Family member meddling in parenting decisions spanking what to do?

Question

My 4 year old son used a toy to break a window, I was getting the whole family 's lunch. I dropped lunch and as I was running towards him (I heard the window break) he tried to stick his hand through the window, I was yelling "NO NO that will cut you and hurt you" and I got to him right before he would have cut his wrists trying to get into the window. He was trying to save a spider. Yes, I yelled and I swatted him on the butt 1 time through his clothing. My mother-in-law is saying to everyone who will listen that I screamed at my son & beat him; which is not true. I swatted him on the butt and he lost bike riding and other priveledges for the next three days.

How would you handle the nosey mother-in-law?

Answer 1

I know how frustrating negative inout from inlaws can be. I am originally from Ireand but I moved to San Diego when I married my husband so my family are not around as often as his.
It is so degrading to have your parenting questioned or criticised especially when you know that you did what was best for your child and you did NOTHING wrong but believe me the best thing to do is to let it go for now arguing with her will do no good as she is clearly set on her ways. If you over hear her say that you beat your son and yelled at him to a third party correct her and say exactly what you told us and explain that you are hurt that she honestly believes you woulf do that to your own son-she will know you are right even if she doesn't back down-deep down she knows she is stirrring it up.
Unless your reputation is at stake-holding your tongue is the best thing you can do.
Be confident in the fact that you are a good mother and you did what any other good mother would do under the circumstances.

Answer 2

You need to let her and anyone else that she is telling her story to that you are the mother of this child not her,
And would she have rather you just calmly walk up to him at that point or yell No, No and run up and grab him.
I agree with you he was in danger and you were only trying to stop him from getting cut up in the broken glass, and I agree with the swat on the bottom and the taking his bike privileges away, everyone else either have already raised their kids or are now raising their kids they need to just take care of their own.

Answer 3

I think you handled the situation the right way. I hope you also had a calm talk with him about the consequences of his actions. I hope his father did to. Your mother-in-law let your husband handle that one. I've learned family blood is inclined to listen to there own first.

Answer 4

well you can just ignore what she is saying and if anyone asks you can explain what happened including that you were scared for his safety and just wanted to get through to him your emotions and you made the wrong choice on how to get through to him and you are sorry for that but he scared you really bad and you were worried about him getting cut.

My mom use to slap my hand everytime i grabbed something i shouldn't that might have hurt me and some found that wrong but it was my mothers way of trying to show my that it hurts to touch it without me feeling just how bad the pain would be.

I do not spank or hit anymore but find other ways but even i have found that when my boys are about to get hurt I start to slap their hand or tap them to get their attention, i have to fight that urge. I don't scream at them unless they are in danger and then it is just to get their attention and only screaming their names followed by usually "be careful that will hurt you".

Answer 5

hahaha, the mother-in-law delimma is all around the corner. and yes, most of them, if not all are over acting when it comes to kids, to the extent that they could say or utter insensetive word. Well, you can talk to your m-i-l in private that you don't like the words she uttered, that it hurts you and that you feel bad. If she won't accept it, fine! as long as you made it clear to her that what she did was not good for you.

Answer 6

You need to have your husband tell his mom to butt out.
Ask your husband to have his mom define beating. There is a difference between spanking and beating.
I never spank in front of other people.
People are wierd these days, your MIL might call child protective services on you.

Answer 7

Where was your husband at this time? Anything you do, will have problems, that's the way M-I-L's are...sorry to say. If she reacted the way she did she will take it badly, and that will cause you more difficulties down the line, since she overreacts and exaggerates.

Your best bet is to have your husband talk to her.

Answer 8

Sounds like she needs time AWAY from your family. I'd call her behavior VERY DESTRUCTIVE. What you did was perfectly fine, not to mention with in the law (beating isn't).

He is your child, and you raise him as YOU see fit. She had her chance to be a parent, now she needs to BACK OFF.

Answer 9

You yelled at him. You swatted him. You took away his bike AND other privileges for Three days. For one misbehavior.

That really is a bit much. I think.

If spanking is a good punishment, Why the others? If you feel he deserves the others, why a spanking too?

By the way, did you take him aside and talk to him calmly about what he did, why he must not do it,and explain what alternatives he might be able to use?

That is how discipline comes into it.


Get a grip. Mom!

Answer 10

Actually, I suggest you take a parenting course. There are better ways to react than what you did. Spanking tells a child that he is in control and you are not. It also teaches him that it's okay to hit. A parenting course will teach you better ways to react. Of course you were scared at the time, and your son could have been hurt badly, but your reaction won't teach him the lessons you want him to learn.