i haven't even moved into the dorms yet and there are already problems. there are 4 of us guys, 4 bedrooms, a kitchen, and a living room. it seems i'm the only one bringing a tv and i'm not going to lie, i'd rather have it in my room instead of the living room. of course they think i'm being selfish. i just already know we dont watch the same stuff and sometimes i just want to have it on when i'm in bed or have a game on in the background while studying and so on. am i really being that selfish?
2007-08-18 12:48:56 · 13 answers · asked by Nicholas S 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
i dont want to cause any tension
2007-08-18 13:03:13 · update #1
how should i tell them
2007-08-18 13:03:40 · update #2
It's *your* tv, and yes it is nice to have it in the bedroom for the reasons you named. So don't feel bad to put it there.
It could be a good idea to buy one between the four of you and put it in the living room; but do pitch in too, don't suggest 'they' buy one. If they're going to put it in the living room, you're going to be watching that one sometimes as well, right? The cheapest model shouldn't be that much at Walmart or you can go through the classifieds and get a second-hand for even less. If you wanna try and get a second-hand, get it as soon as possible for with everyone moving into the dorm there are probably a lot of guys (and girls :)) wanting to buy one... be the first to snap up a cheapy one!
2007-08-18 18:26:19 · answer #1 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, I don't think that you are being selfish, or not much anyway, but I can see how it could be construed that way.
Here is what I would do. Agree with them that you will put your TV in the living room for a set length of time, say two months. Start a little community fund where each of you, including yourself, puts $5/week into the fund, with the goal of buying a community TV. 4 guys x 8 weeks x $5 = $160, and you can get a nice TV at Wal-Mart for under that amount. And even a starving college kid can come up with $5/week; hell, just drink one 6-pack of beer less... ;-) (hey, I have been there).
Just make it perfectly clear that after that 2-month period is up, YOUR TV is going into YOUR room, where you actually wanted it all along, whether there is a community TV in place yet or not. At the end of 2-months move it, regardless. If there is not a common one then, it won't be because you are selfish, it will be because they are cheap.
You can expect one or more slackers, but just make sure that it is not you. If you wind up without a common TV, it will then be his/their fault, not yours.
As for who it "belongs to"? None of you and all of you. You guys can work that out among yourselves, remembering, of course, that you are talking just a mere $100 or so, and you guys are, or are supposed to be, adults now.
A 2-month sacrifice to maintain good will amongst your new roomies. It will probably be well worth it, and could possibly prevent hard-feelings between you, which you surely don't want if you have to live with them day-in and day-out. Thas it the way that I would personally handle it.
2007-08-18 13:28:40 · answer #2 · answered by cgsna 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Grow some balls and confront him. Express yourself clearly and calmly at first. Explain how the noise bothers u, keeps u from sleeping, waking up for work etc etc etc. Then ask him questions to get his response. "What would u do if you were in my shoes"? "How come when I ask you to turn it down, you keep it loud?" See if he is willing to work with you. If not.... When it gets loud make him come into your room and hear the noise in case he is doing it without realizing it. Bang on the wall with a broom. If none of this nice guy stuff works, go apeshit on him. Seriously. Don't get physical, but just cuss him out and make a statement to him that he needs to show you some god damn respect. You say he's "dense and clueless" well you're gonna have to get this message into his thick skull. The sooner the better. If you don't make the effort to get him to understand how much what he does bothers you, you shoulder a big part of the blame here. Oh yeah, and all this talk about blasting your TV to get payback, shutting the breaker, and buying him headphones is garbage in my opinion. LOL. Your problem is with the person. Deal with him. And if it comes to blows it comes to blows. You're better off beating that guys *** as a last resort and finding a new roommate, than suffering for months or years living with an asshole.
2016-05-17 04:17:27 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not selfish. It's yours. You paid for it, you brought it; it's yours. You are under no obligation to share it. Do your roommates also think you should have to share your car with them? Or your clothes? Or your toothbrush? It's the same principle. If you let them guilt you into putting your TV in the living room for everyone's use, that's going to cause resentment on your part. Not good.
However, if you tell them they should have brought their own, that's going to cause resentment on their part. Also not good. So, in the interest of peace, you might want to consider offering a compromise. Suggest that the four of you contribute money to buying a TV for the living room. That way, each of you will have contributed and there will be no reason for resentment. True, there's no reason you should have to contribute and if you don't feel inclined, then don't. But it would be a gesture of good will on your part and that could end up going a long way.
2007-08-18 13:09:30 · answer #4 · answered by Avie 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It depends on whose looking at the issue. It is your TV, yes, but that doesn't mean that they have to be boneheads and say your being sleffish because you don't want to share it with them to make you feel bad. Either everyone can pitch in for another TV that they all share or they can get their own, but they should not make you feel like you have to share if you know that they will have problems with it with you. Do a survey with them and see what shows they watch and the times, and show them why it would not be in their best interest. Because it doesn't help if you all get into an arguement over what shows to watch, and they take it over when it is your TV. But in the end it is your decision. Take care.
2007-08-18 13:16:46 · answer #5 · answered by Venissa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being selfish..don't let them make you feel guilty about it. It's your tv, and if they want to watch tv, then maybe they should just buy their own or pitch in to buy their own. What happens if they mess yours up because its in the living room? Im sure they won't feel responsible for it..because it's yours. Tell them how it is..I guess their S.O.L.
2007-08-22 06:31:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not selfish, just put it in your room. I'm quite sure between the three of them they can get a tv. They are the selfish ones for not thinking about that.
if you don't want to cause trouble tell them you can't sleep without the tv on.
2007-08-18 14:49:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, you are definitely not selfish. You brought the T V for you.
However,having lived on campus, you need to understand that you guys are going to be like brothers and need to be somewhat united and need to share.So.....put the TV in a common area and show your friendship and brotherhood. Being right(as you are right), is not the answer in this situation.
Good Luck/
2007-08-18 12:58:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely not. You have a right to have your TV where you want it. Everyone is responsible for bringing their own creature comforts and putting them where they feel comfortable. If you want yours in your room, then so be it. Let the rest get their own and put them where they want. If you all want to chip in on a TV for your commununal living space, that's a different story.
2007-08-18 13:42:12 · answer #9 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No you're not being selfish at all. It's really not your responsibility to supply them with free entertainment.
Stick to your guns. Keep it in your room. Let them get their own TV.
2007-08-18 12:54:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋