Friends death?

Question

What is the best way to get over a n ex boyfriends suicide
my ex killed himself 5 days ago now. we broke up when we were both in yr 7 and we stayed best friends ever since we broke up it was a thing we both agreed on. but now i blame myself for his death because i started going out with my current boyfriend close to 2 years ago my ex liked him alot and they both got on really well My ex messaged me 11 days ago telling me that he still liked me and that he wanted me back but i had to say no because i am still with my current bf it is my fault that he killed himself. He was the best friend i ever had how do i get over his death.
I was really close with him he told me everything i also know that he was having huge family problems and he lost his job
I new he had depression i went with him to the doctors and the hospital everytime he tried to harm himself i was there when he had counsilling and stiches and everything

he tried talking to me after he messaged me telling me that he wanted me back but i was out to dinner and it was to late to call him back but i emailed him because he lived on the net and i didn’t get a response so i tried calling and it went to voicemail and then a day later i got the call so i should have done something to prevent it from happing i should have spoke to him while i was out to dinner and maybe he would still be here now
I spoke to his mum yesterday and she said that he left a letter reveling that he was so ashamed of being single and that he was a failure

He left a letter to me his mum read it out and it said " when your reading this i will be up above im so sorry for hurting you and for anything bad that has happened in the past i had to do what i have done because its the only way to stop the pain i will always love you now and forever please take care of yourself and dont let this happen to you please you are a caring and sweet person and i will always remember you i love you"
Should go interstate for the funeral and how do i tell his family that it was my fault he killed himself. have i portrayed them with their son killing himself

Answer 1

Oh, my dear, your ex's decision is certainly not your fault. You mentioned that you went with him to see doctors about his depression on more than one occasion. It sounds like his depression was not a new thing. And, depression is not usually due to one circumstance, but to several problems that seem unbearable. Had you been available when he called, you might have been able to put off his untimely death, but for how long? A month, maybe 6 months, and he would probably have another bad week, and you'd feel the need to run to his rescue. That is no way to live - for you or for him. Death sucks, no doubt about that. I lost my best friend when we were 19. We had been best friends for 14 years, and it was a real bad time. I've lost many friends since then, as well as my parents, aunt and uncles. My ex husband has attempted suicide several times. It seems to me that suicide is a person's attempt to control a life that seems out of control. I do know that suicide is not the unforgiveable sin that many believe it to be. Know that your ex is not suffering in hell. It is as if he is asleep, conscious of nothing at all. At the end of this wicked system, he will be called out of his tomb. Chances are good that you will see him again, only under far better circumstances than are currently possible. It is going to be extremely difficult for you to forgive yourself, especially as long as you blame yourself for your friend's death. Please see a counselor about it. Pray to God to help you. And, take care of yourself. Get some exercise (an excellent stress reducer), get enough rest, eat stuff that's good for you, avoid booze, cry when you feel the need, and be patient with yourself. You're not going to get over this soon, but the pain will subside a little with the passing of time.

Answer 2

I want you to repeat this to yourself over and over: It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not my fault.

It is not your fault anymore than it's his family's fault or his former employer's fault. He clearly had problems you could not solve or help him solve.

But here is what you need to do. You need to talk to someone, a trusted adult, a parent, a relative. They will help you better than anyone on YA can. You may need to talk to a psychiatrist, but that's a call for those who know you.

Answer 3

Hello first of all I would like to send my sincerest condolences to you regarding the recent death of your best friend. as I was analyzing your message I could understand that you had a real love and zeal for your Best Friend Well being as you took care of him and was really there for him in Happiness and Sorrow that wherever the winds of this system of things blew him you were there by his side, as a wheel in the hands of a brave Captain in a agitated Sea, so my fellow Human that's why I would like to express my sympathy to you and share with you if you may permit me, a little of what I've learned as I coped with fear of guilty so I had a recurrent vision of my past experiences one in particular when I did all I could to help my Spiritual Sister whom fortunately did suffer any harm, but what I can that it was a tedious experience while it lasted, because I came to find out that she had been suffering from severe depression because she was involved a bad relationship prior to us becoming friends and as i remember after we met we became friends instantly and after analyzing her lack of appreciation for our Loving creator I looked for ways to help her out that meant be there for her every step of the way and helping her every where there was a necessary Spiritually, Emotionally, physically, financially but I went through an emotional roller coaster, because of her depression. Sometimes she would be fine would me helping her other she would make it a Big Deal and hide herself from me so I used to get very concerned for her safety, and I use to find fault in myself for everything that happened and feel guilt thinking that I would've not live with myself if she harmed herself or was involved in freak accident, but this and others Biblical scripture really helped me 1 Corinthians 13:3-7 and couple days later I would see her and she would say she was sorry and we would take our friendship from there again but whenever that her feeling of self-conceit or unworthiness comes I used to cry with her and help her reconstruct her self- esteem and on and off she used to disappear from me and use to how i would've be able to cope with myself if she had died or anything bad happened to her how I would've coped with my guilty but then whenever I read this scripture at Galatians 6:5 it would help by bring my mind back to spiritual issues it assured me that under the circumstance I did all that I would've maybe some other factors prevented her from seeing me and I use to read this Scriptures Ecclesiastes 9: 5, 10
that assured me that if my Best Friend at that time, had fell asleep in death that she would've have no feelings or no regrets whatsoever that after her demise, she would've simply cease to exist I would've not see her for a short period of time look Mark 5: 35-43 and then after Our true God expands his Heavenly Kingdom over us she would've been raised up from the dead Revelation 21: 3,4 because there will be a resurrection of both righteous and unrighteous Acts 24: 15 and so God' s Word help to learn that I should not be ignorant regarding those asleep in death. 1 Thessalonians 4: 13, 18 and further more I came to an accurate understanding as to who is the person causing death to mankind read Hebrew 2:14,15 so I wish you well and that for you to help yourself the best you and lean as much as possible on the shoulder of those that loves and understand you in this time of hardship in your life, the death of your Best Friend but something that you should consider is studying God's word the Bible so you can to see clearly that you as I have the assured hope to see our loved ones again and live with them in Paradise Earth Forever and Ever See Titus 1: 1-2 if I could help I would it would be a privilege.