why do i have such low self esteem..?

Question

Hey people, ive been told many times that im a good looking person, but i always think to myself that i am not??.....why is this people, girls of every race(espescially my own), always look at me in a flirty way, some not, but many hot girls do, this is what i have noticed anyway(not to be arrogant or anything.)my problem is i dont feel good enough to go out with a real good looking girl, even though heaps of people tell me i am good looking aswell?, i dnt understand where im getting all this from, but it does let me down....and it makes me feel quite insecure, its kind of like some really pretty/hot girls who are very insecure....what do i do about this?

ive also been asked out by girls alot, but im just too low in my s.e, and also im shy!

Answer 1

Just find out what you truly are unhappy about . I don't think it is your looks it may be some thing else like a chemical em balance that may be making you feel this way .

Answer 2

Hmm. I used to have the same problem except vis versa. I'm an attractive girl and guys would always stair at me. I have always been self conscence. What I did to increase my self esteem was go to the gym and start working out. Being pyhsically fit will make you look better and feel better about yourself. Hang out with guys that have some game, and learn from the masters that have some talent. you will get the hang of it after a while. Practice makes perfect.

Answer 3

Very often it's the way you were raised when quite young that makes you feel you're not good enough. It's quite difficult to figure all this out for yourself but a little counseling can really make a difference. You might want to look into it and free yourself of the shyness and low self worth.

Answer 4

My son is like that, except he never talks about it. I've walked in a mall with him and had girls (even their moms which is sickening) walk into things! Handsome is wonderful, but believing that is all that is important will make you bankrupt as a person.

Looks are just the shell you carry all the important stuff in; if you are serious about your life, take the time to work on becoming a good solid person of character and then you will even be more handsome because your strength and beauty will radiate from way down deep within.

Work on being a person with a good head on your shoulders, interesting to be with and talk to, have a good sense of yourself and others. Its nice to be pleased with yourself, but God didn't send you here with an appendage of a mirror, He sent you here with a keen mind/heart, a strong pair of hands and feet and I'm sure He expects you to do something positive with them as you go FORWARD.

Answer 5

Low self esteem has not much to do about looks. It's about what you feel and think of yourself as an individual. Now if you're simply shy, that's another story. Just smile and go out with the girls you want to as long as they are nice. You don't have to marry them...just have some good clean fun and maybe they will help your shyness disappear.

Answer 6

Don't worry, relax. Live live and go out with these girls. If you happen to like one in particular, ask her out. Just take a deep breath, walk up to her, and say, "Hey _____, Would you like to go out?" There is a fifty-fifty chance of her saying yes or no. If she says yes, great. Go out with her and get to know her. If she says no, There's no harm done. It's only a word. You can just move on and find someone else. There is pretty much nothing you can do to force her into it, and if she dosen't like you now, she probably never will. It is that simple. There are only two things she can say to you. Either way you come out on top, If she said yes, you have a date. If she said no, you have a self esteem boost for having the guts to do it in the first place.

Answer 7

We couldn't possibly tell you why w/o more info. What's more important is that you work on correcting the problem. I've seen plenty of ugly guys w/ hot girls. If you're often told that you're good looking you've got an advantage. STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR LOOKS ! ! ! Concentrate on being yourself and enjoying yourself, hopefully you'll begin to come out of your shell. When I get nervous around a hot girl, I sometimes pretend that she's really ugly and try to be genuinely nice to her as if I was doing her a favor. The key word is GENUINE!

Answer 8

stop being so shallow. Maybe you come off that way, and the girls don't want to have to compete for you. If you comment too much on how hot they are they may get the sense that's all you care about and are just looking for a litle bump and grind. Try giving a real girl a chance.

Answer 9

You're waiting for someone else to make the first move and prove you wrong, but this almost never happens.

SIMPLY TAKE A CHANCE, date any one of these hot girls, and see what happens from there. Chances are you'll be successful.

It seems obvious that you have a fear of failure... well, NOTHING VENTURED, NOTHING GAINED.

Whatever your current life circumstances are, you've attracted into your life. Don't focus on: "I can't get a girl" instead focus on "I am getting any girl I want, whenever I want".

Remember, whether you think you can or you can't, you're right.

Answer 10

Become aware of your inner dialect (that your not hot and not good looking enough to have a hot looking girlfriend). Once you catch yourself saying that to yourself-stop-and counter that with a positive inner dialect (I am hot and good looking enough to have her as a girl friend). Don't be your own downer-be your own best and loving friend. 8:)
You may even try an added behavior modification technique-have a rubber band on your wrist and snap yourself when you catch your thoughts putting yourself down. Then follow with a positive self esteem message.

Answer 11

You know from looking in the mirror whether or not you look good, so it is probably not your looks that you are insecure about as much as your ability to be cool. Forget about your looks. Just go out there and show people your personality. Start dating and your confidence will grow. People will notice your good looks, but it will be your great personality that they will remember.