How does your faith prepare you for the death of yourself or a loved one?

Question

It seems that Death, Sex, and Money are the last great taboos of modern society--stuff that everybody deals with but nobody's really allowed to TALK about. That being said, how does your religious orientation (or lack thereof) affect your preparations for death? I'm not really looking for your beliefs on the afterlife, but what do you say to those around you, how do you comfort and prepare each other for what is an inevitable part of existence?

Answer 1

I'm an agnostic pagan Witch, as you know, so my feelings about what to say about death, how to talk about it, are really guided by what I believe, which is that we return to the earth, and that it is going to be OK in a way that we don't and can't understand. I recently lost a loved one, and her end was something we expected but not by suicide. She was elderly, and her end was approaching, and when you tell people of an old person dying, you get soft words of comfort, and then they ask how did she die, and when you say suicide, their whole demeanlor goes into shock mode. It was shocking and people don't know how to respond.

How I try to comfort others and to help prepare for the end is to let the person lead me, see how they are dealing with it, ie, are they in denial about what is about to happen, are they in a fog, do they want the person to stop suffering, etc. How the soon to be bereaved person is handling it is how I then respond, and I temper my words and my offerings of comfort based on what they need to hear at that moment.

I felt bad for the people who tried to comfort my family when they heard about my loved one's death by suicide. I let them know that it was OK to be shocked,that we were shocked too, and that I love and trust them enough to tell them the truth. Telling the truth up front was a good way to handle this, in my opinion, bc it helped deflate the sort of nauseating inevitability of death that we avoid, and I guess that is human nature. What comforts me pesonally is the knowledge that we all go through it together, that we are not the first and won't be the last.

I just hope that it sneaks up on me by surprise....

blessings,
Lady Morgana 0(

Answer 2

I think that you know, I'm not affiliated with any religious faith, but have a deep respect for people like you, whom are open-minded.
About death...though I'm not looking forward to dying anytime soon, view it as an essential part of nature, therefore, when that day comes I think and hope that I will have spiritual and mental peace, because of the understanding that this too must occurr. Plus, the curiousity of what happens after intrigues me.

I would hope to approach the death of close ones in the same attitude, that it is a natural and vital part of existence, but being the cryer that I am, I'd still cry my eyes out and terribly miss their companionship, as well as, serve as comfort for others who would feel the same.
Can't be selfish though, their (or my) journey through life led them (or me) to that place and whatever is in store afterwards is just a part of that.

Answer 3

Celebrates the idea of an afterlife and no suffering rather than dwelling on the fact that the person may have been ill or sick before their death, just in like thinking the glass is half full whereas others think it to be half empty.

Answer 4

There's nothing to say to people who've lost a loved one - well, nothing that deeply moves them or changes things for them. Its impossible to know what to say - how can words change the loss they feel - it can't. Just know that the fact you've taken time to bother about them brings some comfort to them.

Answer 5

i just say its the circle of life
deal with it
yeah im hard core