I am 46 and my g/f 36 we have been together 8 years but not living together. I want to move the relationship forward by moving in together she does not,
she wants to wait another two years. While I respect her decision I feel that in 2 years time she will still not want to. We use to have an amazing sex life and that has now gone is that a sign she is drifting away please help
2007-08-18 12:58:32 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink!
You and your girlfriend obviously have different ideas about the relationship and I think you should answer this question yourself, after considering what I say next.
If you were going to embark on a journey would you ask a friend who was travelling in the opposite direction to accompany you?
Would you accompany a friend who was going to a place you weren't keen to go to just to have some company and in the hope you eventually got to your destination?
We all need life partners who are travelling in the same direction as we are. Sometimes taking a minor detour to a destination in order to be with someone special can be fun as long as your own needs are met and you go to where you need to go as well.
You need to decide first how far you want to travel down the road with someone going the opposite way. At some stage you'll become disgruntled if you don't meet your own needs.
You are the single most important person in your life. You look after number one - yourself. If you can't look after yourself you can't look after anyone else.
Make the right decision for your life. If this lady is going in the wrong direction you may have to scarifice what you want to be with her. On the other hand, are you really going to give up your life to please someone who may not thank you for doing so?
You have decisions to make..........hope this helps.
2007-08-18 13:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely respect that she doesn't want to move in with you.. Although I think it is, it's really not a big step in the grand scheme of things. Maybe she doesn't want that sort of step with out a proposal of the marriage kind?? If you are the one pushing the relationship, and she doesn't seem to be into the situation.. maybe she's not the one. :( Sorry to say, but to me it sounds as if one of you is not into making a commitment.
I mean c-mon .... 8 years..... and no real commitment??? "dating" move on! Don't do what so many others have done and stay with the person just because it's easier than trying to find a new love. OR get married just to figure out you weren't that good for each other anyway to then get divorced.
Do some serious sole searching and determine if this girl is the right one for you, and if you can answer yes, then determine if you are the right one for her... it has to work both ways. Love is Love... there is no excuses when it's "a right fit" work, kids, families, friends,pets.... should not get in the way because those are easy to work around if it was meant to be. She either loves you and wants to have your children (hypothetically) or she doesn't and is in it for the ease of saying she has a boyfriend. ???
2007-08-18 20:17:41 · answer #2 · answered by MeiMei 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd think, too, that the drying up of the "amazing sex life" was a sign that something's definitely drifting away.
Has she told you her reasons for not wanting to move in and cohabitate? If she has, do you see these reasons as not changing in the next two years, or do you think she's using these reasons for an excuse not to move the relationship in the direction you want to take it?
It sounds like the relationship hasn't moved in so long, it's atrophied.
2007-08-18 20:06:55 · answer #3 · answered by bitadkins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd ask her what she expects to happen in 2 years. Then I wonder why you've been together 8 years and just now want to move the relationship forward. If your amazing sex life is gone, what are you hoping to gain?
2007-08-18 20:02:51 · answer #4 · answered by Jess 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say anything about love.....? Or a marriage proposal....... so I'm wondering, what kind of relationship do y'all have anyway?? You used to have sex but you didn't live together.......hmmmmm. Y'all need to clarify a few things, don't you? What do you want and what does she want out of this relationship? Where is it goin??
2007-08-18 20:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by wildflower 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After dating all this time if she isn't ready for that, something is def. wrong. Talk with her, see why she has a hang up about it.
2007-08-18 20:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by Unique Soul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋