How do I tell my boyfriend that I want to wait till I get married before having sex?

Question

We haven't been together for that long....about 3 weeks or so. And he is my first boyfriend, ever. We've already kissed and made out, but that's about it. At least he didn't try unbuttoning my shirt, and his hands didn't wander into 'inappropriate' places, but I just want to be prepared just in case it came to that point where he wants to make love.
I am 21 years old and raised in a tight-knit Catholic family. I am also the eldest and only girl in the family. I made a promise to my mom and myself that I will not have sex until after I get married to the man I love. I just need sound advice as to how I can tell him. Should I just mention it out of the blue right away, or during a romantic evening, or what? I am lost.
Thank you in advance for you advice. And please, I don't want to hear anything about "test driving a car before buying it".

Answer 1

First and foremost, the right man will understand. Don't bring it up when you're making out and about to "cross the line." Sometime when you're sitting around talking..in the living room, in the park, over dinner, with your clothes on, bring it up. It's not going to be comfortable, no matter how you bring it up. My husband waited until marriage, and he brought it up one afternoon when I was talking about a teenager I knew.. he was about 14 at the time and already fathered 4 kids. We got on the topic of morals, and I guess I was trying to find out where he stood on the issue. Your boyfriend might already know in his heart, because I know I did and we were about 3-4 weeks into the relationship at the time. But good for you for waiting!

Answer 2

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Dl94N

Answer 3

at the end of the day, its you're choice and if he loves you he will accept that. however, I really hope you're thinking about the other factors here, how sexually charged is he?and does he drink? ive had friends who no matter how much they love someone, their urges become so strong (because at the end of the day, people get urges that they cant control. especially if you're good looking and he finds you attractive, this will increase his urges) that they end up sleeping with someone else whilst drunk. its in no way to do with the fact they're feelings for that love one have changed, its purely their own body pushing them into sex to relieve themselves of these urges with women they didn't even care about. I'm not saying your boyfriend will do this, i just hope you are aware that this can happen. also another problem I have encountered is people getting married as a shortcut to making love to their partner when actually they didn't really feel comfortable with marriage yet. this then creating a rocky marriage and sometimes a painful divorce. at the end of the day he should respect your decision completely. but can I ask, why did u decide you wanted to wait until marriage? I don't think you've made the wrong decision one bit, its perfectly sensible and a lot of people make that choice, but it can go wrong if you've made that choice for the wrong reasons this probably wasn't the useful answer you were looking for, but hopefully its given you something to think about and possibly point yourself to the right answer. in short, it is fair you tell him this, as long as you're aware of not only how he may feel about it, but why. and as a male, the brain works on different levels so as long as you know he understands your feelings correctly and doesn't get any wrong impressions or ideas, and the same vice versa with his feelings and ideas about the situation, then you both cant go wrong with your decision.

Answer 4

I don't think you have to wait till a romantic evening to tell him about your feelings about waiting until marriage to have sex. You just have to tell him. There will be a right time and place. I am sure just like you discuss with him the resturants or things you like to do, this is a much more important issue to you and needs to be addressed. Probably sooner than you think before things get too hot and heavy and he thinks you are a tease. So let him know where you stand he can either respect you for it or you will know what kind of man he is. Good luck.

Answer 5

Well you didn't want to hear anything about "test driving a car before buying it" but you do have to "try on a shoe before you buy it" lol, just kidding! Well I come from a Christian family, and I was told and promised to save myself for marriage. All you have to do is tell him, when you guys are talking about anything, it doesn't matter. Or just tell him that you really need to get that clear first and let him know that you want to save yourself and that your virginity is the most precious gift you can give your husband and let him know how strongly you believe in this. Good luck! :)

Answer 6

I think that you should just tell him. Preferably when the two of you are having a nice casual time and there is no pressure. Maybe during a daytime lunch or a casual dinner or movie. Bring up your religious background and let that be your starter. You could also ask him what his views on premarital sex are. I do want to caution you that depending on his own religious views and moral values, he may say that he is ok with this but may try to wear you down. Because of this I do caution you about "making out" becuase it is a gateway to more intimate situations.
Stick to your guns and let your head guide you.

Answer 7

i think it's too soon to be having the sex talk, i mean it's only 3 weeks, so no.
but when his hands do wonder off, it means he wants to take things further, not necessarily sex, then it'll progress to other places, n that's when u have the talk w him, maybe it won't go there cuz u won't have feelings for him n u'll dump him, but if u do grow feelings for him, let him know about ur situation, cuz some guys make a big deal of it, n if he's a jerk about it, then be glad u found out, n dump the loser
i respect ur decision, i lost mine to the guy i loved when i was 20, not married, but 3 years later we still love each other every single day, and then some.
so good luck!

Answer 8

It can be done, hang in there, my lovely beautiful popular daughter was married in 04 at the age of 25 as a virgin and so was her hubby same age. It is the devotion to God. I think maybe you could talk a lot about your involvement at church and how you pray and things very religious and if he is not on the right track it will drive him away. I know you think he is special, but you are special and worth waiting for. It really does work. hang in there and I'll be praying for you, but it has to come right up front or you will be tempted too !!!

Answer 9

that's easier than you think.

first, don't lead him down a path where he thinks he's going to have sex when he gets to the end.

The topic will come up after you've been dating for a while and the easiest thing to do is not to beat around the bush. Say the same thing to him you said in y our question. I promised my Mom, and myself, I wouldn't have sex until I got married to the man I love. (and if you are in a serious relationship with this man you could add, and I hope that man is you).

Women decide when they're going to "give it up", not the man. Men whine, threaten, plead, cry, promise, lie, to GET it, but women are the only ones in a position to give it away, married or not.

good luck.

Answer 10

I think you should tell him for sure but not just out of the blue. Maybe like you said on a romantic evening if things start to heat up tell him how you feel and how strong you are about it. I am also 21 and i am saving myself for marriage it just feels right and more special.