Aside from his mother refusing to let go of her 29 year old son who is ready to get married and start a family with me, he and I have major issues with his mother. I am more than respectful to her and nice and haven't spoken my mind and for his sake, I doubt that I ever will. However, he is Puerto Rican and Sicilian. I am biracial mixed with Black, Asian, and Indian. When we start living together as a married couple though, I would love to prepare the meals that he loves so much by her. I have called and even when I was with her, I asked her 4 times for several recipes of Puerto Rican food(recipes her mother in law gave to her) and Italian recipes from her family. I have yet to get them. I am determined to prepare authentic meals for my fiancee, but I dont understand 1) Why she is refusing to give them to me?
2007-08-19 07:07:03 · 8 answers · asked by brittneyafoster 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, he wants to me away from her and the rest of his insane family, but for the first 3 years of marriage...we'll be living near her..:(
2007-08-19 07:17:26 · update #1
Yes, but how selfish is she? She married a Puerto Rican man, and his mother happily gave her the recipes and taught her how to cook them as well and she married her favorite son. So, it's no shocking news, that his mother is selfish, that is common knowledge amongst those who know her, but why is she being this way to me? She's not even Puerto Rican, HOW DARE SHE TRY TO KEEP THE RECIPES?
2007-08-19 07:30:17 · update #2
Cause then she will not have the food to fix for him that he likes. Look the recipes up on line or buy a cook book. This will not be your only problem with you mil. You are going to have to just be as kind as you can and try to stay out of her way. She is his mother and if you can't move away from her then you have to live with how she is. I hope that your hubby is standing behind you.
2007-08-19 07:13:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like your mother-in-law wants to be sure your husband comes over once inawhile at her place to eat. She might be feeling a little competitive with you though. In the meantime, do as your husband says. Stay away from his mother and the rest of his insane family. He's telling you something. Don't worry about her recipes. Cook and prepare your own meals and be creative the way YOU want to be. It's you and him. Pay attention to him...not her.
My mother-in-law carefully guarded her family recipes with me too. Italian spaghetti sauce that I thought was her recipe, was really from a jar of Prego.
Good luck. I've been married a long 26 years.
2007-08-19 16:47:46 · answer #2 · answered by hillaryc59bc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh, you have a large task your trying to complete, Sicilians are known to be heard heads and very stubborn.
They will also always bring food to your home when you invite them for dinner. I married a southern Italian and it took years of marriage before my mother in law shared her recipes with me.
Try this tactic, get your fiance to ask her for her recipes and he can say that he wants to learn them to carry on the family traditions in his new family. She will be so flattered she will not only give them to him she will teach him to cook them.
Once he gets them you can make them and as he grew up eating them he can tell you how close it is to his moms.
But a word of warning, he will always love his moms more then yours because he is use to it, even if yours is better. No two cooks cook alike so don't let it bother you.
Good Luck and congrats on your upcoming nuptials!
2007-08-19 14:21:06 · answer #3 · answered by unknown friend 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because that is one thing that she can give him and you can't - unless she gives it to you. If he loves her cooking, he will want to go there more. If you can provide, love, sex, companionship AND his favorite food, what is there that she can offer??
Take it from someone who's marrige was broken by a mother in law just like yours.... It will get a lot tougher after the marriage. Before you jump into this, how does he handle her? Is he a momma's boy or does he stand up to her?
Look, I know this hurts. She gave recepies to other person and not you is because she if playing favorite. Mine did it all the time... What sux is that by doing that MIL is also making a drift between you and that that other woman. Screw her, find your own recepies :) Your hubby might like those even more :)
2007-08-19 14:16:39 · answer #4 · answered by Centered 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She wants to be the one that can make these dishes for her boy. Sounds like she feels threat end by you. Go on line and find the recipes yourself you might even be able to put your own twist on it and improve it. Have a taste test night with your hubby and leave her be. Good luck and remember the less drama the better marriage you will have.
2007-08-22 15:22:30 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think there is a deeper meaning as to why she wont give you the recipies. what i mean is its one thing that she has and you dont. for example, she is able to cook these meals for her son and you arent able to. some mothers dont know how to let go of thier sons; once the wedding is over hopefully things will calm down for you. everyone says that being engaged is the best time of you life; personally i think its the most stressful, and i dont know how i got thru it. just hang in there and keep asking for those recipies. good luck; i hope everything works out for you!
2007-08-19 14:19:49 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the fact is she has them and won't give them to you.
Try looking up online some other ones, ask him what he likes and try to find recipes from some of his other family members.
try to find out her mother in laws number and call her to get the recipes.
forget your mother in law there is no changing her or trying to understand why she acts that way. believe me mine has been like that forever we don't even talk to her anymore.
good luck and hope you find them
2007-08-19 14:48:13 · answer #7 · answered by 3 girls call me mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is the interent and you can look for some here in this thing. shes just not happy person maybe and that is what you have to expect hes already told you about her. and i guess best thing to do is stay away from her. just try to find dishes thought the net and learn them its sad but there are many people like that
2007-08-22 22:59:45 · answer #8 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋