Cannot stop horrible thoughts?

Question

The thoughts are about a person, ironically a supposed social worker, who abrubtly and without stated reason fired me over 3 yrs ago from a job I had just gotten in a new place months after my fathers' death. I reasearched and found that there were at least 4 other such random firings commited by the same woman. Since then because the agency she works for dominates the field i have exp training in I have been un/under employed and fallen into debt despair, I am in a constant state of rage and can't stop thinking of this foul creature and how much i hate her and what she has done do my life. Any serious attempts to advise me would be greatly appreciated

Answer 1

I Probably should keed my mouth shut,but i have had things happen lately,and i feel probably like u do. WE HAVE LAWS,SO LETS KEEP IT CLEAN! Maybe do a little more research,find out her little closet secrets,trust me,then use them.TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!! take her job,does she have a boytoy on the side,married,there's great fire. Party to much,more fire.Slacker at work,just really pay attention,u will see it. we all have it.If she's perfect,say the **** with it.and forget it.

Answer 2

Hello,

I am sorry you have these feelings. Everyone gets fired from a job sooner or later and yes we may not like the person who fired us but the person who fired us had a job to do.

I have no doubt that she didn't like firing people which is usually the hardest thing any boss can do. It also makes a supervisor look bad if they cannot make successful employees.

Harboring rage against a former employer is unhealthy. I would suggest talking to someone such as a priest, therapist or just good buddy.

Not knowing the circumstances or you or your boss it is difficult to put a finger on this subject. Some bosses when they let a person go feel worse than the person who they had to terminate have you considered this?

It sounds like there might have been budget cuts if other people were let go at the same time you were. As such perhaps your former boss had the undesirable job of hatchet man. YUCK!!!!!

If you cannot find work in the town you live in perhaps it is time to move to another town. A different line of work could also be rewarding. I went to school for one subject but am not working in that field now and am still happy.

Bosses who fire people at random without reason are few and far between. Most who act this way also get terminated sooner or later. Your termination as well as others sounds like it was a matter of budget cuts or a mandatory reduction in work-force dictated from above.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

It seems as if you have formed a fixation point in your thinking involving the person who fired you.

As you continue to fixate on this pivotal point in your life and grant it additional importance you feel less empowered in your life. This event occured over three years ago and it is THE defining event in your life.

This level of intense emotion is difficult to counsel. Someone giving advice may be ignored or actually attacked if they suggest a path that allows for this event in your life to decrease in focus and overall importance.

I do encourage you to seek out a professional talk therapist. Given that, here is what I can suggest.

Take time with paper and pen and write your story as if it was that of a stranger. Leave out anything you could not observe--inner thoughts, for example. Let yourself look at your behavior from a different perspective. Is this behavior sensible, reactionary, or something else? Does this person you observe show symptoms of depression, are they having troubles with their family relations which are adding to stress? Respect your own story, look at it from a farther view, to see all the interactions.

Consider the advice you would give a friend of your own who spoke constantly of an event which happened three years ago. Are they still in grief and having trouble moving on? Many mourn for the future they are denied--and not wishing to be vulnerable, to have this sadness, express anger instead.

I think, after three years, you may wish to start planning a new future, something that you can have desire to pursue. You have stopped your life in several ways--you are unhappy with this state of being. You may change it.

Answer 4

Seek counseling ASAP. You'll have to let go of those angry feelings, or they'll destroy you. All the while, this woman is continuing unaffected with her life, no matter what you feel.

Depending on your temperament, you could possibly start thinking about exacting revenge, which would make your troubles far worse.

There's a Chinese proverb that says anyone seeking revenge should dig two graves. Your constant hatred is having the same affect on you.

Learn how to let go and get on with your life, or you'll stay stuck and get worse over time.

Answer 5

honey i hate to hear that because those bad feelings are only hurting you and not her. I would suggest trying to figure out a way (maybe write a letter) to her superiors about the questionable firings atleast. Most importantly you have got to try and move on for you because anything eating at you inside is keeping you from prospering. She'll get what's coming to her whether it's from you or someone else so just have satisfaction in that - good luck!!!

Answer 6

Forgive and forget and go on with your life. If you dont then your going to torment yourself. There are always mean people in this world, but that's how life is. What you should do is move out of that city and find a job in your area of work. Hey you might even get paid better!

Answer 7

well...you have a couple of choices..you can get an attorney, sue her,..get damages, and then you may or may not feel vindicated..or, you can forgive her in your heart, which is what God wants you to do..love your enemies..I talk from experience, when I tell you, that He knows best..and when you can find it in your heart, to forgive the worst person,..He will bless you that much more...He has me, every time..He is amazing, so amazing..and always, through His Son, Jesus...I alway ask in His name..and I have forgiven people for things far more magnificent, than your old boss..but the more you forgive, the more He blesses you...try it..you won't be let down...

Answer 8

Ok, the anger you are holding will destroy you eventually.
I suspect you have post traumatic stress syndrome from this event in your life since it also coordinates with your father's death.
You will be helped with counseling.
Good luck.

Answer 9

Blaming others for your feelings is futile and immature. Accept that you are a grown man and that YOU are in control of your own feelings. Someone can DO something to you, but you CHOOSE how to react and respond. You have the power, not her!