Am I suffering from severe depression? and will a normal person be depressed going through my situation?

Question

I'm 25 years old about to turn 26. I have not been able to have friends, go out, or have a girlfriend for the last 7 years due to deaths in family...so I'm had to stay home to take care. I grew up in a small town where all of the good looking girls where taken and I've always been told that I look good (I'm asian guy). It's crazy now that I'm 25 and never had a girlfriend. I was so outgoing, and just about everybody liked me...and I was part of the "crowd" in school. Was a team captain of the golf team, etc etc. I lost everything except for my education, which now I'm working on my masters degree online. Is this normal to be feeling sad all the time due to my situation? I'm trying to be as optimistic as I can, and I want to know if there is anybody out there that is going through the same sort of thing.

Answer 1

Hello. Yes, I would say it's completely normal to feel the way you do right now. I have had severe cases of sadness and depression arising from circumstances in my life that were beyond my control. I think it's natural for you to feel the way you do. The way I got through my depression was to not focus on the bad in my life, but the good. All the things I am grateful for. Even the most minor thing like a good cup of coffee. (I love coffee) : ) I hope this helped......Peace to your heart,
Eyedeas625

Answer 2

You have the rest of your life to live with yourself, right? You want a full life with friends and maybe your own family, right? You want to have happiness and joy and all the good stuff that you once had, right? There is no way anyone goes through multiple deaths and care taking without being profoundly effected, without depression, without wondering about the point of life. In that, your response is normal. Becoming a social recluse is understandable, but still not the best coping skill. You know this, otherwise you would not have posted. Where I am going is that you need help to get out of the hole, to fully process the deaths in a healthy way, to get on with your life in a way that you really want to live. Find a therapist that you can respect and grow to trust. It's not a weakness. Hell, anyone remotely healthy in your shoes would do the same. A therapist can also help you figure out if you need medication. The medication, if needed, would only be for a while. You have real tough life reasons to be depressed. Therapy and antidepressants if needed would also help with the anxiety of returning to an active life. Anyone would be anxious about that, too.

If you can't afford a therapist, contact your county government. They have programs. Another option would be to enroll in a college nearby (basket weaving would work) and take advantage of counseling services there. That option just might hook you up with some friends, too.

Answer 3

I'm going to look at your question from a different angle. You didn't say how long you've been feeling this way and more importantly, how it's affecting you. If it's interfering with your ability to function in life, you are probably in clinical (medical) depression. And "normal" people can experience clinical depression just like "normal" people can have heart attacks, thyroid problems, diabetes and a whole bunch of other things. Depression is an illness like all of these other things, except that it's an illness of the brain.

A persistently negative situation like you're describing could put an otherwise "normal" person (whatever "normal" is) into clinical depression. As your mind dwells on the negative stuff, your brain's ability to make the chemicals that regulate mood is repressed. The negative stuff takes a stronger hold and the brain's ability to regulate mood gets even worse. Eventually you get into clinical depression.

Once someone gets to that point, the main question remaining is whether one can get out of that "pit" by doing the positive things that the others have been talking about (if you can't bring yourself to DO those things, you're past that point), whether you need to see a counselor or therapist to consciously learn to "talk back" to the negative thoughts so that the brain can work its way back out of the pit (a process called "cognitive therapy") or if you need medication to boost your brain chemicals back up to give therapy and the other stuff a chance. And we can't determine that for you online. You need to talk with someone locally. You may be able to figure some of it out yourself with a book like Dr. David Burns' "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" which is a book on cognitive therapy written on a popular (as opposed to clinical) level. It's sure helped me over the years.

Hope this helps.

Answer 4

You might very well suffer from some form of depression. However, many teenagers suffer from some forms of depression. The best thing to do is see a doctor or talk to a person you trust about it. If you have serious depression problems, you may need to take prescription medication. Also, if you're female, depression, mood swings, etc. can be a side affect of your period. And if you're pregnant, eating a lot is often common. (If you are pregnant, or think you could be pregnant, see a doctor.)

Answer 5

You sound like you feel isolated right now. And you are right, if you are isolated due to family circumstances, you are going to feel lonely and depressed. Trick is to stop dwelling on the past and what you can't fix, and start getting out there again. Age is just a number and it doesn't matter if you've never had a girlfriend before. Lots of guys are the same, they just don't tend to admit it. I have known a couple, still do...And if you are busy working on your masters, you might have plenty of excuses for not getting out there. But when you finish your masters and get your good job, you'll still have the same problem you have now. Busy working, and no life...so unless you want this to continue, find some way to start getting out there again and meet new people. Honestly, sometimes we have to change our surroundings, too. It was easier that way for me.
Good luck to you, don't give up.

Answer 6

I was the same way. For me there was no particular reason I was suddenly boxing myself off from the world. I went out less and less and wasn't interested in getting together with my friends. All I wanted to do was stay inside and sleep.

I'm 19 (have been told I'm attractive) and have never had a boyfriend. Everyone thinks I'm really outgoing, but I'm not really.

I am currenlty being treated for severe anxiety (genetic. Joy) and severe depression that sprouted from the anxiety. Things are getting better; I'm on medications and am seeing a therapist, who I believe has saved my life. I'm gradually beginning to become more outgoing and for the first time in years I actually have the urge to leave the house!

I'm not saying you have something this serious, but if you find you can't convince yourself to get out there or if you do go out and are miserable: it's time to get some help. Believe me, if you leave this alone and it turns out to be depression/anxiety, it'll only get worse.

Good luck!

Answer 7

anyone would be depressed in that situation.
and you need to get out even if its just to a support group or
something where you have more balance in your life.
it sounds like you are taking too much of the weight of the family on your shoulders .
many times families need grief counselling.
there is also a Good book on death and dying and maybe the family can go through it learn the stages and how to take care. can buy or library
Elisabeth Kubler Ross : On Death And Dying
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' ground-breaking book on the stages of death and dying. Site includes links to net resources for grief, bereavement, hospice care, ...
www.growthhouse.org/books/kubler1.htm - 9k

death should not be your whole life especially when you are young!. its wrong your family has allowed this or that you have done this to yourself or any combo.

change the path, get in with the living, now, i say!
then your depression will fade.
if your family forces/ if you get very depressed/you can get a 3 day hold at psyche for review and help if you feel you are a danger to self or others or not taking care , better to do it voluntary than wait fro involuntary.

Answer 8

Yes, I'd be depressed too. The past few years you've been surrounded by death and practically alone. Everyone needs friends. Are there any colleges near wear you live? If so, try actually going instead of doing it online, you will definitely find people to befriend, just try to be that outgoing person you were. You might even want to consider therapy. I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 9

Yes you are normal.I wouldnt have thought it good to have a child like you stuck at home taking care. Not fair. Its been situational depression and now its time for you to LIVE. Anyway we know lots of people who marry at 35 or so . You will be a real catch with your education and excellent career possibilities. Hang in there and expose yourself to different social situations and dont have a pity party any longer. You must be quite a caring and giving person whom anyone would love. You will be able to retrieve your popularity quite well. You need to not look back.

Answer 10

It sounds like you have been through a lot. You have had to help take care of people who took care of you when you were little. It's a wonderful blessing that you were able to be there for them.
As you finish your degree and make your way out there into the world you will have many opportunities to meet new people and develop relationships. You're still very young and you have many new adventures and experiences in front of you. I hope from here on out all good things come your way.