Tonight he wanted sex. and i didnt.. so i told him ok 2 keep him happy. so after i packed his lunch for work tomorrow, i found my pillow on the couch. and put it back in the bed. and he throws it @ me saying rudely that i AM NOT sleeping in the be. he is bascially always angry towards me and rude. today i went out and got me hair cut because he likes short hair. when i got home he says "WOW it makes your face look really fat" me heart sank. and i brushed it off even though it hurt. we have been together 5yrs have a child. and me and my son have NO WHERE to go if i wanted to leave. and YES i have talked to him about the way he acts millions of times, and he still continues to due it. i am sad all the time but walk around with a smile on my face. I dont know where to start someone plz help. and i have no family on my side no parents ect........
2007-08-19 17:54:10 · 17 answers · asked by Amber R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just a wild-*** guess... He gets pissed becasue he isn't getting any, and you don't feel sex because of the way he treats you. It's a vicious cycle. If this is true, sit him down and explain it to him. When he is an a**hole, don't shy away from stating, at that time, that his behavior makes hims less attractive to you. When he begins to treat you the way you want, f&^% his brains out. While he is stillnumb, explain that it was the best he has ever had because he made you feel special.
It is a standard conditioned response. Eventually, you will have both changed your behaviors and you will no longer notice it as a "trade". It will just seem natural.
2007-08-19 18:12:39 · answer #1 · answered by kick in the teeth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I left a man who told me I was fat all the time. I am a pretty girl and gained 20 pounds due to stress. I have 3 children one who is autistic. I didn't leave for a long time because I thought I needed him. He kicked me out of the house one night because I wouldn't sleep with him. I had to call the police to get back in and they kicked him out. I was doing everything my self and he just complained. Men don't get it. If he can't be nice and considerate and show compassion dump him . I feel like my self again . I thought I died. My advice to you is to find a job or go to school . Do something nice for youself. Make a plan if you plan on leaving. You have to live with him not your parents.Men say bad thing to make them selves feel better. Love is kind and cares about each others feelings. Try being really nice to him and see if it makes a difference. If it doesn't you'll know where you stand.
2007-08-19 18:24:59 · answer #2 · answered by jo jo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not going to be happy unless you leave or he changes and you said you have tried to talk to him and you have no where to go. So there isn't to much to tell you. You are asking for advice but at the same time you are shooting down the advice that you know you are going to get before you ever receive it. So, I do not think you are really ready to do anything about it so any advice is worthless. You already know what you need to do. It is not going to be easy but it can be done. I was in a physically abusive relationship and I let him hit me one to many times. I left after the third incident and had him putin jail. I had a son to think about so as far as I was concerned I had no choice but to leave. There is no magical or easy answer. You know what you need to do it is just a matter of how much more you are going to take before you begin to take some action.
2007-08-19 18:42:44 · answer #3 · answered by Miranda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being unhappy for so long will take a toll on you. I know. I was in a similar situation. I finally gained the strength, after 6 years, to stand up for myself and ask him to leave because I had no where to go either. He pays child support and I got a 2nd job. It's wasn't/isn't easy, but I am a much happier person. Trust me, your son can/will sense the tension between you two. Counseling may be another option if the two of you are willing. Good luck and God bless!
2007-08-19 18:10:33 · answer #4 · answered by Nae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a verbal abusive relationship, and need to seek guidance. It may seem scary to even think about moving on but you have to do what is best for you and your child, take your life back, take it by force, and start making plans on how to do that, get you a journal and start writing it down and give herself a time frame, and remember he(your man) is not your life, who were you five years ago before him, no one should be-able to dictate to you on how you look nor feel, a mother is always stronger than that, and you can find a way, come out of your loneliness and depression and refocus and get a grip of yourself and your life.
2007-08-19 18:05:29 · answer #5 · answered by peaches1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He in all hazard is on the ingredient he desires as much as now you and different females, yet considering the fact which you rejected him asking you out, and in basic terms kissed him as quickly as a 365 days in the past realizes it won't take place with you. It sounds such as you in basic terms choose to be friends with him and not something. If that's what you choose, tell him and spot how he feels approximately that. i could wager he basically does not choose to be friends with a girl he needs extra from, that it basically makes him choose extra whilst he's around you, understanding you will turn him down for a date. It makes him sense like somebody he likes will not at all choose him that way. There are no longer many adult adult males that choose to be superb or perhaps sturdy friends and not something.
2016-10-02 22:10:00 · answer #6 · answered by pantano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he hit you? Even if he isn't physical, the emotional and verbal abuse is just as urgent and even more traumatizing... even to you child. There are domestic violence shelters you can go to and even a hotline you can call 1(800)799-7233.
You don't need to be abused, especially, not your child. Click on my name and then click email Tanya S. You can email me anytime if you need to talk (if you want to). It's not good to go through this kind of stuff alone. Call that number though. That's not good for you nor you child. How do I know? I've been through, and somewhat to say I still am.
2007-08-19 18:08:48 · answer #7 · answered by Tanya S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some counseling. I think you need to talk to your local domestic abuse hotline. I'm not sure this is fixable. It sounds like emotional abuse, and it might become physical abuse if he's throwing pillows today it will be something else tomorrow. You need to figure out a plan so you can support yourself because you might have to leave. Also, is there a minister you can talk to? That might help, too.
2007-08-19 17:59:50 · answer #8 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i agree that it certainly sounds like an emotional abuse case
and emotional abuse almost always (like 95% or better) turns into physical abuse
if you have no family
(and i know thats hard im in a very very similar situation)
you need to look into like a safe home
a home for battered women
or talk to you local family services or human services whatever they call it where you are and find out what your options are
you might be able to get into some housing or something
good luck hun
and pray pray pray pray
thats the number #1 thing you need to do
2007-08-19 18:09:22 · answer #9 · answered by jes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to have a plan, and that is to get a job, and save you money so you can move out, you have no family and no were to go, Do you have friends, maybe you can live with one of them until you get on your feet, But all of the verbal abuse will soon get next to you, and it is not health to live in an abuse home for you or your son.
2007-08-19 18:04:40 · answer #10 · answered by I am women 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋