My boyfriend and I love each other a lot. Not too long ago, I was going through a time where I doubted my love for him. I tried to convince myself that I loved him, and we were meant to be, but I couldn't do it anymore. I voiced my opinions to him about how I was feeling, and said that maybe we should take a break. He started to get really upset and cry. I couldn't stand to watch him do it, because I cared for him so much. It turns out all I really needed to do was talk about it with him, but I still feel awful that I hurt him. I wouldn't want to hear from him that he is unsure if he still loves me. I feel rotten and awful for what I did. I have apologized and tried to make it up to him, but I feel like I can't. Any suggestions for this?
2007-08-19 17:49:54 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I thought I felt the same way..and I felt so terrible. I didn't want to hug him, or kiss him, or be with him, but all I knew was I loved him, no matter what..so I talked to him about why I was acting so weird, and then right after that, everything was better. All you have to do is talk to him, and if you truly love each other, everything should be past you, and this shouldn't bother either of you. Just enjoy each other, love each other, and be happy. and remember to ALWAYS tell each other EVERYTHING. no matter what, if he loves you, he'll understand and try to help you out with it. I hope this helps..and good luck.
2007-08-20 15:30:34 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exactly a year ago, I went through this same thing. I was really in love with this guy then all of a sudden I didn't feel that special spark anymore. I told him about it and it hurt him alot, but he doesn't take things to heart very much. I think you did the right thing by telling him even though it hurt him. It would probably hurt him more if acted weird around him and he didn't know why.
The only thing I can say is hang in there and stay with him. It took me 2-3 months before I got that spark back and I love him more than anything in the whole world.
2007-08-20 01:08:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, congratulations for being honest about the way you feel, most people don't do that. Second, you need to give him a choice. Either get over it or break up. When people choose to stay together after one has hurt the other that's all you can do. Get over it or break up. You can't spend your relationship apologizing to him for something you can't take back. You meant what you said at the time and now your at a different place. don't be sorry. It's how you felt. You don't need it to be an issue anymore, he needs to find a way to resolve it in himself.
2007-08-20 00:59:34 · answer #3 · answered by Phoebe Finch 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think long a hard about how you feel! And once you've said it,you'll have no regrets.You can never be sorry,for telling the truth.But when he knows how he feels,and you've got "hot,the cold" love.What you could do that's worse ,is staying with him now out of pity,because he was so upset.That's adding "insult to injury". If you really aren't in love with him,what will you do in a few months.When you decide again ,you don't love him? Not,tell him and have an affair with someone else.You need to know what you're really feeling for him.And then go truthfully from there.Good Luck!
2007-08-20 01:03:38 · answer #4 · answered by need2know 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it time ...
Voicing your opinion and feelings is very healthy ...
and it is a good thing that you are able to talk to your boyfriend about it ...
All relationships have their ups and downs ..
and there will be times when you will have doubt ...
the key to a successful relationship is will you be able to survive the low points together?
This is how you will grow stronger together
Anyway, first you doubted your boyfriend about his love for you ...
and now you have some self-doubt and guilt ...
know that .... if he truly loves you ... he will still stick by you ...
and you guys will be OK ...
Sometimes you need to rattle the cage a little for a reality check and to get some attention!
2007-08-20 01:16:06 · answer #5 · answered by LibraGirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ick,
The L word cant be taken back. Once you toss love into the mix all bets are off. Telling someone you love them is a promise, and there are tons of ways you can break that promise without telling them you don't love them anymore.
I don't know about the whole him crying thing, thats kinda strange, but I suppose it's acceptable in this day and age for an adult male to cry. It wasn't acceptable in my day (Christ, I'm only 34...lol)
Try sitting down with him and telling him you screwed up. He will appreciate the honesty and hopefully you two can move on from this. Don't be surprised if he is reserved though. I think if a woman told me she was unsure if she loved me anymore I would put quite a bit of emotional distance between the two of us for awhile... She would have to re-earn my trust.
2007-08-20 01:00:12 · answer #6 · answered by nremtohio 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take one day at a time. Let go of the past and heal. Our hearts are complicated just as love is. Remember love is an action word, you love by doing and giving, take things slowly with him read up on relationship books and forgive yourself it already happened dont live in the past, but the present
2007-08-20 01:03:01 · answer #7 · answered by Jay223 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi..
You know what Hon..You did what you felt was right at the time..
No one feels good after a breakup of any relationship..It's not easy breaking up with someone you cared about..
But now it's time for closure..You did what you had to do..you tried making up to him..That's it!
You have to get on with your life now..
Do not contact him, or apologize to him any more..
In life we all do things, that are not always easy to do...
Who knows, eventually things might change..You might run into each other..you might become good friends or maybe more..
Everything in life happens for a reason..
So now it's time to move on.. get together with some friends and have some fun and laughs..Laughter is a powerful medicine..It's good for mind and soul..So make up your mind, what you're going to get on with your life..And do it..Take care..
2007-08-20 01:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by howdoilvthee 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know you feel bad, but don't let it consume you. You did what you thought was right at the time, being honest and making suggestions true to your perspective and your position. Theres nothing much more you could do, im sure he can see that your sorry, but i think what hurts him most is that the guy was probably just shocked or rocked by your responses because he probably thought ur relationship was solid. Nevermind, theres nothing much more to do...
2007-08-20 01:00:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love him then you don't love him. He will get over it, you can't trick yourself back into loving him because it will all just come back. I had one like that drag out 3 years. Just tell your heart to shut up, stay away from him for a month, and see how you feel. At least you did confront him, you could have played games, cheated, or done stuff to try and make him break up with you. Hope you figure it out.
2007-08-20 00:57:20 · answer #10 · answered by saraphine 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋