How do I respond to all the people who say "call if you need help" while my husband is deployed?

Question

My first deployment since 12-year marriage. Hubby's headed for Iraq for 1 to 2 years. SIX kids, part-time job. Help seems overwhelming, hard to accept at times and sometimes not really substantial.

Answer 1

If these offers of help are coming from the Seabee community, light a candle and say a prayer of thanks. Thank all who volunteer to help. Accept help in areas where you truly need help.
If they come from the civilian community and you find out that "there is no there there", welcome to America. The land where a lot of people wouldn't have given you and your husband the time of day on September 10, 2001.

Answer 2

They're just trying to be nice. Smile and say thank you. My husband has only been home 8 months out of the last three years between deployments (one 12 month, one 15month) training and schools. People want to be supportive, but I have found that most of the time they don't really mean it anyway. Good intentions, bad follow through. I only ask for help if it's extremely dire; that way I'm not taking advantage and they're hopefully more apt to say yes since I don't ask for help very often.

Answer 3

You say "thank you and I sure will".


Just as I say email me if you need someone to talk. Even though my husband and I don't have children, we are newlyweds from being middle/high school sweethearts into college. I can understand how stressful and hard it is. This is his second deployment.

There is some perks for Iraq, but it is hard to deal with the not so perks too.

Answer 4

Say "Thank you, I'll keep that in mind."

One of things I miss about the service is the fact that when it all hit the fan, the spouses always pulled together in ways that a civilian could NEVER understand.

If you need help ask for it. The help could be as simple as watching the kids for an hour or 2 to give you some downtime.

Don't be shamed that things get too much. You ladies and gentlemen who stay home have just as hard if not a HARDER time then we who are in the field do. Your the ones that keep things going for Us. Your the main reason we come back.

And knowing every time I came back that my wife kept it all together so that it my life outside of the Military was as I left it was the one of the most wonderful things she ever did for me.

God Bless YOU, your Husband, and your kids for your Sacrifice.

Answer 5

Say thank you. Sooner or later you will find a few who have something substantial to offer. Don't let yourself sink under the pressure. sometimes just an afternoon away by yourself is a big help.

Answer 6

I think they are sincere. Call them if you do need help. It can be hard to reach out when in need but it's important for you to do so when you need it. You'll be surprised, delighted and probably helped by all the support that's out there.

Answer 7

you "call if you need help". how hard is it? six kids? wow! you were BUSY for those 12 years, huh? kidding, just messing with you. at least you're married. just ask for help! you'll find out who your real friends are. good luck. i hope it's a short deployment for him.

Answer 8

Thank you !!! Thats so sweet. I sure will. That would be a good start................. they mean well.

He will get hazard pay that will be sent home ( most of it ) to your joint account, Why would you really need that much help. My brother has sent home over 20,000 in 13 months home to his bank account. He wasnt bringing home near that when he was home..... Your husband should be allotted more since he has you and 6 kid......

Answer 9

Help will come if you need it if your husband is deployed abroad.

Answer 10

You simply say "Thank you".