why do sick people try to hide there illness from others and why do well people shun them?

Question

I find there are a lot of sick people that tend to shy away from people because they are sick like a missing leg or they expect people to feel sorry for them and do everything for them what do you guys think of some one always talking about how sick they are and nothing ealse

Answer 1

I'll ignore your opinionated rant and focus first on the double question. Missing a limb is not the same thing as being ill. Poor example.

You apparently don't know much about human nature or societal mores. If someone who is ill appears to be hiding his illness, it may be because of cultural or personal beliefs. Illness is sometimes looked upon as weakness or as a private matter. They may feel that illness makes them different and unacceptable. Did you think the first 5,000 AIDS patients in this country were unconditonally embraced by the rest of us??? Hel-looo!

If an amputee or a seriously ill person seems to you to expect special treatment try to put yourself in his place. Someone who was once able to do anything has had to cope with a huge loss, a complete change of lifestyle, enormous pain. It doesn't seem fair. Why him? Why not someone else? Of course he'd be angry. He'd go through the stages of grief like anyone else after a loss. It doesn't matter if the loss is a body part, one's health or the freedom to come and go as one pleases.

So-called well people can be embarrassed and uncomfortable around illness and physical loss. It's a reminder of one's vulnerability and mortality and a result of upbringing and cultural attitude.

Young people who become quadraplegics have lost control over every aspect of their lives. Some can't even breathe without the help of a ventilator. If they seem demanding and manipulating, they are and it's because they need to have control over SOMETHING in their lives! For proud, independent people illness is a betrayal of their bodies. Now they're dependent on others. Not such a good place to be for them.

As for those who expect others to feel sorry for them, they haven't been able to reach the final stage of the grieving process -- acceptance.

And finally, you ask if they think people are always talking about sick they are. I doubt it. But there are many people who aren't looking for pity or morbid curiosity and want to be thought of as more than just their illness, more than just their missing limb.

You have a heartless, ignorant attitude and perhaps one day, you'll learn about life from the other side. Then you can get the answers firsthand.

Answer 2

Sometimes all "sick" people have to talk about is their sickness. Sometimes it consumes their whole lives and that's all they know. As a person that is "sick" I find your comment rather rude. You wait until something bad happens to you and see what you have to worry about and talk about. Sometimes for months at a time all my life revolves around is being sick, and how it is taken care of. It's hard when all you do is go to the doctors and then back home to sleep some more to find anything else to talk about, that's where all your focus is, getting well. And when some people feel crappy, all they can think about is how crappy they feel and how they wish they could feel better so they can at LEAST enjoy a Red Sox game. I think you should spend some quality time with some cancer patients or someone with AIDS, and see how easy it is for them to "always be talking about how sick they are and nothing else."
I can't speak for other "sick" people, but I tend not to talk about my sickness unless needed (and to lend insight on questions such as this). If I don't have to talk about it, I won't. It's not that I am ashamed or anything, I just don't see the point unless needed.

Bigeyes: not everyone is as strong as your mother, not everyone can afford a prosthesis, not everyone has the same medical issues as your mother. Diabetes is fairly manageable, how about having a disorder in which your body tries to kill you. How about having Cancer? I hope some day you gain some insight on what it means to really be sick, and see how badly you feel for yourself. See how often you say why me (as I am sure your mother has said at one time or another). You have no right to talk about "sick" people like that until you have experienced something like it. So get off your high horse, and start respecting other people.

Answer 3

Seems to me that you have partially answered your own question. Sick people don't want others to think of them as a disease and sometimes when the disease has a particular stigma... all kinds of assumptions get made.
On the other hand, it is very difficult to go through a serious illness without going through all of the stages, you know, shock, denial, acceptance.... many people need to talk it through because they have not yet dealt with it and they want help to validate that they are still worthy and loved, or in some cases because they really are sick enough that they need the help. Well people also sometimes shun the sick because they feel guilty for not helping, for not being available and sometimes for still being healthy.. in odd cases, they are afraid of "catching " something!
Alas... woe is me... some people are just not good at being sick... so there are lots of reasons... NOt sure if this helps or not.

Answer 4

Sick people try to hide their illnesses for a variety of reasons. Some might feel ashamed that they are sick or they might feel that they waste everyones time so why bother. And well people just don't know how to help the sick most of the time and it is just easier to stay away from them then to try to figure out what they can do to help out.

Answer 5

Some people do want pity, but you have to remember that when you have an illness, it becomes the majority of your life. You can be absolutely consumed with and by it, so to one who has such a disease or illness, they know nothing else to talk about.. you aren't exactly capable of small talk when you're constantly thinking about your terminal illness.

You answered your own question too: many people with an illness try to hide it because they know or fear that others will shun them and treat them differently because of their illness... which is sadly true in our society.

We need to learn to look at someone with an illness as a person who happens to have an illness, just as we could at any time, and not an ill person. The illness should never define the person, but sometimes, when obsessed with or consumed by an illness, a person not only lets but makes the illness define him/her. If this is the case, you have to allow that person to define him/herself by the illness for it is all he/she can relate to at this time.

It all depends on the person, but it is the well person's responsibility - in a way- to try to understand what that person is going through, and accept him/her for what and who he/she is.

Answer 6

They hide their illness or disablities from others for the very reason you said.....people will shun them. You said it yourself...you are judging them and saying they are staying away because they want people to feel sorry for them....they don't want to be around people who don't treat them as individuals....who would want to be treated like an outcast.....surely not you. The #1 fear of man is rejection. Maybe you should ask yourself why it is that you shun them and why it is that they bother you. Not everyone who is sick or disabled is able to deal with it, with a cheerful disposition....it's hard to go through, so it some people have a hard time dealing with it....so be it.

Answer 7

Most sick people don't want sympathy, pity, or to be shunned. They want a normal life. Some sick people need a therapist to work thru their issues about being sick, and to help them go get a life. That's what I think about those who can talk of nothing other than their illness.

Hope you aren't prejudiced about disease or mental health issues. If you are, you are missing out on some good friends, and living a rather narrow life. Expand, grow, it's good for ya.

Good health to you.

Answer 8

Jeff, the answer is because the sick people are afraid to telling their love ones the truth. Yes, they try to hide it and in the end, it not only costs them more money for the cure, it also hurts their loved ones in return. The answer to why people shun them is because of insecurity, they think that the illness won't happen to me if I stay my distance from them. However, God is always there for them. We all need to follow God's teachings and "love one another as He loves us." Unconditionally. This world would be a whole lot better today.

Answer 9

Your question doesn't really match your details.

I think sick people talk about how sick they are because it's horrible to be sick all the time. When you have a headache, how often to you say "my head hurts"?

Answer 10

they always talk about ther esickness because that is all they do is be sick go to docters and struggle to get better and they dont have much else to talk about at this point and i know most ppl dont want you to feel srry for them at all and i know most sick ppl try and do everytihng they can for themsleves but some are diff and take advatage of there sickness