Being disabled and Dating-26 years old?

Question

I have cerebral palsy and use a wheelchair to get around. I can walk with help. I am a fully functional guy. I have never had a girlfriend in my life for several reasons. For the first time in many moons, I feel great about every area of life.

I have known this girl for over seven years and I don't understand how I feel about her. I really enjoy being around her. She is wonderful person. She is very pretty. I even feel at ease with her helping me at the gym. I let her help me work on standing up. I hold her hands. I find her attractive off and on, even though I think she is breath-taking. I think about her alot. My fear is people will look at her differently because of my handicap. I am willing to risk those thoughts for a chance with her.

Basically, I feel at peace in her presence. Do you think I like her in that special way or just as friend. I am shy so how do I ask her someplace?

Thanks for your help.

Answer 1

I personally feel, if anyone saw her any differently for dating someone with a handicap - then that's low. That shouldn't affect how you feel about her. And she shouldn't care. You're no different than anyone else, in that you could be a wonderful boyfriend and a great friend to her. That's what counts most you know.

The best thing to do - is just ask her out on a date. Just ask. In person. That's more sincere anyway.

Answer 2

This is a hard wuestion to answer because I don't have enough details to tell you how she might feel.
She helps you at the gym, which shows two things:
1) She cares about you
2) She isn't embarassed by you

There are those select few women out there that can look past every single flaw a person has on the outside, and fall in love with the person inside.
The best thing you can do for both of you is sit her down, and talk with her about this. Tell her you are a man just like every other man in the world, and you feel just like any man would about her. She is there for you, and has been for 7 years.
Confess to her that you feel very strongly about her, and you just needed to let her know it.
I can't say for sure where it will go from there. It sounds like you could have found a very special girl. I hope the best things for you my friend. Please take care, and let me know how things work out if you have the time.

Answer 3

I think u like her both ways. Disabled people often have more insecurities than able bodied folks because they see the way society looks at them. But even able bodied folks wonder how a person will react when asked out by them. Even if she declines, atleast u asked. Just ask her out. U never know where it would lead. Then maybe u'll realize that u only like her as a friend, or something more. Besides, it's only a date...if she's a nice person, she won't turn down one date. But u never know 'til u ask. i say go for it. Good luck.

Answer 4

First I don't think it should matter to neither of you want she will look like because of an imperfection that you have. If she cares for you then imperfections are just a casualty. To answer your question I think that you should just step out on a limb and speak what you feel and don't let what she say determine how you think about yourself. In the end the experience shouldn't make you or break you. Good Luck and I wish you the best.

Answer 5

i dont think having a disablity should matter..ure physical limits has nothing to do with how u are as a person. i do think that u may be falling in love with this gorl and if u found someone who maked u feel at ease with ure self like she does then i say go for it stud. the worst thing that ccan happen is that she says she only likes u as a friend whuich in retrospect isnt that bad at all...at least ull have her in ure life one way or another but from the way u say she helps u and is so close to u then she may just feel the same way about u. as for ure being shy...every one is at one time or another and beleive it or not most girls go for that. so i say tell her how u feel u just may be surprised and find out that she was only waiting on u to say something

Answer 6

You're describing a very intimate and emotional connection with this girl. She sounds like she loves you, and doesn't care about people looking at her differently (she's been hanging out with you for seven years). She may love you as just a friend, but it's OK to explore that and find out for sure. She sounds like a great person.

The trick to asking her out is to make it seem special and not one of the ordinary things you do... that way it's clear that you consider it a date. Call her, or ask in person (e-mail is tacky). You can say something like: "Mary, I really consider you a special person in my life. I would like to treat you special... would you have dinner with me on Friday? There's this fun restaurant that I would like to take you to. Please say you'll come."

Be sincere. If she's a good friend of yours, she won't lie. She may have other plans... if she does, offer a rain-check. If she doesn't feel comfortable taking it to that level, she'll tell you so... be understanding. Good luck!

Answer 7

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Answer 8

hey it sounds like you enjoy her company and that she is a very nice girl.
I say, take a chance, and ask her out.

Life is too short to worry what others will think. Do you think others live their life according to what we may find acceptable or not, i dont think so , and i live my life the way i want to.
So, my friend, go for it, good luck and
i hope she feels the same


love kendi

Answer 9

To hell what others think. If you have found the right girl for you, best of luck. We all deserve happiness in our lives, and just because you have a disability your no exception. Love is love so follow your heart.

Answer 10

I think you like her alot in that special way. You can casually ask her out to different placs then when you feel comfortable alone with her ask her on a real date.