My father hasn't been in my life since I was 9 years old other than a few phone calls and cards every Christmas and Birthday. My stepfather has been with me since I was 10 (I am now 24). I am getting married in May of 2008 and both my father and stepfather are coming. I am having my mother walk me down the isle, but I'm not sure how to choose which father for the father daughter dance. Does anyone have any tips or any different things I could do to make both happy and avoid making anyone mad?
2007-08-19 13:03:12 · 13 answers · asked by Tostito 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I feel your pain...I have a dad and a stepdad...so I'm dealing with similar concerns.
In my case, this is what I'm doing:
My father is going to walk me down the aisle alone half way...then meet my stepfather in the middle of the aisle, and they both will walk me the rest of the way.
I'll have TWO "Father/Daughter" dances...Dad first, then moving right into Stepdad dance. This way both are being recognized without creating hurt feelings.
Good luck hon,
~Kat
2007-08-20 02:26:40 · answer #1 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a catch 22. I would say have 2 father daughter dances. But dance with your step dad first because he was there for you and stepped up to the plate when your own father didn't...that takes a real man to do that! Good call on your mom walking you down the isle that way you didn't have to pick between your dad and your step dad(that would have been harder than the dance!) One thing about weddings is there is NO WAY you can make everyone happy! I am 26 and have been married once before and after 5yrs of marriage he left me when our special needs child was only 3 months old! Now I am engaged again and getting married 8-8-08. Trust me from experience there is always someone who is not going to be happy. This time around its for me(because I'm not doing this again!) and I'm sorry is everyone is not happy. It's about me and my husband. I do wish you the best of luck on your wedding and I hope the dance goes well!
2007-08-19 20:44:51 · answer #2 · answered by ice38034 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friend just got married and danced with her father for the father/daughter dance and then with her step-dad during the mother/son dance.
But her dad has been pretty involved in her life for the last 5 years.
2 dances might be unconventional -- but a good idea nonetheless.
I think the main thing to get out of this issue is the joy in knowing that you will make d*** sure YOUR daughter will never be in this same position one day, because you picked a good man and are going to treat him very well.
Good luck and congratulations...
2007-08-19 20:17:30 · answer #3 · answered by mj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start off dancing with your father. Have your stepfather cut in half way. I went to a wedding just recently where she had the dj mix 2 songs together--one that suited her relationship with her father and one that suited her closer relationship with her stepfather. As one faded into the other, she switched partners.
However, would it make your father mad to not have a dance? After all, he has hardly been in your life. If it were me, I wouldn't honor him with a main dance as he wasn't there for any other main events. But since you are quite diplomatic wanting to make sure no one is upset, you could either not do a spotlight dance and just open the dance floor. Then make sure you dance with each during the night equal times but neither has a centerpiece moment.
2007-08-19 21:02:07 · answer #4 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well. Why not let both of them walk you down the aisle and then have a mother daughter dance. Or Simply dance with both! Who ever gives up more money for the wedding should get the first dance and then the other one. (don't tell them that this is how you chose who got the first dance!)
2007-08-19 20:11:41 · answer #5 · answered by lilbitt_637 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dance with both.
Start the dance with your stepfather and have you dad cut in halfway through OR, you go to your stepfather for the first part and then go to your dad to finish.
2007-08-19 20:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is that dance really, really important to you? If I were you, I would skip the "father dance" and just dance first w/ the groom, then, the best man, then, maybe brother(?), then let it be. Others will begin to join you on the dance floor, and you'll be able to dance with each of them without everyone
"watching".
If they both love and care for you, I should think they would understand. It puts tension and stress on all of you. It is not fair to you, and it is not fair to either of them, and it is not fair to your mother.
It is potential for hurt feelings, and it's just not worth it. People never seem to forget --- you can't unring a bell.
Best wishes!
.
2007-08-19 20:30:52 · answer #7 · answered by sheek Txn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have 2 father/daughter dances. One with your father and one with your step-father. I think that would be lovely!
2007-08-19 20:10:59 · answer #8 · answered by songbird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should dance with your stepfather first, then your dad. Your dad cant be upset being as though he knows he wasn't there for most of your life!!!
2007-08-19 20:22:41 · answer #9 · answered by ablockgurl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple dont have the father -daughter dance that way you do not hurt anyone's feelings and you dont have to choose either . good luck and congrats on the wedding .
2007-08-19 20:07:41 · answer #10 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋