custodial parent and lack of enforcement?

Question

i am a single dad, trying to get my ex to help with the support of the two children, during the last year, i have had to write certain unsavory letters to the support unit and to complain to as many state agencies as possible, well , enforcement worked, she went to jail once again for not paying, even had money for the kids. but now the state of colorado want to close mycase because they say i am uncooperative, and in order to,proceed to the next level, i should be more. i think it is alot os bss. a simple way out since . obvisily someone in that office was stung in the butt by a higher up. should i just let go, should i stay the fight , as i have been,i have nevr threatened anyone, i did make comments as such, that you are inept, get a job you can handle, and just give me the same treatment as a female would have in this situation, any input will be great. anyone want to help file legal action for my children. have to ask

Answer 1

Mouthing off at the bureaucrats that you need to get your case handled was not a wise idea.

You may need to get a lawyer to help you now since you put your foot in your mouth.

Answer 2

I certainly feel for your situation and think you should continue to expect your mother's children to help support them. You do however need to find a way to stop interfering with this happening by behaving the way you have. Your inappropriate behavior does not in any way make someone want to go above and beyond to help you. I think your a bit over-reactive about the male/female thing and your perception of how this is effecting your experience in the system. I don't think that you have any way to really decipher whether this is true or not or the experiences women have in the same system. If your being insulting and aggressive towards the employees they are going to have a problems convincing anyone to want to work with you and they will see you as generally uncooperative. You have to be a bit realistic, this is a government run system, things work on another level of slowness and incompetency and they are not held accountable because they're civil servants and generally not in charge of policies. Sometimes in life to get the things you need/want you've got to do what it takes, even if it means keeping your mouth shut and doing what you've been asked.

Answer 3

As a woman, I think that you are not getting fare treatment. However, I suggest that you get a lawyer who can help you fight that battle. You are doing the right thing be mailing letters to state agencies letting them know of your current situation. If all else fails, petition the court to have her give up her parental rights. I am going through this with my ex. He hasn't seen his kids in a year. I have no idea where he is and the courts can't find him either. I have petitioned the courts for abandonment. It may be the best thing for you to do. Good luck!

Answer 4

No one wants to be told they are inept by someone not in control of themselves. Part of parenting is controling your emotions and being assertive not aggressive. You aren't teaching your kids anything other than being a bully.

I commend you on your fight for your kids, that is the purpose of all this right? However, basic disrespect isn't going to get you anywhere. If you can't handle the process(which is just as aggravating for a woman)then get something to take your edge off before you start. Learn deep breathing, meditate, or simply get a script for something to mellow you out alittle before you attack someone like a rabid dog.

I understand its frustrating enough to make your head explode. But you aren't helping your kids, you are hurting them and yourself. Calm down, take the emotion out of it. You can't expect a state worker to be as emotionally involved in this as you are. Your kids mother abandoned them, that would make me so furious I would want to see her behind bars forever. However, this is going to backfire on you if you don't get a handle on your anger and use it rightously. Get professional help if you need it, go back to that office and apologize to the person you attacked (and yes, what you said was threatening and a attack). Tell them you are sorry that you lost control and promise to not do that again. Ask for their help to do what's right for your children.

Good luck, hope it works out for you.