Memorial dance at wedding?

Question

My mom past away 7 years ago. My fiance's dad past away almost 2 years ago his mother little less then a year ago. should we chose one song as a memorial to all of them. A special song for each of them through the recpition? What can we do besides just a song to show a loving memorial to all of them?

Answer 1

My parents passed away shortly before my wedding. I had the usher leave two empty seats in the pew where my parents would have been.

Then at the reception I had Natalie Cole's (and her father Nat King Cole's) duet "Unforgettable". It was really sweet. I didn't want to cry that day, and that was my dad's favorite song when he passed on. So it felt like they were there with me.

Good luck picking, it's something you'll remember forever.

Answer 2

In stead of doing a dance or song at the reception which would really dampen the mood, here's what we did.

During the ceremony, we lit a candle in my husband's mom's memory. Tell the preist that you want to do something like that and they can help work it in to the ceremony depending on your religion and the flow of the ceremony. We had a table with her picture, took a white rose over and lit a candle and just had a moment of silence.

Then at the reception, we just had a table with the same candle, picture and a basket of flowers.

I think the ceremony is a better place to honor the memory due to the more *serious* nature of the ceremony.

The recpetion is for celebrating your new life as a married couple. You want that to be more upbeat. And I am sure your parents would want the same thing for you.

Also, the reception goes by so FAST. You want it to be as much fun for your guests and yourselves as possible.

Answer 3

Keep it subtle...not obvious like a memorial dance. Doing so is going to get people depressed and ruin the mood that I'm sure these people would have wanted for your wedding.

Go ahead and play a song that they each liked but don't announce "this is dead person X fav. song". The people who knew them will know.

We have big hurricanes on a remembrance table in a corner. In each one is a candle and items that remind us of that person, like HTB's grandfather was a handyman so we have nuts/bolts, a level, etc.

Mention them in the programs.

Have an empty seat with a signle flower in it for them at the ceremony...

Things like that where they are honored but people don't spend your wedding upset.

Answer 4

I would pick just one song for all of them. I don't have any suggestions... but a wedding isn't supposed to be a sad memorial - it's supposed to be a happy day! Doing a separate song for each one could easily make your guests sad and upset and they'll be dwelling on the losses instead of on the new families being formed. Do one song as a memorial to those who are unable to be there with you on your special day.

Answer 5

I wouldn't suggest you to dedicate a special song for each one of them. It is your wedding day and it shouldn't be a sad occasion. You can play one song for all of those who passed away. No more than one song. Do a short speech about it and then move on. You don't want to change the mood from happy to sad.

Answer 6

I would maybe have the dj announce that no one is to dance to the following song as a memory to the parents that can not be physically present today. If you want to have a little table with their pictures that would be nice, or a little psalm in your programs with their names. But I wouldn't go overboard. It is supposed to be a happy day about the future and all 3 of those people would want you to keep it that way.

Answer 7

Save each of them a seat. At the ceremony save three seats up front and put there pictures on them. You can do the same at the reception. At the family table or where they would have been sitting if they were here today place the picture that was in there seat at the ceremony on the table where they would have been seated.

Answer 8

I'm sorry for your losses.

To my mind, the best way at a wedding to remember those who have passed is in some subtle way that will stand out to those who knew the loved ones, but not turn the day into a memorial service to those who didn't know them.

You could walk down the aisle to your mother's favorite song or hymn, have an appropriate poem one of them loved used as a part of the ceremony, carry something of your mother's in your bouquet, base the decorations around his mother's favorite color, serve a food one of them was known to particularly like, use a combination of their favorite flowers in your bouquet...nearly anything you like.

My dear mother died a couple years before I married. On my wedding day, I chose to wear her brooch and her tartan arisade on my gown. My father made her famous potato salad recipe as part of the buffet. I was also married with her wedding ring. For the few people who hadn't known her, these were just part of the day and part of the festivities. To those who did know her, they were recognized as a tribute and my way of saying her influence on my life continues on after her death.

I honestly think my mother would have approved that approach. She was all for making happy ocassions happy and accentuating the positive in life. I know she wouldn't have wanted me to leave an empty chair for her or have a photograph of her sitting behind a candle to tell everyone she was gone. She would have figured everyone who cared already knew she wasn't there in body, and she'd prefer them to think how happy she would have been for me and my husband rather than how sad it was she wasn't there.

Answer 9

Most people do a Memorial Candle. Get a pillar candle and have it burning during the ceremony and the reception. Put a 5x7 framed picture of each of them next to the candle.

Answer 10

You can do whatever you feel is appropriate for both of you. It is your wedding! One reception I was at, the bride and groom both talked a little about each person they wanted to remember and then presented a rose to another member (spouse, sibling, children, ect) that was close to that person. You could also mention them in the actual ceremony, or put a memorial in the wedding program. Hope this helps!