First of all, I already know the answer, but I don't feel I am capable of it. The answer of course is not to be afraid and go on the attack. In other words, I need to be the alpha male. But knowing something intellectually and being able to do it are two very different things.
How do I rise above the shyness and the anxiety?
2007-08-19 06:29:52 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I understand you, totally. The fact is, if you learn to be your self and confident, is the best strategy. Trying hard to get involve with girls never been my favourite, despite that, it's too obvious and one will eventually fails.
2007-08-19 06:53:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were confined to the wilderness but had an aversion to hunting, that aversion would last until starvation overtook your sensibilities...you would then either hunt or perish. Similarly, shyness is a crutch upon which you hang your reluctance to pursue that which you clearly want. When the pain of doing without exceeds the comfort of your familiar shyness, you will hunt...awkwardly at first perhaps, but your skills will grow exponentially as you become familiar with the process and your prey. (Intellect is only the tip of a very massive ice berg). I wouldn't worry about things too much. You are more capable than you now realize, and time will compel you to discover that for yourself. Enjoy the journey.
2007-08-19 06:45:33 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's not a case of 'not being afraid and going on the attack' when it comes to females.
it's a case of simply 'not being afraid' in general, in every aspect of life
I used to be incredibly shy, but one day I got sick of being that 'nice boy' and decided that everybody and anybody I talk to, I would talk to in the same way I talk to people I've known for years and am comfortable with, after all everybody is only human.
Everything I feel, everything you feel, EVERYBODY feels it, EVERYBODY! it's just that some people are better at 'ignoring' some feelings than others.
looking back, I think that chatting online helped me a lot. I spoke the way I wanted to speak, simple as that. I don't mean I was rude or anything, I mean when talking to girls, where I would get shy in real life, I was able to talk to them online because they weren't actually there in front of me, that made it harder to get embarrassed, so if I wanted to answer with a joke or whatever, I would just do it, things like that....
Hope this helps.
It's 'easy' to break through the shyness, it just takes practice and determination
2007-08-19 06:48:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To rise above shyness you need to feel more confident in yourself. Make a list of reasons why someone would want to date you and keep it in mind whenever you feel shy. And remember that the worst thing that can possibly happen when flirting with someone is that they'll reject you - and it's not as bad as we make it out to be in our minds. It's just a rejection, not the end of the world. I'm shy too, so I sympathise with you on this, but once you get started talking to people and flirting a little, it's not as hard as we think it'll be.
2007-08-19 06:36:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never really liked the "attack" model. I was always a big fan of the friend first way to go. Once you've established that you're comfortable talking, move it up a notch by suggesting somewhere nicer and more blatantly romantic to see how she reacts.... ie you hang out at the coffee place all the time, then suggest, "Hey, why don't we go to La Fancy Smancy French Restaurant, my treat?"
2007-08-19 06:42:44 · answer #5 · answered by kr1spy2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey T.... I love your response to his question! That makes so much sense. I'm shy too. I have friends that tell me how good a person I am, how i'd be a great husband, and nieces and nephews and other people's kids that tell me I'd be a great father, etc. We shy people really need to sell ourselves more, and the worse someone can do is reject you. I can't count the number of times I've left a club, or church or other social function, wanting to talk to some woman and not doing it, and feeling angry with myself for not making the approach!
2007-08-27 03:07:20 · answer #6 · answered by Ouadim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound exactly like how i used to be! if you have a friend whos female and you really like her take her to the movies(just the two of you) and do fun stuff together. its all about just going on impulse, when you think the time is right go for it, its not like you have anything to lose.
2007-08-26 18:57:26 · answer #7 · answered by HurtAndConfused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all about confidence. Women are naturally drawn to a man who exudes confidence. Not everyone has confidence but everyone is capable of it.
2007-08-19 06:39:18 · answer #8 · answered by Dollface Capone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really just have to find it in yourself to do it, there is no real suggestions that anyone can give you and there is no right answer. you really just have to know that you have nothing to lose and just go for it.
2007-08-27 03:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go ahead and approach a chick dude. dont be afraid of rejections i think everyone has experienced that.
2007-08-19 06:35:27 · answer #10 · answered by 123mantobeat456 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋