Blonde jokes :P?

Question

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island. A magical genie finds them, and tells them he will grant each of them one wish. The brunette wishes she was back home. ZAP! Her wish is granted. The redhead wishes she was back home. ZAP! Her wish is granted. The blonde sits on the sand and thinks for a while and says "I'm lonely, I wish the other two girls would come back" and ZAP! =P

-----

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are before a magical talking mirror that can tell when your lying. The brunette says "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world" and the mirror shouts "LIAR!". The redhead says "I think I'm the smartest girl in the world" and the mirror shouts "LIAR". The blonde comes up and says "I think-" and the mirror shouts "LIAR".

A blonde was broke, so she decided to kidnap a kid for ransom money. She went to the nearest playground, and took a little blonde boy and pinned a ntoe to his shirt reading “I have kidnapped your son. I want 1000$ in a paper bag underneath the big cherry tree. Signed, a blonde”. She sent the kid home to show it to his parents. Sure enough, the next morning there was a paper bag with 1000$ inside, and a note attached that read “How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”

Answer 1

LOL Thanks for the smiles and laughs, Love! I needed that!
;-))

Answer 2

A blond walks as much as a counter and says to the clerk "can i've got a pound of ham please" the clerk says "Nope sorry" so the blond says "ok how some pound of Roast crimson meat" to which the clerk replies "No sorry have not got that the two" so the blond is getting disappointed and says "nicely then can i've got a pound of cheese i do no longer care what sort" and the clerk only says "No" so the blond asks "nicely why no longer" and the clerk says "Cuz it incredibly is a ironmongery save". --------------------------------------... How does a blond turn on the gentle after intercourse? She opens the vehicle door. --------------------------------------... how are you able to tell if a blond has been utilizing your pc? there is white out everywhere in the reveal. --------------------------------------... A blond a brunette and a redhead are all on the OBGYN and that they are all pregnant. The redhead and the brunette initiate discussing some thing the redhead study asserting which you will understand the gender of the new child via what place you have been in whilst it became conceived. So the redhead says "i'm having a boy because of fact i became on actual" and the brunette says "nicely then i could desire to be having a woman because of fact i became on backside” by surprise the two females pay attention the blond crying so the redhead turns to her and says "Oh honey what's the subject” and the blond says sobbing "i'm having domestic dogs!" --------------------------------------... Did you pay attention with regard to the all blond hockey team? They drown for the period of spring training. --------------------------------------... How do you tell if a blond is having a foul day? She has her tampon in the back of her ear and can't discover her pen. (ewwwww) --------------------------------------... A blond is going to a soccer interest and the seat she gets is solid in the back of an excellent concrete placed up and he or she misses the full interest. whilst she gets domicile and tells her husband he asks her why she didn’t ask to adjust seats with somebody next to her and he or she says "i could no longer, there became no person there."

Answer 3

LOL those jokes r hirlairous- have you heard this one?


A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

Answer 4

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive,expertly tailored black suit.

The Blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm
very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?" To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

"There's no charge," she says.

"No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of
that exquisite blue suit!" she says.

"Honestly, ma'am," the blonde says, "it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. So I just switched the heads."

Answer 5

I like the third one, cos I have heard the other two before, not that I did not enjoy them now.
I wonder what we'll do without blondes. Who will we make the butt of our jokes if one day, all blondesdecided to die themselvs brunette or something?

Answer 6

They all are nice, here is a star!
A blonde was tired of being the target all the time in the family. She gets her hair dyed. As she returns from the parlour, her son takes a look & says, 'Now you are relying on artificial intelligence!'

Answer 7

How do you get a one armed blonde girl off a tree?

Waive at her.
____________
A blonde lady goes to the doctor to ask for a prescription for her husband who has dandruff. So the doctor recommends giving her husband head & shoulders. So she goes home and comes back a week later to the doctor's and tells him "you know I tried what you asked me to do but I couldnt figure out how you give someone shoulders."

Answer 8

Ha Ha! Funny! 10!

Answer 9

I liked the second one!

Answer 10

lol..thank i always like blonde joke

Answer 11

haha very funny