Should i tell my father?

Question

Heres the story:
My mother, sister, brother, and i were walking home from church. My mom told my brother that he needed to practice his piano today. He told her "i know mom, i practice my piano every day". He is 8 if this helps. She responded by telling him "Well, since you always know everything then i won't tell you when you need to do something i'll just spank you for it." When we got home my brother started to eat lunch she walked up to him and spanked him and then told him it was for not doing his chore (putting away the silverware). Then she walked into his bedroom and came right back out and said "you got another one coming you didn't turn off your light in your room." She spanked him again. My brother came down to my room and told me that he was going to do his silverware right after he ate lunch and that it was like she was looking for something else to spank him for so she got mad at him over the light. He was crying and i told him that i would find out if what to do.

My brother wanted to know if we should tell my dad or if she would get mad at him even more. I really want to help him out. By the way i was in the room both times that she spanked him but i didn't say anything because i didn't want her to take it out on him. Was she justified or is something wrong?

Answer 1

You sound like a good big sister, and if her behaviour is concerning you, it might be a smart idea to talk to your dad. If you're close just tell him that you're worried she will take it out on you if you speak on it.
Sounds like she has a personal problem with your brother, I am a mother of 3 and for me, spanking didn't come easy, I really disapprove of it, unless a child is harming himself or someone else, and absolutely nothing else has worked... To me it's concerning that it was SO easy and her only resort.
Best wishes with this, I admire your concern.

Answer 2

My first question is whether your dad still lives with you or are your parent's divorced. If he is still in the home, then definitely tell him.

Another option is that you could try talking to your mom when she is calm. I know that it might be difficult as it is always difficult to tell someone you love and respect, especially a parent, that you think she is wrong.

The way you phrased the situation, it sounds like your mom is trying to teach him a lesson about being a "know it all." She will not succeed as it goes with the age. I also seemed to think that your brother may have been trying to tell her that he does not need to be prompted to practise piano; perhaps she needs to prompt him only after he has had an opportunity to do things correctly.

Someone else said that you are a good big sister. I agree!

Answer 3

Your mom needs some help. Whether it is with anger management or parenting she needs some help. You should tell your dad but ask him to be as discreet as he can when telling her about it. This is something that can not go on with out saying anything. Spanking is not going to make your brother do his chores all the time. It will make him fearful however.

Answer 4

Absolutely you should tell your Dad. Your Mom has no right to go on spanking you unless you are not doing what is required of you. We all share in housework duties. We also has to obey and respect parents. Be more loving and attentive to your mother and time will change her.. Maybe she is just tired.

Answer 5

Your brother could have avoided the whole situation by not being a smart mouth and just saying "Yes, ma'am." when she told him to practice. I really can't stand smart mouth kids. I personally would have done what you mother did. What your brother said came across as disrespectful to me. He needs to apologize, and she'll probably back off. Moms work hard and sometimes one thing can push us over then deep end. For all that she does, how much do you thank her for it? You can tell your dad, but if he's a man of order he'd spank your brother and make him apologize for disrespecting his mom too!!

Answer 6

If your instinct that something is wrong it probably is. You feel like her actions towards your brother weren't just discipline but also somewhat abusive. I think you should tell your father right away before something really bad happens.

I'm so sorry you've been put in this position but I'm glad you are there for your brother!

Answer 7

That sounds completely wrong. A grown adult should know better than to spank an eight year old for not doing something he doesn't know to do. You should seriously talk to your dad or to a teacher or someone who can do something about it...especially before it really messes up your brother for life.

Answer 8

This problem is too big to be left on your young shoulders. If your father is an understanding and fair man, by all means tell him the same story you just told me, if he isn't, tell one of your school counselors, even if you have to call him at home.
Get help, your mother is not right.

Answer 9

i think that u the one who should know better than any one (f u have 2 tell Ur father or not) `cause family relationship is More difficult than that i have to know f this will make a problem between Ur father and mom

Answer 10

Yeah , tell your dad b/c that 's the most immature i 've never heard about a mom doing that to her child. one more thing , Your a good big sister for sticking up for your little brother.