He calls me his wife even though he hasn't even proposed to me yet..?

Question

I am 23 years old and my boyfriend is 28 and he is wonderful. We both tell each other that we know this we are going to be together forever. He always tells me that after I get my degree (next summer) we are going to be one. Currently, we are gf/bf but he pretends I'm his wife and he likes to discuss the kids we are going to have together but he hasn't proposed to me or given me a ring. Should I let this continue or not? If I do let him keep this up will it delay his proposal? Do you think this is right?

Answer 1

That's flattering, if anything its just that he feels so confident in you two being together forever. If it bothers you then thats another story where you would need to tell him to stop. Then again if you do that it may bother him. If he told you by next summer that you would become one, then wait for next summer. The fact that he calls you wife shouldn't delay the proposal :) Tell him if anything he should be calling you his fiancee.

best wishes

Answer 2

Havent you only been together 3 months or something?
Tell him to stop that rubbish until you guys are actually married. If he keeps it up, by the time you do get to being married he probably wont bother becasue there wont be a point, if he already feels married.
This is the same guy you are so insecure about and sure he will cheat and he has an ex wife and a child too.
I think you should get out and live a bit before tying yourself down with this older man. I think you guys are a recipie for disaster. Sorry, but that is my opinion.

Answer 3

Hello? He's calling you his wife, so he definitely sound committed! He's talking about KIDS.

Why jump the gun? He's saying after you get your degree next summer (not now!) that you will be one.

Give him time to propose! Don't be so impatient.

Regarding someone's answer about common law marriage, it is recognized in very few states now and there needs to be more than just living together and calling each other husband and wife. You need to file taxes as though you were married, introduce yourself as husband and wife, and also be in a state that still recognizes common law marriage (which are very few). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_law_marriage

Answer 4

He's said he plans to marry you once you finish your degree. That sounds to me as though he intends to propose pretty shortly after you graduate.

My guy and I started designing our dream house and naming the kids on our third date. We got married pretty quickly after he finished paying off his mother's mortgage (long story, but I fully supported him in doing it this way). It took a long time, but we got there in the end. I don't believe one bit that dreaming of our future slowed it down. Like you, we had a specific goal that had to be achieved. When it was, we married.

From the last question you asked and this one, it sounds to me as though you have some serious trust issues to work through. I'd say you need to work on those before you worry too much about a ring.

Answer 5

I think it's wrong to trivialize or minimize the sacred role of husband and wife by his pretending you're something you're not. I think it disparages the sanctity of marriage when it's made into a joke or a little game. If he's serious about you and your future together, tell him to put his money where his mouth is. I don't think it's cute at all.

Answer 6

I think it's silly for girls today to stick with the "wait until he proposes"

JUST ASK. "Are you ready or not?" If he can't answer, you should ask yourself how much it matters to you.

Don't need to call Dr. Laura, but my advice is MARRIAGE IS TROUBLE especially for people your young age. Don't rush it. Calling you his wife can be a tease or joke, he's just trying to say he loves you, nothing wrong with that. A paper won't change the fact he does or doesn't, but it can change lots of your legal liabilities.

Answer 7

you did not include the fact that you have only known him for 3 months and he is divorced with other children. i think he is playing you for all you're worth. tell him to cool it with the talk about children and watch carefully, does he act llike he has been caught? does he act surprised? does he act like you have slapped him?? then you know you have caught him in his own line of nonsense with you. if he agrees with you and says, calmly, i just love you so much, that is a good sign. but i dont think that is what is going to happen. i think he is setting you up and talking this way to you to frankly string you along.

Answer 8

Right now he's getting the milk for free. You are living with him, sleeping with him, and letting him call you wife. Why would he buy the cow? Perhaps he dosen't belive in long engagements and is waiting until closer to when you can actually get married...you'll have to ask him becuase only he know's the answer.

When my HTB starts with that I simply show him my empty finger and remind him that while I am happy to be his wife someday I am still a free woman.

Answer 9

No, do not let it continue. Also check your state's laws on commonlaw marriage. Until a few years ago, Pennsylvania's commonlaw marriage was established simply by holding yourself out to the world as a married couple. There are still a handful of states that recognize commmonlaw marriage. If your state is one of them, you could end up in a sticky situation if you allow this.

Answer 10

He is using you. By calling you his wife he is saying that your relationship has reached its final destination.

If you are happy with that then all is well. If you want to marry him you have a small problem.


Why are you dating someone soooo much older then you? This is the crux of the problem. He is ready for married life and you are still waiting to get your life started.