what can I do about parents?

Question

I have been a straight a student for as long as i could remember for like at least 15 years and i never had any freedom i don't mean like let me out for today and tomorrow no, I mean like no to everything then when i went through the depression stage from being stuck in the house for so many years I felt so horrible and down when i get any time out the house i try and do everything that i always asked to do cuz i know it would be my last me and my parents don't talk and I'm 17 we have been like this for years now we don't talk because every time we try and talk they always yell when they don't hear what they wanna hear. they are the type that doesn't let me have a bf for anything even when i talk to them about it first and even try and get them to talk to the parents and him and everything they won't even let me get a job I just feel trapped and i don't know what to do someone give me advice please and I've tried talking to them too many times and I 've looked at it from their view.

Answer 1

Ok straight "A" student, next question you post, don't use run on sentences and try to separate your thoughts into paragraphs so that your question isn't so hard to read...=)

that being said -

What your parents are doing is what is giving you the opportunity to have straight "A"'s, and have a better future than some of your peers. Boyfriends are just a distraction, and you will have plenty of time when you turn 18 to date...you don't need a job because they are paying for everything for you right now, and again, it will be a distraction to your education.

When you get older, you are going to look back and understand why they made the choices they did - and thank them for it - so that when you DO get a job, you are going to be paid more than others you know because you will have the education that matters, and when you do start to date, you will be smart enough to make wiser choices, and go by what you know is in your best interest, instead of your all over the place hormones.

Answer 2

In order to diffuse a difficult situation, writing a letter to your parents would be the best answer. Start the letter in a positive way. Tell your parents what you appreciate about them. Then explain your feelings about being trapped in the house. I have seen people turn 18 and leave home and their parents never hear from or see them again. It's a sad thing, but some parents need to realize that when children feel emotionally abused or neglected, they cant wait to get away, and then when they do, its usually not in very good circumstances. One girl I know said she'd rather live on the street, doing whatever she had to do, rather than live with her parents. She recently had a baby boy who will never know his grandparents. On the other hand if parents will be involved in their childrens lives and like you said, talk to the other parents and the boyfriend, It would most likley turn out to be a good positive experience for everyone. You are approaching life choices that will effect you and your parents for the rest of your lives, choose wisely. Good Luck, swequin

Answer 3

Your parents sound like control freaks! I'm sure that when you were much younger, all their restrictions really did benefit you - but they seem not to have realised that you're practically an adult now. How do they expect you to cope with adult life if they go on treating you as though you were a 5 year old?

I would say talk to them, but you tell me you've tried and are not going to try again to break through their yelling. Well, I can't say I blame you. But have you thought about why they yell? CONTROL! When you put your case to them for a less restricted, rule-ridden life, they see their control of you slipping from their grasp - and it SCARES the hell out of them.

And why do they fear that? Not because they're mean, nasty people, because they know so much about the dangers and pitfalls of a young girl living independently in society today, and because they love you, they want to keep you away from all that. Of course it's unrealistic, and ultimately foolish to want to do that. But they evidently have so little confidence in the way they've raised you, they can't bring themselves to believe that they've equipped you well to start making your own decisions in life. That tells me that underneath all the yelling, they're people with very little confidence.

And that's their problem to solve if they recognise it and want to, it's not yours.

They've had (from what you say) TOTAL control of you ever since you were born, and unfortunately, they've failed to adapt their rules as you've got older. Do try to take every opportunity when you are out of the house to see friends, socialise and enjoy yourself, as well as working as hard as you can at your studies so you can get good results and qualifications, and start living away from home (maybe sharing with a friend) as soon as possible.

Hang on in there! You'll soon be of age, and then whatever your parents say, if you want to get a job, you can. With some ability to provide for yourself, you should be able to move out, which is the only thing to do if your parents won't listen to you and aren't willing to change.

wimsey

Answer 4

K..parents do only what they know..maybe your parents were treated like that when they were young. You have to put yourself in their shoes. Try to figure out why they are doing what they are doing to you.. Let them know how you feel even if you know they are going to yell at you..Hold on just a little while longer cause your 17, 18 is just around the corner..

Answer 5

I assume that you will graduate soon. Did you join any clubs or activities at school? Not to sneak around, but to have an outlet, to be around your peers.

Soon you will be in college and I say this to you remember what your parents have taught you. Because when you get your freedom you may understand why they were so restrict.
Forget a boyfriend, trust me you are going to have many years for one or two them.

What is their reason for not letting you get a job?

Later in life you will appreciate them when they are caring for your children, you will know that they are in good hands.

Answer 6

your parents love you, that was their first mistake, you are 17 they are going through what I call restrantative parenting(don't know if thats a word or not) it means in a way they are trying to stop you from being an adult, they will have irrational reasons for things, and will try to reinstate their dominance in your relationship

Chances are they aint gonna kick you out when your 17, simply remind them that you only gotta put up with their crap for however many months till you turn 18, everytime they try to piss you off just yell out how many months till you turn 18

they may or may not allow you to do more stuff but it will be a stab at their parenting skills and will make them question their parenting abilities

Answer 7

well you are nearly of age and soon you will be out of there and then you can get job and save abit and move out or if you have friend and can ge thelp now move out. but 18 is the key time for that they can't do nothing to you i am sorry you are like this now.

Answer 8

Finish school. Grow up. Get a job......and get your own place. Its that simple.