My future Mother in Law is wearing a black tea length dress with like white/black chiffon on the top and the oversized sleeves. Now we have a great relationship, I already call her mom since my fiance and I have been together for 8 1/2 years and are getting married next Saturday!! YAY : ) But she told some of the ladies that she works with what she was wearing and they all told her that she should ask me what I think of it, cuz they assumed I would have a big problem with it. I don't have ANY problem with her wearing that, actually I love the dress and it's so cute on her and encourage her to wear it. I was just wondering what you guys think of this and how would you react if they showed up in black on your wedding day? Have a Great Day!! Thanks : )
2007-08-19 04:09:34 · 30 answers · asked by PennyLane 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I didn't really have a question just wanted to know what you would think and do if your Mother or MIL to be wore black at YOUR wedding. I know she's not wearing it to doom our marriage or anything like that. I want her to wear it also as it would look really nice in the pictures with my mom's dress too! and I'm not worrying or stressing about it at all, everyone will know what a great relationship we have between us when they see us interacting at the wedding! All of the stressing stuff is done and over with for now so I'm just sitting back, taking it easy and counting down the days, hours, and minutes! Que Sera, Sera LOL But thanks to all opinions already : )
2007-08-19 05:58:08 · update #1
I think you did the right thing 100%
I know some people who would make a big deal out of something like this and strain a relationship, but it's just a dress. As long as she is there to support your wedding, be happy. I'm glad you were so mature about this situation.
Congradulations on your wedding!
2007-08-19 05:00:27 · answer #1 · answered by az 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grooms wear black because men have conservative taste in clothes, and don't want to wear anything too radically different from what they wear every day. Also, in the West anyway, black is the color of power and authority. [!] Maybe this is to balance out the fact that the wedding ceremony is the Bride's domain. I like to see a groom in colors other than black; it looks great. But black is okay too.
2016-05-17 07:30:16 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Black is an elegant color and besides it has a white top. If your mom in law loves the dress and you don't mind she should wear it! Not wearing black to a wedding is a very old-fashioned idea and it will be evident from the interaction between the two of you that you like each other and she's happy about the marriage. It's very generous hearted of you to want her to look her very best in whatever dress she prefers and I think that's much more important and in keeping with a joyous occasion then following some outdated and meaningless etiquette rule. (I'll be having a formal evening wedding in a glamorous hotel next summer and will think it perfectly appropriate if ladies choose to show up in black dresses! They'll look fab and we'll all be happy :)
2007-08-19 04:33:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have a problem with it at all, and since you don't, definately let her know that.
Many people feel that wearing black is more fitting for a funeral than a wedding, and that it implies that you are against the marriage or do not see it going far if you wear black to it. It sounds to me like the expression on her face would put those worries to rest, so any of your guests who are so pedantic as to judge her based on the color of her clothes instead of the look of happiness on her face would never "get it" anyway and should be considered ignorant fools. :-)
If your mother-in-law encounters anyone else who expresses doubt over her choice of clothing, tell her to tell them that not all that long ago (maybe in the last 100 years), many women wore black on their own wedding day. Or blue, pink, brown, etc.... they had one nice dress, and that's what they wore, and white was not practical. If the bride wore black, it certainly didn't say anything bad about any guests wearing it.
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, and on having such a great relationship with your mother-in-law. :-)
2007-08-19 04:29:43 · answer #4 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're fine with what the moms are wearing, then it's nobody else's beeswax. Above all, she should feel beautiful in what she is wearing, and if you think she looks cute in it, then that should settle the question once and for all. Also - it's a black AND WHITE dress -- no one is going to mistake it for a funeral dress or her trying to weirdly compete with you.
If you and mom-in-law want to shut even the naysayers up, you can arrange to get her a lovely corsage (she can either pin it to the dress, wear it on her wrist, or pin it to her purse) with some colored flowers that coordinate with your bridesmaid's dresses and flowers. Or get her a mini bouquet/nosegay to hold for pictures - again, with color. That will add a little dash of color and break up the drama of the black and white dress.
You're so blessed to have a great MIL (I do, too!). Your sweet, solid relationship with her makes your question a no-brainer. Good luck with your wedding planning!
2007-08-19 05:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is truly living in the dark ages. Brides can do whatever they like these days, and so can bridesmaids and the rest of your party. It kills me how people make a negative comment and can hurt other people's feelings. Your MIL coworkers probably meant well, but enjoy your wedding. My sister's wedding, her MIL and mother's MIL both had black gowns and they looked wonderful. (married for 15 years)
It doesn't matter, her dress sounds gorgeous. It reminds me of one of those Halston dresses that princes Di wore. My husband didn't wear a tuxedo, but a black suit with a tie. Enjoy.
2007-08-19 04:59:47 · answer #6 · answered by Lyla 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not care. I'm not that much of a dictator. Let people do what they want...I wouldn't even care if anyone wore a white dress. Stuff like that makes no difference to me at all.
I went to a wedding a few weeks ago, and probably 90% of the women in the room had on some kind of black dress!
2007-08-19 04:39:04 · answer #7 · answered by melouofs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Black is usually the colour associated with mourning, so it's often considered in poor taste for a mother to wear to a child's wedding, as it could imply that they are objecting to the union.
I'm just not a fan of wearing black in general, but both of my mothers chose colors from the blue scheme for ours so it was never an issue.
However, when it really comes down to it, if YOU are comfortable with it as the bride, then there really isn't any problem now, is there? And actions speak louder than anything else - if it is obvious that you guys get along splendidly, who frankly cares what colour she's wearing?
2007-08-19 10:27:38 · answer #8 · answered by yourmomgoestocollege 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it doesn't bother you, than it sounds good to me!
I am going to be in a wedding next year where the bridesmaids are wearing black.
Some people consider it to be a bad omen or that the person wearing black is dooming the bride and groom because black is worn to funerals.
But so long as you don't see it that way, don't worry about what other people think.
2007-08-19 04:41:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My bridesmaids are in black, so I guess you know my opinion :)
I think that there is a movement away from the "standard" wedding colors of pastels, as more people incorporate bolder colors into their wedding scheme: black, brown, dark green, etc.
I you love the dress, and you love her, there will not be a problem. If SHE feels uncomfortable, what about pairing the dress with a colorful scarf or other accessory? Enjoy!
2007-08-19 04:59:02 · answer #10 · answered by dma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋