I work with my maid of honor. She wanted to invite people from work, and I'm not planning on inviting everyone. I just thought it would be rude to invite them when they're not coming to the wedding. But she doesn't see anything wrong with it. Am I right or wrong? It's not like I don't like these people or anything, I just have to keep our guest list down so we're inviting the people we're closest to to save on expenses.
2007-08-19 13:27:18 · 16 answers · asked by BlackDahlia 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would only inivte people who are coming to the wedding but that's just] me
Since you are talking about the bachelorette and not an engagment party or rehersal dinner you get a bit of leeway I suppose if you really want them there.
Whatever your choice put your foot down and don't let the maid of honor do anything you are uncomfortable with.
2007-08-19 13:32:58 · answer #1 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry but some of these answers are VERY wrong. For one thing , YOU are NOT the hostess and this is not the wedding. You are arranging the wedding and that is a whole different ball of wax. A bachelorette party is not a rehearsal party and it's not the little party YOU and your mom should be having for just you two and the groom's mom and the maids of honor,bridesmaids and flower girls. (That's when you actually are supposed to give the girls their thank you gifts, by the way!) A "Bachelorette party" is just a "blowing off steam night" that has become customary for people who might work with the bride or go to same clubs, etc. and it is hosted by a galpal. You don't foot the bill. The hostess has no expense other than the invites. Everyone pays their own way and chips in to buy drinks for the bride-to-be. Any female who remotely knows the engaged girl and who wants to wish her the best can come along as it is usually in a public club or hotel. Everyone nowadays knows that wedding dinners cost a fortune and that the list has to be kept reasonable. And not ervyone can afford a new dress and a gift to attend a wedding. Coworkers can go to a bachelorette party, have a blast, chip in for some champagne for you, and still feel that they were part of your send-off!! They save a bundle, you get to know that you are Miss Popularity for the night, and everyone feels part of the wonderful event. A nice touch would be for you be sure loads of cute group photos are taken that night (before everyone gets too sloshed!!) and post the best ones up on staff coffee room with a big THANKS FOR THE SENDOFF from you! Whatever you do, don't have the bachelorette party at YOUR home or your parents' home and then the whole premise is "neutral" and all will be fine! Some people get overworked about having to invite everyone. Not true. I have been invited to participate in many bachelorettes where I have gone, had a great time and, quite frankly, was relieved that I didn't have to drag my husband to a wedding and buy an expensive gift when the person was simply a nice coworker that I wished well.
2007-08-19 20:53:12 · answer #2 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Typically i would think it's a bit rude to invite someone to a pre-wedding event and then not invite that person to the wedding. However, i do see an exception to that rule: If your MOH tells your co-workers from the beginning that the wedding is going to be very small (mostly family), and if your co-workers still want to do something for you anyway, then it's fine for those people to take you out to celebrate. It's would be rude to invite people to a bachelorette party and let them think they would be invited to the wedding, but if your MOH is forthcoming from the beginning, i see no problem.
Another idea: if your friend really wants to organize an event with other co-workers, she could invite them out for a happy hour with you and not call it a bachelorette party. I recently attended a happy hour for a co-worker's engagement, and thought it was nice.
2007-08-20 00:03:02 · answer #3 · answered by SE 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I guess it depends on how well you know these people shes planning on inviting and remember not to sound stuck up but whos party and wedding is this? I think what you say goes. I personally would not invite anyone to the bachlorette party that I wasn't inviting to the wedding I think its rude...make a list of who you want to come to both wedding and party and make her stick with it like I said its your wedding not hers..
2007-08-19 20:38:27 · answer #4 · answered by *CiTsJuStMe* 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The people not invited to the wedding should realize that you have certain people invited to the wedding for your reasons only and should respect that. I wouldn't think it rude at all.
2007-08-20 10:16:03 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, that's just rude. Same with the shower.
However, it's okay to have a shower done by your coworkers, even if they aren't all invited to the wedding - because they will know that by then.
2007-08-20 10:43:13 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Definitely rude to invite them to the bachelorette party and not the wedding. Keep it simple - the bridal party and a few close friends who aren't part of the bridal party.
2007-08-20 14:33:26 · answer #7 · answered by JM 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's not ok - unless you explain the situation to them. but I agree that it is rude to invite them to come celebrate your last days as a single woman but not celebrate you day as a married woman. The maid of honor will get over it b/c it's not her wedding, it's yours, your the boss.
2007-08-19 21:42:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't invite them to the party if they aren't invited to the wedding.
2007-08-19 20:47:50 · answer #9 · answered by az 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
"I just thought it would be rude to invite them when they're not coming to the wedding."
You're right.
2007-08-19 20:32:09 · answer #10 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋