what should i do about my family?

Question

My parents are devorced , i grew up with my mother and my father moved to another country and i hardly talked to him. my mother and i never were close, she told me when i was younger that getting pregnant with me was a way out of the military i was a planned accident , my self esteem is very low Im now over 30 and have not much of a family life and dont really have any friends , i really want a family to talk to , be around so i tried calling my mother she told me she was busy and hung up. I feel so hurt inside . but do you think i should try again with her ? I dont have any other family members alive other than her and my dad.

Answer 1

Sometimes when you do not have a family that loves you, you have a to make a family of friends.

I have a few friends that I would consider my family. I'd never harm them and they would never harm me.

Strangers are often more willing to help a stranger than they are willing to help their own family.

Most of the time it is because of the way their family has treated them.

No I wouldn't call your mom again if I were you.
Does she ever call you?
Just wondered who makes the effort.

If you need a friend or someone to talk to, you can mail me. I always answer my mail
[e-mail]

Answer 2

Damn, that's tough bud. Don't give up even parents make mistakes they will regret. Keep the lines of communication open if possible. Another thing is that even the greatest parents fail at times. What ever gets you going concentrate on that and hope and pray things change. That may seem stupid but you've got to do something while giving time for these things to work out. thoughts and prayers T4

Answer 3

You are a grown up, you don't need your mother to give you self worth. She's made it clear she isn't much of a mother, so why expect her to change? She won't.

You need counseling, its obviously you are severly depressed. You make friends by getting involved in something you like doing and then it gives you something to talk about with another person doing the same thing. You can surround yourself with people by volunteering to work for charities, and that gives you a feeling of self worth because you are giving of yourself to someone else.

One of my daughters is lonely alot. I always tell her that you have to be the one to put forth the effort to make friends. Invite some people from work over for coffee and dessert. Meet for a drink after work. Join a book club and ask someone in it to join you for tea. Join a bowling, softball or quilting group. Do what you can to make yourself interesting, take a class, learn to cook, draw or speak in public.

We don't all get parents who love us and want to be part of our lives. You have to learn to mother yourself. Treat yourself like you would want to be treated by a loving nurturing caring mother. If you love yourself, you will be attractive to other people and you will find some happiness.

Forgive your mother in your heart and keep her at arms length. She can't help being who she is, and its her loss. You are a good person and she choose not to love you, that's on her not on you.

Answer 4

yes give your mum another go. try for a while if it doesnt go so well, dont wrote her off completely but maybe try your dad. he probably would love to get closer to you. even if you havent talk to him much... hes blood and a bond can still be formed, if effort is put in. if that isnt so good try starting a family of your own. not nessecerily marrage and kids but friends can be even better that family. try all the usual places to finds friends ie: clubs, gyms, if you have a dog, go to dog park on a busy sunny day. if you dont have a dog borrow one.
with low self esteem... i always say ' if you look good, you feel good!' go by some new spunky clothes, get a new hair cut, spruce your place up, a bit of colour goes a long way. if your feeling good about yourself and confident, you send off vibes to others and you tend to attract people. good luck mate.. chin up! :)

Answer 5

zoey be patient at all times specially with your mom you know we only have 1 mom and nothing could ever replaced her if she's busy try some other time. your the only one who can understand her maybe she dint want to be close to you bcoz she will remember about your father living her but that doesn't mean she dint care for you, she loves you zoey very much she just want to forget the past with your dad and she was scare when time comes you will leave her the same your father did so dint let it happen zoey show her how much you care and love her inspite of everything. dint put it as reason to make yourself low, it means that you should go with your life coz life isn't that bad at all. let go of your fears and have some friends around to guide you and support in any ways.

Answer 6

I think you should have a fresh start .Try finding a boy friend and then you will have a family to talk to you never know what could happen (children) ... then you could start to build a relationship with your mum ... good luck hope i helped :)

Answer 7

Start dating and find the right one for you and make your own family. You can treat your family the way you wanted to be treated when you were growing up.

Answer 8

Try writing your father and reconnecting...Maybe he wants to get to know you and restart your relationship but does not know how or if you care to.

Answer 9

Sweetie, I think you should confront your Mum. Tell her how you feel about what she does and why. Maybe if she heard how she makes you feel, she will look at hera ctions more carefully and hopefully change her tunes.

Answer 10

i would try and contact your dad and see how he was and ask him questions, etc. as for family, i would try to find your "life partner". sorry i couldn't be of more help.