My cat was just put down,and now I'm really depressed.?

Question

I have had my 16 year old cat,Kinka,for a long time.He was grey tiger cat,and my parents had him put down,because his eyes lost their watery glow,and he wouldn't eat or drink food.

I went to the vet with my older brother and father to have him put down.I saw him die,and I wish I hadn't.I mean,they shave part of his fur and put a needle in it.

Can anyone who knows what this is like please give me advice.

Thanks for the answers so far.Its making me feel a little better.My cat just looked horrible till he died,he had no life in him.

I had alot of good times with him,so that helps ease the pain.Even in this situation...

Answer 1

Smarti, I'm so sorry you lost your sweet friend, Kinka. You two have been together for a very long time.

I know exactly how you feel. I had to put 2 of my beloved cats to sleep just 4 months apart. They were 17 years old. I had gotten them when they were 8 weeks old. Their names were Bagels & Bianna.

Bagels had kidney disease, which is very common in elderly cats. She had it when she was 16 years old; but, with medication, she had an extra, pain-free, happy year. Then one day I saw she wasn't well at all. I made an appointment with the vet, but I knew her time had come. I couldn't say the words, but I knew she was dying. So did Bianna. She wouldn't come near Bagels; she would just sit on the other side of the room & stare at us.

The vet took blood & urine for tests. She didn't think it was time to put Bagels to sleep & felt the tests would show that. But I knew. I spent the rest of the week with Bagels on my lap. When the vet called w/the test results, she was very upset. She had Bagels put into their hospital for aggressive treatment for 2 days. I visited Bagels every night, and she slept on my lap for about 2 hours. The treatment didn't work & my vet said it was time to make the decision.

I could have kept her alive for up to 3 more months, but she would need to be on an I.V. and she'd be uncomfortable. As much as I wanted her to live, I knew it would be selfish of me to keep her alive that way. I asked what would happen without treatment. The vet said Bagels would die a slow, painful death; she wouldn't be able to pee, but she'd be so very thirsty. Then she wouldn't be able to eat & then walk. I couldn't let her suffer that way.

I went there the day she was put to sleep. I brought her favorite blanket, put it on my lap & her on top. I told her "all finished," which was what I said when I finished doing anything she didn't like, such as trimming her nails. She was so weak that she could only pick her head up once to meow. She buried her head into the blanket on my lap.

After 2 hours, I buzzed for the vet. Bagels already had an I.V. in, so she felt nothing. The vet told me she was about to start, so I kissed Bagels and said good-bye & held her. I felt her go to sleep, no differently than when she fell asleep at home. I had my head turned because I couldn't stop crying. When the vet told me she was gone, I sort of freaked & started sobbing. Even the vet was crying.

Your Kinka didn't suffer when the vet put him down. You were there with him, and so was your father & brother. So, Kinka was surrounded by people he knew, loved & trusted. It was no different for him than gently falling asleep, and as he went, so did all the pain & suffering he had been feeling. You saved him from a drawn-out, pain-filled death. It was your final gift to him; you took care of him until the very end.

What you are feeling now is not depression, but grief. You loved Kinka and he died; your feelings are entirely normal. We grieve at the loss of loved ones, whether they are humans or cats or dogs. It is exactly the same! Don't let anyone tell you differently. Don't listen if someone says it was "just" a cat, or you can go get another cat. He wasn't a lamp or a piece of furniture that can be replaced. He was a living being, with a personality & an intellect, who was capable of emotions, like loving you.

For 2 weeks after my Bagels was put down, I was a total wreck. I was home alone at that time, luckily. I would get up & start my day, but I would end up going back to bed, lying there curled up, sobbing for hours. After those 2 weeks, I stopped doing that, but I would start crying all of a sudden, at the oddest times. I knew all about the patterns of grief but had never gone through it myself until then.

I knew it would pass, and I was lucky to have my other cat Bianna to pet. She would search for Bagels at night, when she thought I didn't notice. She'd go to all of the spots that Bagels liked to sleep in, and she'd look for her. Then she'd look under the front door because she saw us take her out. She'd sit there, facing the door all night and lie on my lap all day. We were both grieving.

What I didn't know was that she was dying. Inside I think I did know, because I recognized a neurological problem; but I pushed it out of my mind until she had a seizure. Then I took her that day to the vet, who said Bianna had a brain tumor. At the end of 2 months, she no longer recognized me, which was painful. She was not suffering & I still loved her & cared for her. Then one day she went into hiding & would not eat or drink. I knew it was time. 24 hours is all a cat can go without food or drink before they need to be hospitalized. We decided not to put her through any suffering, & I was with her when she was put to sleep.

This time I was quieter, but very sad. I cried & importantly, I let myself cry. I did my usual stuff, but I had a heavy heart; that's how I described it. That's how it felt. After a few weeks, I noticed a day had gone by without me crying. Those days became more frequent & it got so I could talk about my kitties without crying. After about 2 months, I started telling my friends about some of the funny stuff my 2 girls did. Eventually the grief switched to loving memories of them. My heart felt lighter, & I knew they would be with me forever in my heart.

This is a sad time for you, but you have to go through it. It's a process. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you feel. You will not forget him! When the darkness of grief starts to end, it will open up the beautiful memories you have of him, stored away in your heart. He's in there with you. He always will be.

The pain won't last forever — I promise you that.
The memories of Kinka will last forever — I promise you that, too.

Answer 2

If she's doing this don't force the issue. Not all cats enjoy wearing these things around their necks. I feel its unnecessary unless you plan on taking your cat out for a walk. My cat hated collars and after I put one on her I left the house, returned hours later and found she had managed to get her bottom jaw through the collar and it was holding her mouth wide open, she was sitting on the ground with a large pile of drool for who knows how long. Do the kitty a favor and take it off. Let her neck be free!

Answer 3

You poor thing. I grew up on a farm and lost many cats to various things. Feel lucky that you got 16 years with your pet. It seems like he was very loved, so you did well in giving a helpless creature a good and loving home. You may think about sponsoring a cage at a shelter in Kinka's honor. This way another kitty will get to live safely until he or she is adopted.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry for your loss- losing a pet is always hard after all they are family.
Your parents were wise to have your cat euthanized (put to sleep) They didn't allow your cat to know what suffering is. Kinka had a great life, and you shared a bond between animal and owner that is priceless- and you will take her with you through the rest of your life in your memories.

Again I'm so sorry about the loss of your cat, and my thoughts are with you.

Teej.

Answer 5

I've been there Smarti. It is a very sad thing to lose your friend of 16 years. Kinka was suffering and needed to go. It was much easier for him to go that way, surrounded by family. I wanted to be there when my little girl had to go, she had an ulcerated tumor in her mouth, I fed her with a syringe for the last month of her life and asked her to tell me when it was time, I had her for a good 18 years. She cried in pain and I could see it in her eyes. I held her as she left this world and cried my heart out.eyes out, but I didn't want her to be with strangers when she was put down. I still miss her.You have to just know it was the right thing to do and know he is not suffering anymore. Our pets, we have them so little time compared to human life, remember the time you did have and hold on to the fact that one day you will see him again.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had to have my female cat put to sleep in 1992 because she had feline leukemia. I took her to the vet and held her in my arms until she died. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. It will get easier. Even after this long, I still think of all the good times I spent with her. Just remember all the good times you had with your precious kitty. Good luck.

Answer 7

i (with the help of a vet) put down my 15 year old female long hair cat because she had cancer. she was in pain and wouldn't eat. she was a wonderful friend for 15 years and the least i could do for her was to be there in the end.

Answer 8

I watched my 14 year old be put to sleep and it was the hardest thing I have ever done and I'll never forget it. Time will heal you. You're just going to be sad for a while. I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm sorry your cat died.

Answer 9

aww..hugs. i understand how you feel, but just remember that he isn't feeling bad anymore...he's in a good place now.. i never put my pets down, but i have lost my pets many times, and it's never easy to have the little furballs leave especially when you've had them with you for such a long time. they're family. anyway, perhaps later on you can get another cat..a kitten. not as a replacement, but to make you feel better. i don't know about you, but kittens always make me feel better. :)

Answer 10

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. You poor dear. Kitties are one of the best parts of our lives. Google "Rainbow Bridge" which is a poem about pets that are no longer with us.

It will take time to work through your grief. You must have loved Kinka very much. Sincerest condolences. >^..^<

Answer 11

Just know that your beloved pet knows that this was the last gift that you could give him. You being with him gave him peace. It was hard for you to bear but it will get easier with each passing day.