My fiancee's mother is the most meddlesome and annoying person on the face of this planet. She calls him 6 to 7 times a day(they live together, he helps her pay bills) and when I was staying there on vacation, she called me just as much. Have you ever heard of a son who yells and screams at his mother and tells her to mind her own business, stay of his affairs, to let him go, leave him alone, yet she still does what she wants? LOL, it is absolutely amazing to me. I've seen him yell and scream at her, demanding his privacy and respect, since being nice never works, and yet the very next hour..she is back to meddling again? She is always in his and my business. He and I are getting married next year and I am moving to be near him. She refuses to let him go and is constantly trying to control him and me. We don't rely on her or need her at all, she can barely do for herself. I'm not going to be able to deal with this as a married couple.
2007-08-19 07:26:12 · 11 answers · asked by brittneyafoster 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
1) Why does she not respect his wishes or listen to him when he asks for his privacy? She doesn't do that to his brother, she knows better. Yet he asks over and over, but she never listens.
2) How do he and I stop her as a our problem guest in our home before she becomes a real problem? I can't deal with her being in my face or my house trying to tell me what to do every week. I'm nice out of respect, but I can't stand her. What do we do?
2007-08-19 07:27:54 · update #1
Sadly, she appears to be in the classification as a (future) "Mother-in-Law from Hell" Should you marry, my advice would be to move as far away as possible, have your phone number Ex-Directory and communicate by post. If not, she will get much worse and will start interfering in your married life. The day will come when you give your husband the choice, as he will take mammy's side to everything, over yours. Even when he knows that mammy is in the wrong, she will still get his support. You will give him the old,"it's me or her" ultimatum and he will leave you for her. You need to take control and start planning to move asap after, if not before, your wedding. Good Luck!
2007-08-19 07:38:57 · answer #1 · answered by kendavi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definately gotta be careful with this one. Even though you witness him yelling at her & telling her to mind her business, you shouln't do this. He may see it as disrespectful & turn on you. Trust me, I've been married once before & had this same damn problem. And in the current relationship I'm in, I have this same problem again. I'm still surprised that I haven't pulled my hair out going crazy over it. But, is she really causing any harm or is she just merely a nuisance? If she's just a nuisance, learn to laugh it off & get some amusement out of it. But if she's anything like my first mother-in-law...whoa...watch your back girl!! I'd say let him handle it. She's his mother anyway. But he needs to stand his ground & be consistent. Maybe that's why she knows better than to bother the other brother. None of that yo-yo crap that'll confuse her & have her thinking that he really doesn't mean it when he tells her to mind her business. But maybe she does this because he still lives with her?
2007-08-19 07:39:10 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't stop her meddling. Only your guy can do that and he's not been successful so far so there is zero (make that ZERO) chance that he'll stop the meddling anytime. Truthfully? I would bet my next to last dollar that he'll end up yelling and screaming at you, so you're not only going to have to deal with her meddling and his screaming at her but his at you. Do some very hard thinking. Marriage never solved a single problem so far as I'm aware.
2007-08-19 07:38:47 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was single, I was far too shy to do the approaching MOST of the time, unless the guy LOOKED interested but was even more shy than I was... But I ain't single and haven't been since I was 20 years old.
2016-05-17 08:32:18 · answer #4 · answered by gisele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he her only son? If not, is he the only one who speaks with his mother? Mothers are often afraid of losing their children. Sometimes the best thing to do is just ignore it. If she calls so many times a day, just ignore them, or answer the phone and politely tell her that you're busy, but you'll call her later. When she asks questions, you don't ever have to answer. Yes, she'll try to meddle and get into your personal things, but the best defence is to just not let her.
2007-08-19 07:35:27 · answer #5 · answered by Hrist V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't tell you how to stop her. You are the only person you can control. You can use "I" statements to tell her how you feel. Like I feel uncomfortable when you tell me what to do. You can tell her you will not talk to her if all she wants to do is run your life. After all you are an adult. If your b/f does not like how you handle his mother, you may want to re-think the marriage thing, because you are marrying her too. I think if you stand up for yourself, gently of course, you will find her easier to get along with. Just state what you don't like, making sure to use "I" statements. You can also set limits. I do not have time to talk right now...etc. Just do it with kid gloves so your b/f doesn't feel you are attacking either of them. But you must stand up for yourself or they will run you right over until you feel like you no longer have any rights. I know, I've been there. But I didn't have the info I've shared with you until too late. I hope it works for you.
Blessed Be
2007-08-23 04:16:26 · answer #6 · answered by Linda B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh man Mama's boy! He tells her to stop but he keeps allowing it....mixed signals!! I would run for the hills from that guy! Also, the way a man treats his Mom is a great indication of how he'll treat his wife. Oh and if you have her grandchildren....she will be all in your business even more. I'd be worried too if I were you!
2007-08-19 07:41:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow- I feel bad for you. If this does not STOP, it will be something you will be dealing with for the rest of your lives. Have you tried to sit down and talk to her? If I were you guys, i would sit down and tell her that if she doesn't stop meddeling in your lives then you will be forced to not allow her to be part of your lives. You have to stop her now before your feeling this way in 5 years!
Does she have any real emotional issues? It really sounds like she may.
2007-08-19 07:32:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you want your marriage to survive she will not be able to stay in your house.
she has already proved she won't stay out of your fiances business or yours.
if she can't survive on her own there are homes for people like that.
no way would i allow my mil to stay at our house even if it was for a few days.
you should get this worked out before you get married, because if he isn't willing to do somthing and move her out then your marriage won't work anyways
2007-08-19 07:34:09 · answer #9 · answered by 3 girls call me mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're crazy if you marry into this nuthouse of a family
2007-08-19 07:31:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋