my boyfriend made up a new email address that he has his ex girlfriend on, that i am not on, nor did i know about. i only found out because i found out they were talking to eachother at work, and i asked her about it, and she told me he did this. im very upset and he lied to my face about it numerous times when i'd ask if he still spoke to her. what do i do? why do you think he did this? i know he's not cheating on me, but why does he need to talk to her..
2007-08-19 11:10:40 · 16 answers · asked by New Beginnings? ♥ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would confront.
"I spoke to Sheila, your ex, about that you talk to each other at work. Why do you feel you must do this to me?"
2007-08-19 11:19:48 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't done anything wrong. It's not like you found this information out by snooping. So. Confront his lying butt. Calmly tell him that Susie the Chippy (perhaps you shouldn't say that last bit) has told you that he's been emailing her from this new address. Tell him that you want to trust him, that you want to believe what he's told you in the past about talking to her. Tell him that you don't want to make some production, some terrible scene, and don't. Don't scream or throw things. Tell him that if he'll show this email account and the contacts that go with it and if that account shows no evidence that he's been emailing Susie the Chippy, you will never bring the subject up again. If he refuses or if the evidence contradicts him, well friend, you have a whole lot of things to deal with in that relationship. Is he a liar? A cheater? Are you being too controlling of all his relationships so that he feels maintaining even an innocuous friendship requires the old cloak and dagger secret email route?
Best of luck.
2007-08-19 18:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by July 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he hid an email address from you - that indicates the possibility of cheating. He may however just want to talk with her but then why create a new email address? He may have lied because he felt you would "overreact" but that doesn't justify his lying. Definitely you need to talk to each other and be open and honest and as calm as possible.
My thoughts are though that he is no longer worthy of your trust and that you should break up with him, however the choice and decision is up to you. I wish you all the best.
2007-08-19 18:21:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know that he's not cheating and you still have this trust issue then that is why he is keeping things from you. This is the one thing that me and my husband always agreed apon, not to make each other feel like we couldn't the other anything. You have put him in aplace where he feels that he can't talk to you. And you are trying to choose his friends for him. Don't make him feel this way. Is what he is doing wrong. Of course it is, but you need to sit him down and tell him that it's ok to be friends with nayone but you will not accept being lied to.
2007-08-19 18:17:09 · answer #4 · answered by Brandi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He lies to you. That is what he does. He does not have the intestinal fortitude to tell you the truth. If those are the qualities you want in a man then stay with him. Otherwise... He had to put a lot of energy and effort to do all of this betrayal.
2007-08-19 18:17:11 · answer #5 · answered by orcarius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him! Communication is beautiful, there must be a reason and theres no way for a whole bunch of strangers to know, so you just have to ask!
2007-08-19 18:14:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
has he introduced you two in person? would he be willing to? if the answer is no... there may be more than just friends going on there, even if it is just simple flirting. he might be ok with them just being friends(you say you trust him) but he might be afraid she might say or do something to make you jealous if you two are together. thats how my ex was. so i didnt meet half the friends she hung around(since they were all guys or ex's)
2007-08-19 18:19:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. He doesn't need to talk to her..he wants to keep in touch for some reason...you should definitely find out what's up with that. And if he lies to you again, you should leave him.
2007-08-19 18:15:33 · answer #8 · answered by shannon_yo7 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he didn't break up with her on bad terms, maybe and hopefully its just friendly talking. sort of like when ex wives and ex husbands see each other even though they are both remarried. ask him whats shes been up to and see how he reacts. if he is open about it then i wouldnt worry.
2007-08-19 18:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by brujitotino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh man, i had somthing like that happen to me but my boyfriend was at this girl's house and spent the night and they talked on the phone ALOT even when i was there!!! and i broke up with him cause i was ANGRY and now i can't get him back,
"you don't know what you have till there gone!!"
but then i met the girl and now we are like REAL GOOD FRIEND'S
i'm telling you..
to just talk to him about this!!
how will he be honest with you if your not with him!!??!?
2007-08-19 18:19:04 · answer #10 · answered by stevie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋