In a sticky situation with wedding reception plans?

Question

Ok. Here's the thing. A long time ago, I decided on this pretty outdoor location for my wedding and to have the reception thereafter. So, at the time, no one thought it was a big deal until the last minute.The wedding is set for Sept. 22nd. My soon to be father in law is preparing the food (he really wanted to anyways and so I figured why not). Now the inlaws are telling me basically we cant have the food where I originally wanted it b/c so-called not enough room which is hog wash, not enough hook-ups (which I did not realize until now and is true) and they don't feel up to bringing the food out there but yet it's all in the same town. Someone mentioned having the reception some place else and announcing it at the wedding. Well, my soon to be father in law was decided on finger foods which was cool but now they are going all out on full course meals. What should I do about this and should I change reception plans?

Answer 1

Girl--stand up to the inlaws NOW, or let them run your life til they die.

Answer 2

Ahh, we had the same issue. Initially we were not inviting children except for those traveling out of town and our immediate family (it was a holiday weekend and spring break for most kids so we couldn't expect people to just leave kids at home). However we had a lot of in-towners bring theirs anyway, even if just the adults were listed on the invitations. It's very frustrating, but to be honest, there is not a lot you can do without offending your future SIL and possibly your fiance's side of the family. I would say it won't be a big deal, but since they are the photographers, I imagine it will difficult for them to keep an eye on such young children while taking pictures. But since this is your fiance's sister AND they are coming from out of town AND they are doing your pictures (and I would hope at a discount since you are family), you can't really tell them they can't bring their kids. Also, I would doubt any mother would leave their 4 month in the care of someone else while the parents left town, especially if the baby is still breastfeeding. Also, telling her she can't photograph your wedding because she's bring her children is not a good idea either. You don't want to create more drama than necessary. I would have your fiance speak with his sister, not about not bringing their kids, but about who will be caring for them while the photographs are being taken. I would also have him mention that it will be a long night and he is worried that they may not be able to make it through the whole reception. This is your fiance's family and something that he needs to speak with her about. While I've seen parents do strange things, I would like to believe that they would not keep a 3 y/o and 4 month old up until 11 or later, so it's possible they've already made arrangements with another family member to care for their kids when it's bed time. Lastly I would say, pick your battles. If, after your husband has spoken with them, it is clear that they have arrangements for their kids then I'd leave the subject alone. I do feel your pain though, it's not a fun situation to be in however I do think because she is his sister, you should make the exception. Its also possible that she has assumed that because she is family and immediate family at that, she was okay to bring her children. As much as you'd like to tell her off like everyone is telling you to, remember that a wedding is supposed to be a classy event and you as the bride need to have some tact. Unfortunately when sensitive issues like this arise, you can't just say well 'F*ck it, I'll tell her what I want". Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. If anyone whose children were not invited have issue, you can simply explain that it is your fiance's sister's kids and they could not find a sitter. However, no one should question it because it is not their business really. I PROMISE you, in the end, it will not matter especially if the children are cared for while their parents are photographing. You will be so happy to be married and having such a good time, you won't even notice they are there. Heck, apparently someone's ill behaved children were throwing rocks at each other at our reception and the caterer got onto them several times --- I had no clue that was going on until weeks after the wedding when my mother told me.

Answer 3

Ok so I don't think that you should change the catering plans because that would not put you off to a good start with your in-laws. This is the most important day of your life, but don't get to stressed about it. One thing you could do is try to find another venue but you may be running short on time. Another idea is to have it at the original venue and just explain to your in-laws that you simply can't change it on such short notice. It's your day and you and your fiance should plan where you want to do the reception. Good Luck I hope I helped a little!!

Answer 4

If getting the food from point A to point B is a problem, you can hire people to do that. You can also hire people to help with the cooking and setting up, etc. Why not talk to the venue, find out if this is possible, and then ask or, better yet, TELL your father-in-law that that is what you will be doing so that he will be able to make the food and still have it where you want it to be.

Answer 5

Your father in law-to-be shouldn't have offered to make the food if they are now saying they "don't feel up to bringing the food out there."

And NOW they want to go from finger foods to a full course meal, even tho there aren't enough "hook ups" ??

I agree with the gal who noted the chafing dishes, which are standard at any buffet anyway.

You should get a caterer ASAP. It appears that allowing the in-laws to "help" is going to cause a disaster.

You know the difference between in-laws and out-laws?

Out-laws are wanted.

;P

Answer 6

If you want to keep the reception site, keep it-do what will make you happy at the end of the day and don't stress too much about it-the marriage is more important than the wedding details...but if you do change the reception site, no one will care...just have directions printed out to the new place that your guests can pick up.

Answer 7

Whoa! This is your wedding, put your foot down! Tell them politely that this is the way it is and it is pretty crappy to back out of doing something at the last minute. Don't change anything for anyone unless YOU really want to. If anything tell them forget it and higher a caterer to make things easier on yourself. Remember this is about you and your future spouse if people don't like what is going on that is their porblem. I had a similar problem, my future mother in law wanted me to cut back on decorations and stuff so she could invite her co workers (which she couldn't afford). I told her no, she got mad but tough. This is your day, do what ya gotta do for you!

Answer 8

YOu should do exactly what it is that you want to do, as so far all I have heard you say is what this family member is doing or what that family member is doing.

It is your day and you need to decide what it is you want and where you want it and tell the others this is how it is going to be. Dancing around your relatives will end up with you having a shitty wedding day and holding it against them forever.

Answer 9

i say go with the flow that is the disadvantage that you get when you have family or friends do the food vs a company and a indoor wedding reception might be more pratical vs dealing with bugs and potential rain

Answer 10

Ummmm I dont get it. What would you possibile NEED to plug in??? Havent you ever heard of chafing dishs??? Incase you dont know what I'm talking about look here

http://www.samsclub.com/shopping/navigate.do?catg=3027

Ok now that we got that problem fixed... on to the others. No need to change the menu, or the location. THE END!!! LOL

Answer 11

I'm confused, are they able to do the food where you want them too? or did you choose a different location?

I say have them work it out and let you know what they decided, and if there is no food you will tell everyone whose at fault. You can make that point by putting a special thank you to them in your program, so if it falls apart everyone will no who to blame.