I'm going away to college and need relationship help from people who have been in similar situations?

Question

Okay, heres the situation:
I have been with my girlfriend for exactly nine months now. Our relationship started off extremely intense and I would even classify it as "love at first sight". For the first 4 or 5 months we spent all of our free time together and we were both very much in love with each other. Things cooled off a little bit over the next couple of months (she went on vacation for a while) and now I have to go off to college many miles from her while she still has one year of high school left. We have talked about the probable outcomes of me going away (our relationship just sort of disintegrates), and we both realize that we probably won't be with each other for forever. However, that doesn't make the situation any easier. I care very very much about her and have even thought of her as my "soulmate" or something like that, and at the very least, my best friend and the most important person in the world to me.How do I deal with this?Is itimpossible for us to stay together?

Answer 1

Well it sounds like you really love this girl. I'm going through a similar situation, but we're trying a long distance relationship. Its hard but our love is strong and yours sounds like it it, too. So I say try the long distance thing and if its meant to be then you guys will make it. Good luck :)

Answer 2

It will be very difficult indeed. But if you two really care about each other a lot then it can work out.

9 months isn't a very solid foundation, however. It generally takes about half the time (or less) of knowing someone to get over them. If you're off in college for about 4 months or less you could very possibly have just moved on.

How far is this college that you are going to? Is it in another state or like 100 miles away? If it's in another state it will be difficult to see her often. If it is just a long drive, you can visit her every weekend or every other weekend.

It is very important to keep a strong connection!!!

How important is it that you go off to this particular college? Can you go to college closer to where she is in high school now and then just transfer your credits to the college of choice after she graduates?

Think about how important your relationship with her is. What it means to you and what you are willing to sacrifice to make it work.

If you do not feel like all of the extra work and effort is worth it, then maybe she isn't your soul mate. You are still very young and there will be others. So don't just think that you need to stick around because you don't think you'll find another.

But like I said if you feel that she really and truly is the one then you have to decide that you are going to make some sacrifices to make your relationship work. Because in the beginning, 'absence may make the heart grow fonder', but after a while, it becomes 'out of sight, out of mind'.

Answer 3

You have to decide whether you want to be in a long distance relationship or not. If you do, try to make it work. Write emails, send cards, go back to visit, etc. Try it, see if it works for you.

Or decide to move on, and just be friends with her.

There's no way someone on the net can answer this question for you. You seem to have a good understanding of the situation.

How many hours drive is it from her house to your college? If its more than a couple hours, you are not really going to be able to visit her very often, and so the intensity of feeling may diminish, you'll meet other people....

Answer 4

Been there, done that, the moths ate the tee shirt long ago! Just go away to school and enjoy yourself. In a few months(as bad as it sounds now), you'll find you're so busy with school and new activities/friends/girls, etc you won't have time to pine over this stuff! It had its' run and the time for HS loves has passed...move on.

Answer 5

it isnt impossible but its hard... You both need to love eachother enough because if its just u loving her shell end up hurting u and the other way around too. So what im saying is make sure you both want to be together and try. If it doesnt work out...you can say youve tried and if it does than you almost wasted a good relationship. Goodluck to you both!!!

Answer 6

anything is possible.. and other relationships have survived things like this... you do realize though that because you both are so young your chances aren't great.. just remember if its meant to be it will happen... you cant force it to work.. but my advice would be to go enjoy college and let her enjoy her senior year.. when you do talk to her.. dint spend the whole time dwelling on "what if's" make your conversations something she enjoys and cant wait to talk to you again... try not to bring the whole distance relationship not going to work, etc.. thing... be positive and happy when you do get to talk to her..

just my opinion.. but if I were in your shoes you acting like this with me would make me really want to work hard at keeping us together.. if every time we talked you were down and negative I wouldn't talk to you as much... does any of this make sense.. or am I just rambling on? lol

Answer 7

let me put it this way...if you both want to see eachother, you will both put the time and effort it takes to do so. it wont be easy and frequent but you will see eachother and keep in touch..through phone, msn live, aim, myspace, facebook, TRAVELLING, driving down to see eachother, meeting halfway and during vacations and such. It doesnt have to end if no one wants it to end. It CAN work out.