Is my friend abusing her child?

Question

I went over to a friend I meet down the street a few months back to visit. When I got there her oldest son age 8 was standing in the corner. She made it clear he was there for tracking paint on the carpet from his shoes that he spilt in the garage. She said he lyed about it. While in the corner he ask to go to the bathroom. She told him no that he wasn't going to get to go for a long time mister. We talked like we always do, but I could not help but to get mind off the fact that her son was in desperate need of the toilet and she was not let letting him. I stayed for an hour and he was still there when I left. He was crying and asked again before I left. She told him no again and that he better not ask again or she was going to make him stay there longer! I do not know how long he was there before I came or how long he had to wait after I left. She is really strict with them, but I never really seen anything abusive before. Is what she was doing abuse? Should I do anything about this?

It was likely no more than a hour after i left because they go to bed pretty early.

Answer 1

I bet he'll think twice before getting paint on the carpet. I do feel he was probably there to long but that incidence alone does not mean abuse it means mom was very upset and she was smart not to spank him while she was angry. Just watch are the kids scared of her, are they happy, due they flinch when she reaches for them. Does she ever love on them or smile at them, does she put them down or talk good about them. Think about all those questions and you Will probably get your answer.....

Answer 2

I don't really know if that is child abuse or not, but it definately seems wrong. An hour is way too long to make an eight year old stand in the corner. I would say 15 to 20 minutes at the most. Not letting him go to the bathroom is definately wrong. It might have been an excuse for him to get out of time out, but then again he might have really had to go. She should have just walked him to the bathroom waited outside for him and when he was done made him go back to timeout.

Answer 3

are you freaking kidding me?! Yes, this woman is abusive and needs to have CPS called on her. I don't give a crap that her son tracked paint into the house, being 8 he probably didn't even realize it was on his shoes. Over an hour in time out and not being allowed to perform basic human functions? Let me guess if he peed or pooped his pants she's probably make him stay in it and possibly spank his little butt? This is abuse and she needs to be reported. If she feels her kid needs to be in time out for that long for not thinking about checking his shoes (which 8 year olds don't do) then she needs to have some serious counseling. If her kid needed to go three minutes into the time out to the bathroom, if it was my kid I would escort them to the bathroom wait outside the bathroom door while they went and then send them back to the corner if I saw fit. But what should have happened is given him some spot shot or other carpet cleaner make him clean up the paint and tell him that from now on you want him to take his shoes off and leave them by the door when he comes in the house. Being her friend I would have said something while I was there, like "well maybe you should let him go to the bathroom if he really needs to go." If your friend told you to but out to then I'd say, "Well obviously I came at a bad time why don't you handle your family situation." Then I would have left and reported to CPS what I witnessed and have them knock on her door and do an investigation.

Answer 4

Putting a child in the corner is by no means abusive but I do think its going a little far not letting him go to the bathroom when he needed it. She could have let him use the bathroom and made him go back to the corner...or maybe he just uses that as an excuse to get out of the corner...my niece used to use that as an excuse and when I took her to the bathroom she would sit there and play around and not even use the bathroom...I think maybe 2 times she actually went to the potty and used it...so don't put it past him...but still she should have at least let him use the bathroom once during that time...as far as abuse if it continues to happen like that or he wets himself because she told him no bathroom then I might say something or call somebody about it because that is crossing the line.

Answer 5

I know that when I punish my child he has every excuse in the book to get out of the corner...IE going to the bathroom or thirsty or whatever. Ask her why she didnt let him go to the bathroom and observe the situation more before judging her as abusive, maybe she had good reason, for all you know he went to the bathroom right before you got there. IF you notice anything else abusivelike then call child protective services and they can sort it out....observe the children while NOT on punishment, are they afraid of adults or reclusive.....dont jump to conclusions yet.

Answer 6

No eight year old child should ever be kept in the corner for over an hour. timeout is just that, time-out. you take a break from the bad behavior and if durring that time, they need to use the restroom, they should be allowed to.
One hour is borderline abuse but to deny bathroom time could be. I'd call child protective services and ask them. maybe she needs a phone call from someone who can direct her better on more efficient ways to dicipline her kids. or, call the super nanny.

Answer 7

I can't say that that is abuse or not because.... My kids would get into trouble or even bed time, for some reason they always need to go to the bathroom. They will cry and through a fit because they have to go so bad. At first you give in and then you learn they just want to get out or up. i would finally tell them OK get to the bathroom, but I will wait in there until you I hear you go. Boy after sitting on the toilet for ever trying to force themselves to go Mom's learn real fast that it is just a ploy to get up. So maybe he did need to go or maybe he didn't the only one who really knows is him.

Answer 8

An hour is too long to stand there, in my opinion. Not letting him go to the bathroom doesn't bother me, as I have seen TONS of kids use this as an excuse to leave a time out, or procrastinate a bedtime, etc. However, after an hour it seems excessive.

Answer 9

I'd talk to her about it. Let her know it concerned you. If she's not abusive then it shouldn't concern or insult her.

I have kids of my own and often have had my daughter insist she had to "go potty" to get out of doing other stuff even after she had just gone.

I personally think over an hour is a bit excessive but not necessarily abusive. I might have made my daughter sit in a chair. Talk to her about it. Is this her first child? Is she willing to take advice? Be prepared to give advice if asked and to NOT give advice if it's not requested. If nothing else, maybe in her frustration she didn't realize that the punishment was a bit excessive. Maybe you asking the question will make her think about punishments in the future.

Answer 10

Well I think she made him wait a little long, but an 8 year old should beable to hold it for awhile, Maybe he really didnt have to go that bad and thats an excuse he uses to get out of the corner. Yes if he really had to go that is cruel, but she could have beat his as* tell he couldnt sit......... thats what my parents would have done................... If he didnt wet himself he didnt have to go that bad,

I would have made mine stand in the corner, But i think an hour is too long.

I think poeple scream abuse far too often..... We got our as*es beat as kids and no one called that abuse, that was teaching your kids right from wrong. How when we tell them to stand in the corner its a crime, whats next............. saying NO is abuse.

Nothing wrong with being strict. but you can go overboard.
BUT CPS wont do anything. They barley do anything if they have proof the child is being beaten. They will just find it unfounded and then she will be more pissy with him.