A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He sits down at the bar to have a drink when
the bartender screams, "Did you see what your Monkey just did?" "No, what?"
asks the man
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table..... WHOLE!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He eats everything in
sight. I'm sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate
and leaves. Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again and has his Monkey
with him. He orders a drink and the Monkey starts running around the bar
again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the Monkey finds a bowl of Maraschino
Cherries on the bar. He grabs one, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and
eats it. Then the Monkey finds a peanut, again sticks it up his butt, pulls
it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted, "Did you see what your Monkey did now?" "No,
what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out and ate
them!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," the guy replied, "He still eats everything
in sight but ever since he had to s??t that cue ball out, he
measures everything first."
2007-08-19 20:54:58 · 16 answers · asked by vlf126 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
lol..have a star :]
2007-08-19 21:12:46 · answer #1 · answered by toastxcore 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah heard it ,but still worth a laugh!!
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
2007-08-19 21:00:46 · answer #2 · answered by gangrekalve k 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you know how much a polar bear weights? Enough to break the ice. Is there a mirror in your pocket? Because i can see myself in your pants. Come sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up ;)
2016-04-01 08:21:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats kinda funny a little bit more on the stupid gross whats the point of this joke side, but funny.
2007-08-19 21:04:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, not bad, and for once in my life I've got to admit I'd not heard that one before ! ! !
2007-08-19 22:01:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
not bad. took a couple seconds to get though. did you make that up?
2007-08-19 20:59:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lmaooooooooo cool joke mr clown . keep it up
2007-08-19 21:02:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha.!!!
Excellent joke Steve.!!!
Funny so 10/10.!!!
2007-08-19 20:59:32 · answer #8 · answered by JAM123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that was a good one
2007-08-19 22:57:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lmao, really laughed really hard, my cubicle neighbors are lookin at me as i type this...
2007-08-19 21:00:28 · answer #10 · answered by 1-2m 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋