Where in the Bible Does it say spare the rod and spoil the child?

Question

If you answered NO WHERE you are correct. This is the most misquoted part of scripture.

It says he who spares his child the rod of discipline hates his son (Proverbs 13:24)....of course it also says you shall beat your child with the rod in order to deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:14.

So with out getting into a debate about spanking.....why do people assume that discipline is punishment....discipline is teaching which includes positive and negative reinforcement?

Also, why do people insist on throwing the Bible around when they don't really know it....and why do they throw it into an argument with someone who is not a Christian......the Bible means little to nothing to them.

I'm a Christian...I'm just trying to understand this. There are many things in the Bible I would NEVER apply to my children (ie Abraham was willing to kill his son and Lot offered a mob of men his daughters). Ephesians says "Parents do not provoke your children." Never hear that one!

So far only one person has answered the question....I'm not having a spiritual crisis and "hit them where the Lord split them"has got to be the silliest thing ever.

The question is "where in the Bible does it say spare the rod and spoil the child?" and why do people make up stuff that isn't there.

Answer 1

The bible doesn't. This is a quote from Butler's poem, "Hudibras" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hudibras#Significance . It is possible, considering the content of the poem, that this verse was *derived* from the bible.

Jim, http://www.jimpettis.com/wheel/

Answer 2

Thank you - you are completely correct. That gets on my nerves so bad. In my opinion, it's one odd comment that keeps being passed down from generation to generation, without anyone stopping to think about it and find out the truth for themselves.

I searched for the origin of this. The first time this aphorism appears in print is in a long satirical poem called “Hudibras,” written in 1663 by English poet Samuel Butler. The poem, which fills up an entire book, is a satirical attack on hyper-legalistic Puritanism. The quote: "What med’cine else can cure the fits / Of lovers when they lose their wits? / Love is a boy by poets stil’d; / Then spare the rod and spoil the child."

The current version of the saying is probably based on Proverbs 13:24: “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” In our 21st century, post-modern culture, it is not a popular subject, and I agree with the comment above - it's much easier to misrepresent the Bible than to tell a person they hate their children if they don't punish them. Of course, they also leave out the fact that here the 'rod' refers to a shephearders rod used to guide, not beat, the herd.

I think some people are simply willing to do and say whatever necessary to win an argument.

Answer 3

I've never hear any one use the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child" and claim they are quoting the bible.

I've always thought of the old proverb as being something Ben Franklin would have penned in his "Poor Richard's Almanac".

People throw all kinds of "authorities" around without really understanding what they mean. The Bible is no exception, and you're only noticing its misuse over other sources because you have other issues.

Answer 4

I'll tell you why people constantly use the bible to justify things... it's beacuse they can't accept the responsibility of things they have done themselves and so claim that "it's in the bible" to absolve themselves from any form of responsibility... "It's not me... the bible made me do it"...

Luckily, not all people are like that... But those that are spoil it for the rest of us.

And as for disciplne, I've long held that a child who does something wrong should be punished... not necasarily beaten or spanked, but made to feel uncomfortable... That way the association of that act leading to a nasty feeling trains them to not commit the act in the first place! It's not rocket science!

Answer 5

well I would say to study the bible with a bible concordance, There is a reason why God made us with so much padding on the butt,hit them where the Good Lord split them. Not beat them but spank. The Bible is from God and so that is why it is justified no matter what ignorant people think about it. Also you should be using the rod and not your hands. Your hands are for blessing and love not for discipline.
Abraham was being obedient to God,Because anything God asks us to do we should know is in our best interests.
If you are a christian should you not ask your pastor these questions?
proverbs 13:24 -He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Spareth-withold
Rod-staff, branch, offshoot, club,
Hateth-enemy
Son-youth
Loveth-act of being a friend
Chastening-correction
Besides- to look for diligently

Answer 6

I've had this "quoted" to me many times when it comes to discipline of my children. The only place I have ever found it, like you, was in Proverbs. I think they just shorten the actual quote. Noone wants to tell you that if you don't spank your child you hate them.

Answer 7

Just a comment on Abraham willing to kill his son... What we learn from that isn't that a father was willing to kill his child but that his heart was so given to his God that he was willing to do what his loving and faithful God told him to do. And God honored that trust by providing the ram. And we also see the obedience of the son who went up on that mountain and laid down on that rock and waited. Would our good kids do that now?

Additionally, it is also a foreshadowing of Christ and is there to make us think about what a parent would go through in that situation.

And you are so very right! We should hear about not provoking our kids!

Answer 8

Good for you. People always screw up the Bible and take things out of context. Read the Bible for yourself and be a true Christian. It's what Jesus wanted.

P.S. Y'know what's funny? The Pope just got up one day and declared himself to be infallible. Where in the Bible does it even mention a Pope?

Answer 9

"He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)

Answer 10

Umm.... what? People misquote and misuse teachings from the Bible all the time. They used it to justify slavery and the Holocaust. Now that we have established that people use the Bible to support their own argument now what? Why do you care. Have your own convictions about how you want to raise your kids and lead by example that's what Jesus taught.