As a Catholic...?

Question

I'm a recently became Catholic, after a particularly strenuous part of my life. In fact one of the major people that drew me to Catholicism was a certain individual; however, do to her leaving the country for a prolonged period of time we've begun to drift apart. I tried to speak to her online whenever I got a chance and she was up, and things seemed to be going relatively well until she came back to the states. Now it is like pulling teeth to even get 5 words out of her.

So my question is this, can I just cut the cord and wash my hands of our friendship. While I know that there used to be good times; those were a long time ago. This is one of my few Catholic friends, and I know that I will probably have to see her whenever I go to mass...so my question is what should I do?

Michelle: I've tried talking to her about what is going on, but for whatever reason she keeps stonewalling me. If nothing is really going on, then that just means that she is like this for no real reason, and how would that be any better?

Arnon: Maybe you're right, perhaps I should just let the whole thing go, and she'll just have to fin me if she changes her mind.

David: site is spelled with an e

GDB: If she is going through something, then it would seem that she also doesn't want to talk to me about it. So if things have changed and she refuses to tell me what the new game rules are, how am I supposed to play?

I don't know...anyone know any good bible verses for something like this? Friendship lost or some such?

Answer 1

It doesn't have much to do with being a Catholic. It is an issue of what kind of friend you want to be.

Do you want to talk to her about what is going on? Can you accept her answer? Can you be kind and respectful to her when you see her even if your friendship changes into something distant and kind of awkward?

Sounds like it is time to accept that the friendship has changed. It is sad, but it happens. You will make more friends. Take some bible study classes, or join a prayer group. You'll meet a whole lot of people at church!!

Good luck!

Answer 2

Trying to revive what you once had might take a lot of effort and ultimately prove impossible. On the other hand, perhaps she's going through something tough right now and could use your support . Be honest with her. Talk to her about the way you feel you're no longer close. See if she wants to try to change that. Ask her out for coffee and to talk. Stick with it for a bit, and if she does not respond, then let it slide; none of us stays the same forever. Don't cut her off, though. That is unloving and a poor way to end a friendship. Leave the door open.

---

Quotes from the Bible:

Job 19:14, "My kinsmen have gone away; my friends have forgotten me."
Job 32:3, "He was also angry with the three friends, because they had found no way to refute Job, and yet had condemned him."
Job 42:10, "After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before."

Ps 55:13-15,
"If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me,
I could hide from him.
But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,
with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
as we walked with the throng at the house of God. "

Prov 17:9, "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends."

Prov 17:17, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

Prov 18:24, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Prov 27:10, "Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother's house when disaster strikes you—better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away."

Eccl 4:10, "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"

Answer 3

One of the facts of life is that, as time passes, our friends change. Few of us keep the same friends from childhood to elder years.

It's hard to maintain a longtime friendship, especially when separated by great distances. But there is always opportunity to make new friends.

If you are able to see your friend on a regular basis, such as weekly Mass, there's no reason to believe you two can't keep in touch, even if only on a weekly basis.

Be receptive to your friend, whenever you see her, even if it is clear close-friendship is not a thing of the past. That's the best thing to do.

Answer 4

Be cordial and polite. Don't push it. You didn't say how long you have been apart. You have memories, that's good but you and she also have seperate memories. Neither of you are exactly the same as you were before you parted. Regard her as an old friend and leave the door open to renew it. If she is like most women, ignore her completely. That will really frost her and she will try to talk to you.

Answer 5

Welcome to the Catholic Church, you will find more richness in your life like most Catholic converts (www.catholic.com it biggest Catholic converts sit). It best sit for answers. If you love her give her room and understand things have change. Keep your self busy by doing exercises going Catholic Bible studies or register to RCIA. The key stay busy. Most of all never for get that God love better then any one else.

Answer 6

You shouldn't worry about her anymore. Just forget about her. I know that it'll be really, really hard. But, just try to deal with it. You'll move on after a couple of years, probably. Like 3 years? Don't worry.

Answer 7

Give it time. I'd also suggest broadening your horizons and getting to know others, making new friends.

By the way, I'm a convert too, so WELCOME HOME!

Answer 8

It is the bonds we forge in this life that we will remember in eternity.