stubborn co worker that snapped at me help?

Question

a new coworker that join out team. she was working on a paper that I felt that was not correct, I tried understanding where she was going with this. I gave her my opinion and told her that the paper was not good, and told her to re write it since I a responsible for her paper. she snapped and said I was demanding, I tried calming her down and said that she is making a big deal. management stepped in and we have to sit in with him. I told her i apoligized, but she kept going on said what i did was wrong. I accepted being wrong. but She keeps going on about what I did and it drove me crazy and because I am much older that her i just stood up and gave her a hug and said I was wrong for not explaining my self to get over the problem. My problem is, is that I'm am angy at myself and said i was sorry. It wasn't my fault as much it was her. She threaten me and told me over and over she is not going tolerate what i did. I just want her shut up.

Answer 1

What's missing here? Why are you responsible for her paper? If you could tell me the rest of the situation maybe I could help you, cuz I find it odd that you would just jump in and tell her what she was working on was terrible. I guess I don't understand what's going on

Answer 2

Well, I wouldn't play it off, and given the biitch a hug, she sounds like she is a very stubborn and very angry person. You already said you were sorry, -if you were only trying to help, as long as you weren't condesending the bi tch has no reason to snap. *If in your heart you knew your intentions were good, then don't worry about it. Haven't you noticed any time you try to do something good out of no reason, it aleasy goes unpunished??...i guess just learn from this. Could you've been more tactful?..if so, how?..Is she being a drama queen and taking this overboard?..if so, then why continue to build on the thread?..If you did your part, then try and move on-we all make mistakes, ignore the bitc h and if you have to put her in her place and tell her to STFU, then do it-she can't keep playing the inocent-it's been done and over with. * Since this is your career on the line and she is your responsibility, it is easy to see why you freaked, but then agiain, you are just watchig out for yourself, but don't we all have to?..

Answer 3

First off, YOU should NEVER have apologized. It is a cut throat world out there sweetheart! YOU did absolutely nothing wrong.

You should tell her that it is quite unfair for the way she is treating you, and that there is no "I" in Team. Also tell her that she should feel honored that you were offering her constructive criticism on her paper, because you know that deep down she is a better writer than what was there on the paper. You know she has more potential than what was written. You were only trying to offer to help her improve her writing, and if she can't handle that, she really needs to learn how to so that she can grow . Also, you should tell her that what is in the past, stays there - it's time to move on, and work on better things than being on each others nerves, and that it would be best, if you both agree to disagree.

Answer 4

I think you were the wiser person for apologizing and giving her a hug to make things right. At least management can see how psycho she is for taking it out of proportion. Since you are responsible for her work, then you will be accountable. Next time, tell her she should be lucky she still has a job with the way she writes. Better yet, take her sloppy work and show it to management so it doesn't come biting back at you. Good luck.

Answer 5

Well if you would have kept your mouth shut you would not be here on Q & A now would you. I think it was very wrong to hug her. She could have pulled the sexual harrassment card on you to. If you say you where in charge of the paper then why did you just tell her to re-write it and walk away? Does she not know that you are higher then her? Did you ask in a professional manner or did you try to act superior? There then lies the reason for her anger...

Answer 6

Give her time! She is the "new kid on the block". So she is trying to get used to the new atmosphere. I am sure she is already uncomfortable being in a new place. I am sure the last thing she needs is you jumping down her throat. There is nothing wrong with you giving her your opinion, but it is still her decision weither or not to listen to it or not. You don't have to like each other, you just have to work together. Unless she quits or gets fired, you don't have much choice. Either work with her or work with her!! Let her figure out what she wants to do. Then go from there!!

Answer 7

I HATE it when that happens!!! you try and be the bigger person and apologize and then you get stepped on... GRrr this make me so mad.. I tell you what the next time she makes a mistake let her do it...when the management comes into the picture just tell them i tried to tell her but shes not willing to cooperate everything i tell her it goes in her butt...
The best thing you can do is not acknowledge shes there...dont talk to her dont smile at her just avoid her ***.... much love never take the blame never try and be the bigger person at least when u dont like em :D take care hope i helped

Answer 8

Stop worrying about her feelings you gave her your opinion andif was not up to par then you had right to tell her.Shes new to the team and she needs to get on board with the rest of team.If she cant take corrective critisim then you probably wont get much out of her in future.When you have the sit down with management tell them that you are not going to put up with her threats.A good team worker tries very hard to jell with the other members its obvious to me that she is the type who may not admit to making mistakes and that makes her a weak link.You should only sort of apoligized once.and thats it you are resposible for her work and if it is sub par it needs to be done over correcly end of story.By the way whos but is on the line if management questions the paper,never take a chewing out due to anothers poor work ethics,I know we all make mistakes but you tried to fix it now it becomes her problem to make it right.

Answer 9

Don't be angry with yourself. You did the right thing by making yourself be the better person for apologizing. If she keeps doing this I am sure management will see she is a troublemaker and a little neurotic. You could also ask to meet with management to let them know she threatened you by the "tolerate what you did" remark. Otherwise don't let her bully you she is new and trying to do as any animal would do, mark their territory.

Answer 10

Quit being nice. Business is business. If she was wrong and it was your place to correct her you had no options. If she does not like this you direct her to the boss and let her hang herself. You just keep doing what you know, until the boss tells you otherwise.