i live in a familly of 7 i have two younger bros and mom dad and my grand parents .and my father wants me to help him in his familly business ......but i dont wana do the familly business i wana be a software engenies i am 18 years old and my parents wont let me do any thing of my wish .i go to a collage and also go for computer traning in evening .its not like that i dont wana help him but the thing i have been told to do a so off my qualification .i have to do the work of a delivery person and even more if i do get home early some time from collage they ask me to come to the work place and sit idle ....and if i ask then for some work the give me some work equivelant to a peon or something wht should i do i meam if my father is owner of a factory how can i do such a work of a low profile......
so plz tell me how can i be independent of my parents fully .before u anser plz keep in mind that i am a 18 year old boy from india's one of the most advanced cities and study in a collage
2007-08-19 07:52:08 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i have a hell lots of problems with my parents so i want to be seperated from my but my emoptions keep getting in the way so i DONT wane seperated from my family just be fully independent of my parents so that i dont have to ask them for money permitions of differnet kinds and i dont want my parents to control my life as a puppet as they are doing it now .....
2007-08-19 08:00:50 · update #1
my father keep scolding me every time i try to tell him my way of thinking and my way of thinking is entirelly different from my parents so wht do u suggest.............?
2007-08-19 08:04:04 · update #2
well you can startt with getting a better job
pls check the link below
2007-08-20 04:22:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The way I see it, your only option is to tell your parents -- respectfully -- that you realize they have dreams for your future in the family business, but you have your own ideas of what you want to do in life that are different from theirs. Ultimately, the only person who can make that deciison is you.
My guess is that they always assumed you would be part of the family business (which is why it is a "family" business) and you can bet they will be hurt when you don't take that road in life.
I gotta tell ya, your attitude towards the "work of a peon or something" and "such a work of a low profile" is not attractive and it kind of makes you seem lazy and spoiled. He is most likely giving you that work to try to teach you the importance of hard work.
If you want to do something else with your life, do it, but I would not pose it in a way that implies you think you're too good for the family business. If you WERE to go into it, your dad is doing the best thing he can, from a business standpoint -- teaching you that because you are the owner's son does not mean you are "above" the menial jobs. If that's your attitude, it will not help you in any profession.
If you don't want to be taking money from them, just don't take it. Get a job and earn your own. News flash: the job you get to earn your money and not be dependant on your parents may be "so off your qualification." It's called sucking it up and making a living. When you are working and not dependant on them, if you can't afford something you want, you just do without or you find a way to make more money.
And I have a suggestion for you. Before you get a swollen head about menial jobs and your qualifications, contact places about jobs that require your qualifications. See if they would hire you at this time.
You may just find that three or four years from now, you would have qualifications, but not right now.
2007-08-19 15:17:40 · answer #2 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In India I know family is most important. and you feel that you can not go against your parents wishes, do you have an Uncle you could confide in? or some other person whom your Father and mother respect and honor? If you could possibly talk to one of your relatives and explain how things are maybe they could intervene and help your situation. Could you possible go work for one of your relatives until you are a little older and able to support yourself. You can't do much without money behind you; especially in India. Also you need to continue your Education, and if this means helping out in the family business then you may have to do this. You are in charge of your future and if by staying at home with your family means you can earn and save money until such time as you have enough to support yourself . then that's what you must do. but try talking to the relative first.
2007-08-27 11:51:24 · answer #3 · answered by gone! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you want to be independent? Get a job, move out on your own, pay for your own college.
Next time you try to talk to your father about what you want to do, bring some information with you, college brosures, facts about the field you desire to work in. Talk with a cool head, do not get upset! Explain to him your feelings. Talk to him, not at him. I am sure he sees you as his legacy, the one to ensure his business keeps running, the one to carry on after he is gone.
Please remember the factory you are talking about is what has put food on your table, and a roof over your head while you were growing up.
If you cannot move out on your own, show your father how you can be helpful in other areas of the business instead of what you call 'peon work'. But remember no one starts out at the top in any field, you must do the peon work to make it to the 'big cheese' in any line of work. Never look down on the people who don't have the 'high class' jobs, they are the real backbone of the economy. For every 1 software designer, there is a 100 'peons' who have touched the material you are using before it gets to you.
Just make sure your father knows you love and respect him, but you need to live your own life. Above all be nice. Don't make him think you don't respect him, that will just start the old arguments over again. Explain don't complain.
Next time he asks you to go to the factory and work, don't wait to be told exactly what to do, jump in and help in the office, help with the computer work, show him how benificial you could be to him if you upgraded some of his processes. Look at ways to make things go more efficently, and effectivly.
2007-08-27 08:30:36 · answer #4 · answered by Wayne S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being given a great opportunity to view the business from many different prospectives. Learn now - when you have finished school then you can make some big decisions about if you still want to be involved. Meanwhile just because you are the bosses son does mean you should have a silver spoon in your mouth.
2007-08-27 12:04:19 · answer #5 · answered by keezy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy...
Don't depend on others for money, etc.
Move out, get a job, and take care of yourself financially.
-You have to be able to live and lead your own life.
Don't let no one tell you that you cannot do something.
Let it be more fuel to prove them wrong.
2007-08-27 11:47:31 · answer #6 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ur 18 now. just do wat u want to do. dont listen to ur parents. they cant do anything about it because ur 18
2007-08-19 15:16:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋