My father used to be a drunken, abusive, angry person. and I was too young to remember but my sister wasn't. But my dad went and got help for anger managment, and still drinks but only at like parties and whatnot. And I forgave him and still love him, but my sister still gets upset and wont see him, and wont talk to him. but he has been so good to us ever since he got help about ten years ago. and I don't know what to say to her because we have different opinions about my dad. So please give me some advice.
I'm Thirteen
My sister is sixteen
please only serious answers and don't laugh or make fun please.
2007-08-19 20:00:15 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My father was an alcoholic, too, and was also abusive, at least verbally, and it went on for thirty eight out of thirty nine years of my life. When you've seen the person you are supposed to look up to and admire more than anyone in the world at their very worst, and probably trying to hurt you or make you feel bad, it takes a LONG time to regain the trust that was lost. It's really scary, to be honest. And it's always possible that your sister suffered more abuse from him than she is comfortable telling you.
You are both still young, and there is plenty of time to repair the relationship between your sister and father, but it really needs to come from him. He is going to have to prove to your sister that he is a different person, and work hard to regain her trust.
Good luck, it's hard to be stuck between.
2007-08-19 20:31:47 · answer #1 · answered by Viking Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your sister probably is traumatized by the experience and you must respect her desicion for not forgiving your father..yet...
But what you can do is tell her how much your father has changed and always point out the BIG change that he had become (if there really is that positive change)
All she needs is time and your part would be just to encourage her upon reconciling with your father (it is even your father's job on doing so)
Still, the desicion is up to her and you must respect whatever it will be...
Still go for it!!!
2007-08-20 03:10:13 · answer #2 · answered by Wild Ice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can not really do anything. It is up to your father to repair his relationship with your sister. He needs to have a long talk with her. It will not be easy though. There may be other things that your sister is angry about that she has not shared with you. It is sweet of you to want to help, but therapy and/or a good long talk with your father is the only thing that will do any good.
2007-08-20 03:12:21 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Healing takes time and might be different from each indivudual. I think your sister needs more time to heal. The best thing you can do right now is respect your sister's feelings. Maybe she is not yet ready. Things are viewed differently by people what is OK for you might NOT be ok for her yet... so she is lucky because you care for her. Just let her heal first.
2007-08-20 05:20:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a sweet sister you are.
Unfortunately, your sister's relationship with your father is of her concern and his. There is most likely not anything you in particular can do to repair it.
You CAN ask your sister to attend counseling sessions with you and your father, and you can ask her to please try to see the good that he is trying to do in his life now.
If your sister is not ready to forgive and move on, any pressure that you exert is going to alienate her from you. Let your father and your sister work this out on their own terms ... if they don't, it isn't your fault OR your responsibility.
*hugs*
2007-08-20 03:07:48 · answer #5 · answered by devyl gyrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
? plz answer my question
2007-08-20 03:18:38 · answer #6 · answered by kodak moment 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋