Well... I broke up with my bf about three weeks ago and actually he broke my heart and decided to see another woman. Well I found out that i was pregnant and the only one it could actually be is his. I havent had sex with anyone else since him. But I can't figure out how to tell him or if I really want him to know... since he didn't want to be with me or have anything to do with me (my name is banned at his house) i don't know if i want my child around that??? I really don't know what to do and i'm so scared???
2007-08-18 21:29:55 · 17 answers · asked by BabyGirl7044 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Girl, i know how you feel. I had to tell my ex back in feb, it wasnt easy. But may experience is different. I broke up with him because he was waay too possesive and controlling. Now i have to go through alot of stress because he wants to get back together and be a family, while he goes in and out of jail, and i've wished that i never told him. But the thing is girl, if you dont tell him, he'll probably find out any way and think the baby could be his. I'd go ahead and tell him. Like, leave him a message and just tell him you wanted him to know and he can do what he wants with the info, wait for him to call you back, don't ever go begging and crying to him, don't let him see how upset he can make you. Good luck, your going to need it
2007-08-18 21:49:44 · answer #1 · answered by ladykira_mina 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think that you should wait until things have cooled off before telling him. If things are emotionally up in the air right now, this may make things worse. My suggestion is that you wait until you are farther along in your pregnancy, sure that your baby is healthy, and more emotionally stable yourself. He'll most likely be much calmer and less likely to react negatively if you give this whole thing some time. You're the mother, and the mother is pretty much always the default parental guardian (practically any lawyer will tell you that). Don't stress out about it. That's not healthy. But please, carefully consider your time frame here and go with your heart on the proper timing for informing him of this. When you do tell him, be as mature, calm, and gentle as you know how. If he's now with someone else, this might actually make it easier to tell him (when the time is right). Just be confident, and keep your chin up.
2007-08-19 00:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by Lovin' Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not sure about what to say to him then sit down and write a letter. It will give you a chance to compose your thoughts better. It also gives you the choice of telling him in person or sending the letter. Since it seems like the break up was rather shaky, a letter may be the best way for you to communicate with him...that is of course he reads the letter and doesn't just throw it away.
Also, as other's have mentioned, you could speak with an attorney about getting paper work drafted that would, if he signs it, take away his legal parental rights to the child....but also your right to any support from him in the future.
If your family is supportive enough that you think they'll handle the news well...tell them first, it's always good to have someone else on your side during difficult times.
Good luck!
2007-08-18 22:14:33 · answer #3 · answered by Dani 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You just have to come out and tell him. Say you are pregnant, you understand the timing is off, you dont want him back, but thought he should know and that you would appreciate his support (dont mention money at this stage, but you will want that too later)
The fact is, this isnt all your fault, he slept with you too... so its a joint thing. I wouldnt do it over the phone, ask him to meet you somewhere and have a mature supportive friend with you.
That is, if you want him to know. Im not saying to keep it quiet from him, but at this stage, theres not a lot he can do, you could wait until youre a bit further along and tell him then. keep in mind of whether or not hes the type of guy to try and get custody of the baby, and whether or not he has family that is supportive. either way you will have to, and should tell him.
goodluck
2007-08-19 00:06:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him. There is really no easy way other than just to tell him.
If you really don't want your child around him and you don't want support from him then you need to see a lawyer. Legally he has rights. You can draft up a document for him to sign where he gives up his rights. That would make it so later you would not have to legally have anything to do with him or his family. It would also allow a future husband to adopt the child with no problems. The down side is that you would not qualify for support payments from him if he did that so you need to think about that too.
The worst thing you could do is not tell him and then later he finds out. Once he finds out he could make a legal nightmare for you and if you ever want a husband to adopt he could disallow it.
Decide how much you want legally from him, if nothing then... See a lawyer. Draft up a give up rights document. And go see him and tell him.
If he doesn't want anything to do with you or the baby then get him to sign the document and let it go at that. If he wants something to do with the child then go with that too. Let him deal with telling his family and all that drama. All you need to do is tell him, let him handle the rest.
2007-08-18 21:41:37 · answer #5 · answered by The Morg 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
enable me inform you some thing that woman has harm that baby extra advantageous than you ever could desire to with your information. that's the ex it particularly is having extra subject with it. in the experience that your boyfriend thinks that's ok then do it. do not do it at the back of the exes decrease back tell her what your doing so she will't get mad you probably did not tell her. Get down on the baby's point and check along with her. enable her understand that she will have the means to be an excellent sister. do not difficulty approximately telling he approximately being a half-sister merely yet. Oh, approximately seeing the little woman your boyfriend has to establish traveling rights and that could desire to alter. she will't whinge correct to the baby traveling whilst the court docket says she has to.
2016-10-16 02:52:55 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/NIb9u
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.
2016-04-21 08:57:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetheart , you have to let him know. And i know that may be scarry, but remember you have the control over this situation. They may be mad at first, give them a couple of days, and see what happens. If that cant accept it then go with ur heart. And ur child wil always be apart them if that is the case
2007-08-18 21:42:03 · answer #8 · answered by scorpio 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When ever someone asks me what is the top thing I can recommend that they do to get their ex back I always say the same thing. Want to know what it is? I tell them one word - change. When my ex and I finally got back together and believe me she wanted to have nothing to do with me when we broke up, I asked her what it was that caused her to take another chance on me. Want to know what she said?
She said she decided to give us another shot when she saw the changes I had made. She picked up on the way I was acting and reacting to things. She stopped listening to what was coming out of my mouth and started watching my actions. She started to watch how I reacted to certain situations and if I had learned from my mistakes or if I was going to be the same person I had always been. Believe me; it came as a shock to me as well when she told me all of this.Go https://tr.im/HBE6q
2015-05-28 19:54:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discover how to get your ex back with simple text message: https://tr.im/9Qvip
Many girls break up with their significant others, is because they need time to figure things out. Don't take it personally, if you want her back, you have to show her you can help her. If you love her then you'll let her go, that's it. Not everybody who you date in high school you end up staying with, the chances are extremely unlikely. So if she doesn't want to, then you need to let her go.
2015-02-02 13:25:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋