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 6⤋
FIRST TO BLAME IS THE FIRST TO SHAME thats what i always say and ive been proven right on many a times INSECURETY SOWS URE IMPURETY hope all goes well anne
2007-08-21 06:47:36 · answer #8 · answered by jdarkhorsej 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you had done your part and no woos can make him believe you..the more you explain your self, the more you will aggravate the situation...eventually, things will sink into your bf's mind in time..
but the most important is you do have clean conscience and no one can take away that :)
2007-08-20 07:01:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just don't want to believe truth, if you are not married, dump him, you can imagine the misery you will have to suffer in the future.
2007-08-20 05:57:19 · answer #10 · answered by joe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋