Friend just stopped talking to me when he found out he was going to jail, why?

Question

My friend whom I love is going to jail..help me?
I'm in love with this guy who has been my best friend on and off since the 8th grade....

we starting getting involved only last summer and up until 2 months ago everything was great then he got arrested and since he's already got a lot of problems, DUIs and volation of probation from this last arrest hes going to jail for quit sometime..he is currently out on bond waiting to be sentenced The problem is that the night that he got arrested he called me the next day told me what happend then he has quit calling, hanging out, and talking to me period. What's going on here? Also he's been doing drugs and have lots of little flings with like every women I know. Its like he went wild. Is this normal? He's a man whore druggie now awaiting jail time. But I'm still in love with him..what do I do. Its like he wants nothing to do with me and wont even take the time to give me an reason.

Answer 1

he's problem ashamed and embarrassed.. and doesn't want to face you.. and probably has a LOT on his mind right now.. wouldn't you? as far as doing the drugs and women.. he's probably thinking whats he got to lose by doing all that.. he's going to jail for a long time anyway... once he's in jail and no drugs and women .. trust me you'll get those 10.00 collect calls and all that jail mail with those pictures drawn on the envelopes

Answer 2

First let me tell you, he is no good. I am sure you are better than that, why would you want someone in your life that will never be able to support you. He will only bring you down. Are you really willing to be with someone that will be in and out of jail your whole life, that you will have to send money too, to support, that you will have to bail out and end up loosing money, that will take your money for drugs and be high all the time, what about the phone bills you will have to pay...come on now hes not worth it....and he propbably stopped talking to you cus he doesn't want to hurt you, or personally I think doesn't really care about you...he's probably getting as high as he can before he gets locked up....run away, and don't look back

Answer 3

hey, theres no reason for u to stop loving him. a lot of ppl will tell u to stay away from him, but u cant really stop love can u?? & besides, everyone is not perfect. ppl do things from time to time. sometimes u gota go with ur instincts. u gota decide urself if hes good for u. i dun really know many ppl who go to jail & stuff so i cant really tell u the reason y he stopped talkin to u. the possible reason that i can think is, that he might want to keep u safe. he might feel that u wont talk to him. he might be shy or he doesnt want to hurt u, or hes tryna take his mind of u so he wont miss u as much when he is in jail(mayb thats y he had a lot of flings as u mension).give him his space. if hes in jail for a looong time, then go visit him a little bit l8r & tell him y u didnt visit earlier. i dun really know, im just guessing & remember this is my opinion. maybe he will talk to u. maybe he will c that u care about him & u came to c him. Good luck!! I really hope things work out for u!!

Answer 4

Forget it...you were foolish to get involved with him.
The reason he stopped calling is irrelevant. Even if he's getting clean and straightening up his act.. (which would be the best scenario) he wouldn't want people from before with him........and if he's just continuing to be a druggie-player.. (worst scenario) than it's really bad for you.
You may need to look in the mirror if that was the type of person that you're hanging with.

Answer 5

Lady, please! It's not like he's going away forever, but you can definitely use some time apart to put things into perspective. He's having flings, doing drugs, geting drunk and driving, and THIS is who you're trying to hold onto? He will drag you through the mud if you don't wake up, and I mean like yesterday. There have to be more suitable guys out there for you to date. Find one of them that you can have a future with. This guy isn't going anywhere, and he's more than happy to take you along with him.

Oh, yeah...thanks to the Georgiablondie for reminding me: Don't be accepting any damned collect calls from jail. They're too expensive anyway.

Answer 6

He's doing you the biggest favor, really. My BFF since we were 12 has gotten into alot of trouble. DUI's bad relationships leading into legal issues involving meth, the list goes on and on. We have this unspoken understanding that when her life is going in that direction, she stays away or leaves alot of her life out of our conversations. When she is in need of me or i of her we are there for each other. I never say i told you so or judge her in any way. I have visited her in jail visited her in the hospital when she's had babies. We have both been to divorce court with each other..... as you can see, we are there for each other when needed. You can still be friends for life, but either can choose to bow out during the hard times. Call it self preservation or whatever you will.
He also might feel that he has let you down and has nothing to offer. Just cause your not there right now doesn't mean you wont be later. Maybe he just needs to grow up and knows it would bring you down to have you involved right now.

Answer 7

You should think God that he chooses to be this way instead of asking you to wait for him and waste your youth with him. Trust me, you can't rescue a man. What about all the other flings he has, the drug use, do you ever think that this kind of lifestyle is a sure way to AIDS? Move on with your life girl, you'll find someone else to love pretty soon, if you don't, you'll end up just like him...a junkie.

Answer 8

Why on earth do you want to be with someone like that?
God!
How do you expect ust o help you? 9/10 people here will give you the advice to leave and forget him, yet you wont. Thats the only advice i can give you. Forget him. Move on. Find a guy (like me) who wouldnt know the first thing about using drugs or going to jail.
FORGET HIM MOVE ON.

Answer 9

I think this would be a good time to re-evaluate how and why you feel about him the way you do. Having the hots for a bad boy is a long road to many many avoidable HEADACHES!!! It seems like he is trying to not put you in the path of his destructiveness. You may love him a whole lot....but he is not ready to love anyone right now.

Answer 10

quite, tests have shown that occupation criminals have an more advantageous point of testosterone, which, it ought to be argued, makes them "greater of a guy". I happen to be married to a fifty seven 12 months previous impotent diabetic who wears relies upon and makes use of a walker so he won't lose his stability and give way. he's greater of a guy than any of the dope fiend losers I used as much as now while i became a training alcoholic. a guy is somebody who's there for his enjoyed ones, whether that's inconvenient, and takes accountability for his movements.