Alright so yesterday my family and I went on a trip to the CNE.Both my sisters and I got ten bucks each.My one sister spent all of my money without telling me and I let it pass and asked my parents for more money.After following my sisters around the whole day and being really nice to them even though they were trying to exclude me Samantha started saying she would die to save our younger sister if anything happened.I asked if she would save mine and she was like "probably not".Do you know the Bull$hit I go through trying to be her friend?!Every time she would be bullied I would stick up for her and everytime something upset her I would be concerned for her.Shes a user and an abuser.I put up with her bossy,manipulative ways for too long.Should I be upset?After everything I've done for her she treats me like $H!T
2007-08-19 01:53:04 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are right. Your sister is a user and abuser.
I bet the people that "bullied" your sister were really just standing up to her because they wouldn't take her b.s. like you do.
Stop trying to be her friend. When she realizes she has no control over you with her manipulative ways, maybe she will come around and appreciate you for the kind and faithful person you are.
2007-08-19 02:16:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We rarely get back what we put into relationships. You guys are sisters. To each other you will probably be vicious for a while and then you will grow up and be close friends. Or she might remain a manipulative bully who uses you (as long as you let her)all her life.
The key is that you cannot give to people with the expectation of getting back. You have to give without conditions. You will get it back, but its unlikely that it will be from her.
Don't judge your self worth by her behavior. Be happy you are a better person and don't be so insecure that you need her attention to feel good about yourself. And stop doing things for her, you don't have to hurt yourself to help her out. Stop defending her and let her feel what its like to be out there by herself. She will never appreciate what you do because she doesn't value you. If you take "you" away from her, it will give her a chance to experience life without her best friend. She needs that lesson.
This is the advice I regularly give one of my daughters regarding her sister, who at 24 is still manipulative and emotionally abusive, just like when she was little. You cannot be someones doormat unless you lie down and let them walk all over you.
2007-08-19 09:16:33 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure, you have the right to be upset after all her bad attitudes toward you. Just let her know that she has done wrong but do not continue with the same argument. Learn to ignore her for some time. Remember she is jelous of you for some reason.
You do not mention how is the reaction of your parents when you complaint to them about this matter. Maybe, you always argue or fight with her most of the time that they are feedup already with so many complains.
You are, in what we call, the most difficult age. When you both be mature, the point of view will change. Learn to love her even in your most difficult time. In some time, some day, she will be regretful of the things that she has done bad to you and ask you for forgiveness. Who knows! Later on, maybe you both will laugh at the wrong things that you both did during those difficult times. Just relax, be cool. Pray to the Lord Father God in the name of Jesus Christ for him to help you to understand your sister. This is the best solution to your problem. Be blessed.
2007-08-19 13:41:58 · answer #3 · answered by Tititita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From an outside opinion, it seems as though she might have meant it as a joke. Or she may have just been trying to be "cool" or something. She may not have meant in seriously. Good for you, for being the bigger person her, supporting, and caring for your sister. Even though she may not return it now, she is most likely really thankful for it. Maybe she is afraid to show her true feelings toward you, i'm not sure. I would really suggest sitting down and talking with her calmly, when no one is around so she doesn't feel threatened/"ganged up" on. Let her know how you feel without making her feel like a terrible person. You could even just sit down and write out how you feel and leave it on her bedside table if you don't feel comfortable confronting her. ..
2007-08-19 09:08:25 · answer #4 · answered by brittany7790 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure you can be upset if you want to, but you gave the key element in your question. You said, "...trying to be her friend." That never works, you can at best only create a false relationship. Give some space, stay away from her and let her come to you, and don't worry about this particular conversation since it sounds like you folks are young and young people say crazy things like that.
2007-08-19 09:07:19 · answer #5 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be upset and quit doing for her. Maybe it will bring her around and maybe not. But you don't need to be used or abused. Focus on you and your life.
2007-08-19 09:18:54 · answer #6 · answered by Steven E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
naturally it is upsetting, however i think there is a power struggle and she wants you to be upset. she is smarter than you think. if you show her that you are upset and you put yourself in her level then she wins, she gets what she wants and that is to make you upset. as i suggested before you guys need mediation. good luck
2007-08-19 14:08:03 · answer #7 · answered by macmanf4j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋