I consider my ex to be acting out of negligence concerning our son in many ways & he refuses to listen to my concerns so I'm at a loss at what I can do to get him to listen before it is too late. Our son is 6 but tonight my ex put him in the front seat of his truck (even though there is a back seat). I asked our son to move to the back my ex told him not to. My son has also came home on many occasions without being in a booster seat (for over a year now) and my son told me the other day my ex let him ride WITHOUT a seatbelt at all a few weeks ago because his back was sunburnt and it hurt. My son's grandmother (my ex's mother) also told me my ex told our son NOT to wear a helmet on his bike (plus it is the law). I really feel like my ex is putting our son's safety in jeopardy for no reason or just to spite me and its stupid. I'm not a person to sue but I certainly will sue the pants off him if our son ends up hurt but then it might be too late.
I need suggestions to get my ex to stop!
2007-08-19 16:56:55 · 6 answers · asked by jenny s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
do you have full custody? does he pay support.. maybe you need to have the courts do a fact finding.. if he is putting your son in danger, then you need to act.. do you think your ex-mum-in-law would write a statement.. anyone else you know..
by letting your husband continue this behavior you are also putting your son's healthy at risk.. step up and get it straightened out!
2007-08-19 17:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by jeselynn_81 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow. Do I ever know where you are coming from? And you know the sad thing, you'll probably be told *everythings okay, your son is being looked after by his father and thats all that needs to be done*
My ex does the SAME thing. We have 11 year old twins - our son is physically disabled and cannot walk without the AFO that he wears as his right leg is FOUR inches shorter than his left (its a foot brace that supports his ankle/foot) When they go to their dads, his STEPmother makes him take his brace OFF because they have white carpet and she swears that the bottom of the brace (which is made out of very hard plastic) leaves marks on the carpet. So the entire weekend that they are there, my son has to hop on one foot or freakin' crawl, since he can't walk without his brace.
My ex flat out REFUSES to buy medicine for the kids, such as Tylenol or cough/cold medicine when they're sick - he says ***I*** should provide it and send it with them when they go. Even if they're not sick when they go, I'm supposed to keep him well supplied with everything they need while they are there. He won't even give them an effin' bandaid if they need one - unless I supply them. Its crazy. If they should become sick while they are there, he immediately calls me, no matter what time of the day/night it is to tell me hes bringing them home......
Our daughter has always ridden in the front seat of his car, from the age of four. He said the only way he would put her in a booster is if, again, ***I*** provided them for both kids. I had to buy their car seats after we got divorced because he wouldn't do it.
I think you're going to have to make the courts aware of what hes doing as he most definitely IS putting your son at risk and no judge will take that lightly.
How sad, that a PARENT has to be TOLD, ordered, on how to do the RESPONSIBLE thing....it makes me sick and I really hope that, for your sons sake, you get this resolved.....Best of luck!
2007-08-19 17:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by L ♥ L ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this is a will of the boy's parents as to where both consider they are 'right'. You both need to stop arguing with each other and look at what is happening for your son here.
1/ You tell him to sit in the back, father says 'no' stay in front.
2/ Son is not wearing seatbelt due to sunburn, wrong decision? Of course, crying child is not handled very well by a Dad who is trying to be a 'good' Dad.
3/ Son not having to wear helmet when riding bike, wrong? Yes again however, Dad is still trying to be 'good' Dad.
I have a feeling that there is some undermining of your son's father and your son here. I can hear the argument between father and son of put helmet on and no don't want to going back and forth and then the statement of 'okay, you don't have to wear your helmet but if you get hurt .......'. This is not unusual for parents to go through when they are together. Eg Mum comes home child is not wearing helmet asks Dad Why? I got sick of their whingeing about having to wear it "when no one else does".
My advice is that instead of making demands of your son's father especially in front of your son you ask if it would be possible to meet with a counsellor/facilitator and work out the rules for both of you.
I can not help but think your son's father is in a no win situation with your son as each time you 'show' the father up either by actions, words or both you are actually empowering your son to not listen to his Dad. And, Dad does not know how to deal with it as he wants his son to like him.
There are two constants in your child's life that can not be altered, you as his mother and his father. You really do need to let go of your anger towards your ex and work towards an amicable parenting arrangement for the well being of your son now and in the future.
Courts dealing with family Law matters usually have Court appointed Couselling for people in your situation to attend prior to anything going before the Court.
Be rest assured I recognise the matters of safety here it is the way in which the needs of safety are being delivered between the three of you that is causing the problem. Bit concerned over mum-in-law and her motives for letting you know re helmet. Is she also putting pressure on Dad that assists him to feel inadequate.
Complicated dynamics here and someone has to step back and look at the big picture for the sake of this little boy.
2007-08-19 17:33:39 · answer #3 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Part of me wants to think that he does this just to tick you off. Part of me thinks that so many of us grew up with out bike helmets, or seat belts. The other part thinks the child should be getting the booster seat, seat belt and helmet. It is a toss up, the little guy is lucky to be with his father. Just make sure that he knows you will be proud of him if he rides in the booster seat with his dad, and that you will reward him with - favorite ice cream, etc....something he really likes when he comes home and has done this. Might help.
2007-08-19 17:29:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't control what your ex does, but he is surely putting your son into harm's way.
The only thing i can think of is to contact your attorney. Perhaps he can write a letter to the husband explaining the law about seat belts? and other laws he might be breaking. and have him copy the Judge.
it's worth a shot.
2007-08-19 18:11:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
try threatning him and if that do nt work then you can always se what the law can do as for sueing him if your son gets hurtjust dont get sue happy and sue him if your son bonks his head
2007-08-19 17:13:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋