How would you answer this father?

Question

A 5 year old boy was playing by himself near the family swiming pool and he fell into the pool and was rescued by the parents about 7 or 8 minuits later. However by that time the child had stopped breathing and the father called the 000 number (ambulence) and the paramedics brought the child back to life, but since then he has been severely brain damaged and is a vegetable. Its over 5 years now

I know the parents well because we have been good friends , and each time i speak to the father this is what he tells me,

The greatest mistake i have made in life is dialling the 000 number when my son was found in the pool. If i did not dial that number my son would not have been suffering today and we as parents would not be suffering either. Because each time i see my son on bed as a vegetable it breaks my heart

I have never found words fitting to answer this sad father because i feel for him so much

How would you answer him?

Answer 1

I don't know what he's complaining about. If he doesn't want his son to suffer, euthanasia is the way to go. It's painless. Otherwise, why is he complaining?

Answer 2

I don't think this father is asking a question that requires a response from you. It would serve no purpose to point out that owning a swimming pool and/or allowing the boy to play near it unsupervised was a far greater error than calling for help. The man does have a point that, in this case, his decision to call for help did have negative consequences. I'm not even sure it would do any good to point out that his heart wouldn't be any less broken if the child had died.

One thing you might want to do if you want to respond to this father with hope is to do some research on the child's condition and search for information that helps this father realize that "while there is life there is hope". I did a quick search using the term "vegetative state" and found some information about promising research that can reverse some of the effects of brain damage and stories about people who awoke from a vegetative state with some mental abilities functioning (for short times like in the movie awakenings and some for longer periods of time). I don't know all the terminology associated with this case, but if you really care, I'm sure you can get information and terminology you need from a doctor familiar with the particular case?

...and don't overlook the power of prayer or the possibility of a miracle. I'm not suggesting that God will restore the boy to full health, but I believe he has the power to do it and I'm sure I'll say a prayer every time I think of this story. ...and how much would that father give to have one lucid day with his son? I have experienced a similar miracle with my own mother and though she did die in 1998, she lived for more than a year longer than any doctor said was medically possible and was able to travel with my dad and achieve a measure of peace by trying to make amends for past wrongs...God gave her the miracle of an extra year and, near the end when she was no longer lucid from the pain and medications, God gave us the miracle of one day when we were all together and she was free from pain and like her old self...we talked and laughed and had the chance to say goodbye...then she slipped into a coma and died the following week.

Answer 3

There is no way to know the outcome in situations such as this. They are heartbreaking. Sometimes technology does wonderful things, sometimes it doesn't. There are many times as a healthcare worker, I see people, including preemies, kept alive with support, when there isn't a chance of a good outcome. Often family members find it very difficult to release the patient from that support. In the past, before the technology, it wouldn't have been an issue.
Not doing CPR on his son and letting him die then would have been on his mind forever...what if I could have saved him?
In the moment, people do what they believe is best and that's all you can expect of anyone.

Answer 4

I would say " You can't blame yourself for trying to save your son. Should you just had let him die? You tried your best! You tried to make him survive! You did the best for him. It is not your fault that he is where he is. Besides, think about how many more times he has had the chance to have you around him, hugging him, or just smiling to him. He might not correspond, but he feels, and it is important that he continues to feel loved, because that's the only thing that he has and the only thing that makes sense to him. Take this opportunity to love him even more. Embrace this challenge, which is hard, no doubt about it, with courage. Pray to God to give you strength, and don't forget it is not forever. One day, you will both be in another world, enjoying each other even more, with a bond stronger than ever." Something like that.

I have this quote: "God never gives one person a burden heavier than what he/she can carry".

Last, pray for him yourself! The father that is, because he is not being strong enough.

Peace!

Answer 5

This man and his wife would be suffering if they really love their sonand he had died, death would not have solved their problem it would just have been a different problem, personally I think that death is harder to take for parents, they would probably still have blamed themselves and continually keep talking about the mistakes that they made in allowing the death of their son which they would think they could somehow have prevented, but as for their son being a vegetable I would read to them (Revelation21:1-4) Which shows that there is a hope for them and their son's health in not too distant the future.

Answer 6

That hurt.I had a brother,I never met,who died choking on a piece of bread,with 2 nurses right behind him.He fell down a flight of stairs when he was 5,and was put in a facility until he died 33 years ago.Tell the person this story,and cry out in the alter of his heart.

Answer 7

Even if their son is in a coma there is the possibility that he feels something. So if I was the father I would give my son as much affection as I could, and believe that somehow it would make a difference for him.

I don't have anything else to offer, sorry.

Answer 8

i think of of your daughter could desire to pass to a counselor. by using fact I learn that query you revealed, and that on my own isn't well-known habit. for specific some factor is defective. i do now not could make you think of of that she advance into raped or some thing like that, yet say if, God forbid, she advance into compelled or raped? thinking the shown fact that form of adventure, fairly on a teenage woman, can confuse how she interprets her relationships with adult males. in spite of if now not some thing undesirable happened to her, she's performing this sort around you, and performing well-known round her mom. She sounds puzzled, I say get her to a counselor. having pronounced that, i do now not understand you're daughter. that's available that she's purely being a teenage woman and dealing with stages (have self belief me I went by using stages that have been embarassing even around my father and mom). yet what she's doing sounds a sprint extra advantageous innappropriate.

Answer 9

I have not dealt with this exact situation, but I have dealt with others...... I always remind them that as loving parents we do what we have to do to save our children.... We go on the instinct of LOVE, that is the guidance of our hearts....... Tell him to look into the eyes of his son and see the love there..... NO matter what else is NOT there, the love still is, for the father and the son...... *Sigh*, this is what I have to remember every time I think of my unborn child who is with the Lord....... I never knew her, but I still LOVE her....... God bless

Answer 10

i could not, loseing a child is the hardest thing a person can endure...but to be the cause of the loss i could not imagine.

and yeah, if my kid was hurt because i was not watching him like a hawk i would blame myself....

in all truth after something like that,,,i doubt that you would hear me talk about it...that is of course if i did not decide to kill myself out of shame and guilt first.

loseing a kid to a drunk driver is bad enough, i barely lived though that, and i was not even sure if that was my kid, the mother was on her way to have the blood test's done..

Answer 11

how would you feel if you didn't call for help? Knowing you did NOTHING to save your child. Do you think God would have been pleased with that Not to worry, Jesus loves children, be they mentally a child, or an actual child, they are saved in his kingdom by his grace. good luck