Whats the best and easiest way to break it to my parents I dont believe in god?

Question

I am 16 and have never believed in God or Jesus or any of that junk. I have been going to church all my life and I just dont believe. I need to save up money for college since my parents dont have much and want to work on sundays to help do this instead of wasting my time in a silly church. Does anyone have advice that would make it easier to tell my parents that I dont believe? They are really religious.

Answer 1

"I think you should pray, and ask God to help you out"

Why? Didn't you bother to read the question, particularly, this part:

"I am 16 and have never believed in God or Jesus or any of that junk."

8-\

Answer 2

I had to tell my parents and they are extreem fundamentalist Christians. I was raised going to church 3 times a week and in a Christian school from preschool until I graduated high school.

For an extreem believer there is no way to break it to them gently, they either panic thinking they have to "save" you or think you are being opressed by Satan. Your parents may not be as extreem but this is the norm.

The best thing to do is to go to them, be very serious and ask them if they love you. To which "I hope" they would respond yes. Say that you love them as well and that they have taught you what unconditional love is all about. Explain that you have learned that unconditional love means that you can have different beliefs, different personalities, hopes, dreams and aspirations and you can totally and completely love and accept the other person.

Tell them that you don't believe, at this point they will probably want to "save" you or prove that you are wrong. You should listen to what they have to say first. Then explain that you understand they think you are wrong but you have to have your own faith, it can't be forced upon you because that is not a personal relationship with God.

I would add that if God exists he will find a way to bring you back. Adding anything religious like that will help because that is how they think and what they understand.

Answer 3

Hmmm...tough question. The best thing ALWAYS is to sit down and talk to them. But before you do that, ask yourself some fundamental questions: WHY don't you believe there is a God? Do you feel uncomfortable in church, and why? What are YOUR beliefs?

Arm yourself with as much truthful information as possible before sitting down with them. Bear in mind that when it comes to religion and politics, more than anything else, people get very passionate and sometimes reason can go right out the window. Let them know they haven't failed as parents because you don't believe, and let them know that perhaps as you get older you might see things differently. Many people who are athiests or agnostics change their views because of something that happened to them or someone else.

Approach cautiously, KEEP AN OPEN MIND, both to yourself and others, and be ready for a possibly explosiv e situation. Hopefully your parents will understand that many teens divert from what they grew up with, and that's ok, because a parent can only hold your hand so long before they have to let go and let you fly on your own. You may crash a few times but you WILL get back on you feet, fly, and find your way.

And that is my hope for you: that you find what you believe in and find your own way.

Answer 4

It is better to just tell them. I am a very avid christian. My daughter and I have open communication. She is not sure how she believes. I love her very much and I want her to go to heaven, but I cannot make her believe. That is a choice she has to make. If I were them, I would want to know how you really feel. It will help them understand. Depending on their beliefs, they very well may not back down. But if they are truly christian, they will respect the fact that it is where you stand on the choice God gave you. Tell them you do not want to hurt their feelings and that you understand that they are your parents and responsible for you, but that you need to be honest with them on how you feel. They will find out in two years anyway when you move out and stop going to church.

Maybe this wont be comforting to you now, but maybe it will be in the future: I will pray for you in your situation and for your salvation. As far as your salvation, what is the harm in knowing for sure? Put a fleece out for God. Make sure you know there is no God before you make a big mistake. This is the one thing in this life you do NOT want to be wrong about. If you are not sure how to do this, contact me. I will help.

Answer 5

They probably won't want to hear it. You can either tell them and face the consequences, or don't tell them but say that you are deciding not to go to church any more. I told my parents when I was around your age, and they kept bugging me to go to church for years. It was hard to live with them sometimes! If you really like your parents and things are good, besides this, you might not want to reveal your atheism until you move out.

Answer 6

Good luck. Stress how much you respect their beliefs, without going into details; on no account talk about it as you have here, as silly etc, I agree it is, but that would not help.
Tell them that maybe this is what Jesus/God intends for you, and that if you come back to the faith, it will be all the stronger for your previous doubt..
Remind them of the story of the prodigal son, for example.
Try and make it fit in with their beliefs, without compromising your own.
Easier said than done at 16, I know, I used to be 16.

Answer 7

just tell them , I'm starting to pray until I get my exams pass with all "A"s and

keeep reading the bible from morning to evening until they go mad.

sorry ...wrong answer - discuss this paragraph with your parents..

The Bible, Qur'an, and other classical documents are full of contradictions and factual errors. They were written by human beings in ancient civilizations, expressing the scientific and moral speculations of their day. They do not convey the eternal word of God, but rather the yearnings of ancient tribes based on oral legends and received doctrines; as such, they are hardly relevant to all cultures and times. The Old and New Testaments are not accurate accounts of historical events. The reliability of the Old Testament is highly questionable in the events and personages it depicts; Moses, Abraham, Joseph, etc. are largely uncorroborated by historical evidence. As for the New Testament, scholarship has shown that none of its authors knew Jesus directly. The four Gospels were not written by eyewitnesses but are products of oral tradition and hearsay. There is but flimsy and contradictory evidence for the virgin birth, the healings of Jesus, and the Resurrection. Similarly, contrary to Muslim claims that that religion's scriptures passed virtually unmediated from Allah, there have in fact been several versions of the Qur'an; it is no less a product of oral traditions than the Bible. Likewise, the provenance of the Hadith, allegedly passed down by Muhammad's companions, has not been independently confirmed by reliable historical research
I realize that liberal religionists generally have rejected the absolutist creeds of fundamentalism. Fortunately, they have been influenced by modern democratic and humanistic values, which mitigate fundamentalism's inherent intolerance. Nevertheless, even many liberal believers embrace a key article of faith in the three major Abrahamic religions, Christianity, Islam, and Judaism: the promise of eternal salvation.

Answer 8

Boy, are they going to be surprised!
You can sit with them.Tell them what your beliefs are but without disrespecting them or the religion/God.Like, in your question you said "...any of that junk...", "....silly church...". Try to not say things like that, because you want them to understand not to get angry.And, if they get angry they can sort of MAKE you go.They're not going to be pleased, but at least they'll know your side.Instead of them believing in God, without knowing the real truth.Good luck to you!

Answer 9

Sit them down when they're not in a bad mood and tell them. Tell them that you're amost an adult and that the choice to believe in their belief is up to u. If they oppose u, tell them that if they really loved u, then they'd understand your decision.

Answer 10

If they are very religious they probably wont listen to you.

I would be totally honest with them...layout your goals, be rational and get your thoughts together before you break it to them. Sit down when your'e alone and play it out and imagine their responses...and think of answers to those responses.

If you seem confident in your decision and dont seem like your stumbling for answers it will be harder for them to dismiss what you say as being just a phase or something similar. If all fails don't get mad....in 2 years you will be free.

Good luck!