Helping my step sister turn to christ? And stop her horrible lifestyle?

Question

She's 14. She sleeps with anyboy she thinks is cute. She's in the "popular" crowd at school and that is amazing to her bccause she is a freshman. She mocks other kids that she doesn't like. She dressed like a **** to attract attention from other guys. She parties till all hours of the night and comes home super late but she puts on a "good girl" act for my parents. I'm torn wether or not to tell them. She is into paganism and stopped believing in God at 11. How can I help her out of sin and into a relationship with Christ?

Answer 1

Sorry

But you can't blame her actions on her sprituality. I'm disapointed that someone acting like that has been identified as Pagan - solely as it wrecks the reputations of all Pagans.

Her chosen faith is her choise and if she chances back that too will be her choice.

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Answer 2

1. Where are your parents? Obviously they're not doing a very good job.
2. Leave out the religion. That's only off-putting.
3. You say she's "into" paganism. That means it's like a game to her. She probably has no clue what it's all about and is just going along with everyone else. She'd do the same with you and your brand of Christ-following.
4. I agree with other posters about her low self-esteem and other emotional issues. If you want to be a good sister, sit down with her and ask her what's on her mind. Don't force things and eventually she will open up to you, especially if you keep point #2 in mind.
5. Try to get her involved with other activities like sports or a particular subject that she likes. Maybe enlist the help of a favorite teacher.

Answer 3

Firstly, I am both a Mother of a 15 year old daughter, (3 sons too, but girls are topic of discussion) and a practicing wiccan, so can tell you first hand this has nothing to do with being pagan or wiccan, or any religion for that matter. This is a parental / morals issue.

What your sister REALLY needs from you (and your parents) is a good example, role model and consistent boundaries. What is she watching on TV? What is she seeing around her as the norm? What are you wearing? Maybe mention to her or your mom when shopping for clothes that something may give the wrong impression if she wore that etc... Kids her age want to be part of the "in" crowd, you just need to find her the right crowd to be in with.

If you could get her in touch with a "real" coven, (not a bunch of gothic kids playing witchcraft) she could see that witches are really nothing like what we are portrayed on TV. Unfortunately most covens will not allow teens (under 18) to join alone, nor should they due to legal concerns.

Good luck with your sister and bright blessings to you both.

Answer 4

I am sorry for the behavior your sister has exhibited, and how it has affected you. I can assure you this behavior is quite extreme from someone of any age and certainly needs to be investigated further. I truly feel that her heart may be broken on some level. She may feel as if she has no hope and feel unworthy of the truth that we all are created from the divine. I feel that these conversations with her may meet some obstruction in the beginning, but if handled with love and understanding and a genuine desire to help, aid, support and guide, they will eventually be successful. Don't concentrate on her "bad behavior" but on her wonderful, beautiful assets that only she can offer the world.

I am concerned however, over what you said was her not believing in God anymore. I can assure you that true Paganism is loving and accepting. It is an understanding of true melding of the universe. Nothing is more empowering than knowing you are a part of something much bigger, and divine, not characteristic of her behavior. True Paganism is a love of earth and man and every living creature, not that far from true christianity. I feel that she as a young woman may be going through a tough time trying to find herself. I think you are a wonderful brother for wanting better for her. If you feel overwhelmed and she does things that may irretrivably change her life, you must tell your parents that may have more resources to help her. I wish you luck. Brightest Blessings to you and your sister.

Answer 5

Yes you should sit down and tell your parents about the terrible dressing and bad behavior. It might not do any good since they haven't already noticed it. Bad parenting on their part.

It does not have anything to do with being a pagan, IF she is practicing for real. She could only be saying that to sound rebellious.

Do not judge her, that is not your place. Help her. Be her friend, if she'll let you. Don't preach to her, you'll only push her away. She'll probably come around if you showed some acceptance of her beliefs. Don't lecture her, but try asking her why she doesn't respect her body. What will happen if she gets pregnant or catches a disease. Tell her that you care, and want to help.

You can help her out of sin, without forcing her into your religion.

Answer 6

I dont know why you have added her 'being into Paganism' in your list of things she does wrong...belief in another form of spirituality isnt wrong however having said that her behaviour does not ring true for a Pagan....as one of the beliefs is to 'harm none' and she certainly isnt doing that is she is mocking other kids or not looking after herself.......let alone the fact that she is not respecting her elders and ALL of those things are part of the beliefs of Pagans.

YOU cant help her 'out of sin' only she can choose to do that...what you can do is be a good sister and be there for her it sounds to me like she is suffering from insecurities, low self image and a lot of other 'typical' teenager problem...

If you want to help her listen to her, encourage her to talk about her problem support her no matter what her choices and show her that being a chrisitan doesnt mean judging her but rather showing her the love that Christ gave to Mary Magdelene....

Answer 7

I used to be christian...and what I have found is that christians take part of the bible and leave the rest because it isn't important or whatever the case may be.

In the bible...it says...Seek out YOUR OWN SOUL'S SALVATION. That statement right there means that what works for one might not work for others and you cannot push your beliefs on others. It is wrong. So what if she is pagan. She believes in the same god as you do. The bible in matthews states, ",and you shall know him by many names..." that list of names goes on and on. Just because one calls god by a different names doesn't mean that they do not believe in god.

Further more...you have to really look at this. She is a teenager and teens rebell against everything that they have been taught. In time she will grow up and learn how she is to act. I like the other answers too...her being pagan isn't the issue that you need to focus on. It is her behavior that you should be worried about. But as I said earlier...it will take time and she will have to grow up and mature before she stops this sleeping around stuff.

Answer 8

She's being a teenager.

Listen, 14 is when kids rebel, when they do stuff that their family doesn't want them to do in order to find themselves. Stopping this process, keeping her from rebelling is going to hurt her development as an adult. The best thing that you can do for her right now is let her do it, but make sure she does it safely. If she's having sex with people, tell her you disaprove, but make sure she's using protection. If she's researching about paganism, do some of your own research and find out what its about, so you know what she's up to (doing research doesn't mean look it up on the internet, it means finding your local pagan store, or book store, or pagan circle and asking questions. Be brave about it. The only website on the internet worth anything about paganism is Witchvox.com... everything else is bullshit.)
Tell your parents if she does anything REALLY destructive, like drugs or unsafe sex or cutting... but let her figure the rest on her own.
If christ wants her so bad, he'll find her. Its not your job to be her preacher, its your job to be her protector and brother. Let her live, and grow up. This destructive time in her life now will make her a better person later in life. I swear. Your job is to make sure that when she's crying, tired, beat up and sick, she has a warm bed to go home to, and loving arms to hug her.

Answer 9

sounds to me like she's acting pretty much like all the members of my highschool's FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes)...

THis is something her parents should deal with (if they know -you might have to tell them), and psychiatric care would be helpful - she sounds like she's acting out over something, and that's often emotional...

btw, paganism isn't just one lump thing...it's many different religions with a common theme. Also, in my experience, "outed" pagans aren't usually the "popular" group becuase it's a religious basis most people don't understand, and in high school, different is NOT good. You get popular by being good looking and the same, and occasionally "easy" helps. Still, makes life easier when you can blame her actions on her religion or something you don't understand instead of having to say "are my parents ignoring her? did someone molest or abuse her when she was younger (often, promiscuity is a sign of sexual abuse)? Is she trying to fit in becuase of something missing in her life? And why don't I know any of these answers about my own sister?", doesn't it?

Answer 10

She isn't pagan, she's rebelling. If she needs to go out of the house for any attention, I'd be asking what is it at home that she isn't getting? She sounds as though she's been attacked and is trying to hide her pain. If your image of her, represented here, is accurate, I'd say she's been sexually abused.

Tell your folks and push to get her to therapy.

Paganism isn't about what she's doing; it's about finding joy in nature. What your sister is doing has nothing to do with joy and little to do with nature.

One's spiritual calling comes from the heart and soul. The way we see life helps to steer us to the spirituality which makes our heart happy. Pagans see life in a polytheistic manner. Many gods to take care of many needs. I've known "Christian" kids who are going through the same issues as your sister. Religion has nothing to do with it.