Is it wrong to let someone know you find them attractive if you're in a relationship with someone else?

Question

I have a boyfriend, but am attracted to another guy who I'm also pretty sure is attracted to me. I really have a crush on this guy and think about him a lot, but I love being with my boyfriend and would never cheat on him, but you can't help but find other people attractive sometimes.

So my question is, do you think it's wrong for to let this other guy know I find him attractive? I don't want to actually say it to him, but for some reason I don't want him to think I don't like him. Is this a bad idea considering he is also attracted to me? He knows I'm in a relationship but, I don't know if it would make him feel better or worse to know I do find him attractive. My boyfriend knows I have a crush on him, so it's not really a big secret, but he's not the type to get really upset by something like that. What do you think?

Answer 1

When a person feels something strongly, its hard not to say it out loud. But there is probably another reason that you want to tell him, a reason that you probably haven't admitted even to yourself. Perhaps you want to tell him because you hope he will tell you that he's attracted to you, too....and then you could break up with your boyfriend without having to risk being alone. (Fortunately, you have the good sense to know that cheating is not OK.)

This is gonna sound nuts, but--to decide whether or not its OK to tell this person you think he's attractive.....ask your boyfriend if its OK. Or just imagine what your boyfriend would say if he read your question. What would he think? ('Course, you'll have to be honest with *yourself* and that can be hard....)

Good luck, chica. And--in case you do decide to take the jump and break up with your BF--I think that the other guy probably likes you....

Answer 2

Yes it is wrong! And if you continue leaving on like that you won't have a successful marriage.

When we're born it's like we find ourselves into the mall with a condition of buying one thing only or into the forest hunting one lovely animal. There are pretty great things inside the mall and there are types of animals we are hunting.

However, once you buy something you realy love into the mall or catch an animal you like into the forest you get outside of the mall or forest.

That is the way it is. Otherwise you should have spend more time inside the mall or forest.

My point is that you really are aware that finding that someone is attractive would happen into the future; you would have turned down your current boyfriend and wait till the right moment when you found someone and thereafter you won't find anyone else beyond your then boyfriend.

Besides looks can be very disappointing. And if not mistaken among one of your previous answers thereis someone who told you that good guys are not that much attractive. Meanwhile if you want to follow the hyena into the lamb's appearence be my guest. What I am trying to say is the same thing like last time. "You should be stable." You may fall into the same temptation even after marriage which of course I hope you're not blind you can see the results into our todays worlds. Successfull marriage are numbered.

And if you think that your boyfriend is not the one tell him to end it up. You don'thave to feel like you are living a forced life. You have to be free to yourself and your partner which of course will determine the value of life and success in marriage if that is what you desire. Otherwise it will be the other way around.

And here below are additional comments on the last question you asked "So he wanted to know if I had a boyfriend?" and thanks for the vote!
I wanted to add saying that I know! You're not crazy! But it is like you're under control of nature. If you want want to have good memories you have to control nature and time so that everything you leave in the past won't hurt you. That is: you have to see the time which is passing not the reverse: which is the time seeing you pass.

Without a mistake this guy's feelings might be mutual but since your current "boyfriend is great and you want to be with him" there is nothing you can do about it. But remember you don't have to live regrets. At this time you have to be very wise. And "that sound really bad". It does.

Answer 3

So it's not really wrong to let a person know you like them if you are in another relationship. But from experience I can tell you that if you are having strong feelings for both guys even though you are already dating one you should really steo back and look at things. If the other guy tells you he still wants to be with you even though you have a guy and might be willing to wait then maybe you should really be with him. But if the other guy is better then you have a hard decision. But i'm sure the other guy already knows you like him even though it is hard to say it out loud. Just dont get your emotions stuck in between b/c that's when it gets rough. Just look out for yourself and what's better for you with either guy..

Answer 4

I've had boys do this to me before. I suggest you don't tell him because it only confused the hell out of me. It always feels like they tell you because they'll break up with their bf/gf for you but they don't. You'll most likely end up with your crush trying to break you and your bf up