So me and my husband keep foster children..We currently keep 3 and was wondering why the 5 year old boy is not taking temper tantrums and showing bad behavior. At the last foster home, they gave him up because of his numerouse temper tantrums and bad behavior. He has lived with us since June and has not taken even one temper tantrum and is a perfectly well behaved little boy. Could he not have been shown enough love and affection at the other home? There were alltogether 9 of them living in the other foster home including the foster parents and the children were 5 years older and up. Maybe he feels he wasn't being given enough attention? I noticed he does talk ALOT and likes to be paid attention too. Whats you guys opinions? Was he not being paid attention too and it resulted in anger?
2007-08-18 12:15:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I believe that you have not had him long enough yet. Which means that the way you do things are so different that he has not been able to form boundaries that you have ruled as wrong. So go slow and pick your battles wisely. Having attention is gained by acting bad or good depending on what gets your attention. So if you have given him attention based on good behavior then the bad behavior is not necessary. I truly believe that love and a true caring spirit is all we need to be successful with children who are so wounded that they are looking for it where ever they can get it. Good luck to you. God bless.
2007-08-18 13:50:15 · answer #1 · answered by Miki M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have only had him a few months, it could be that he just doesn't know you well enough to have an emotional scene in front of you. I'd keep an eye out for the starts of one, and have a plan in place in case temper tantrums start to develop.
That's probably NOT the case though...I would guess that in a home of 9 kids he felt ignored and overwhelmed by all the people and didn't know any better way to express his feelings of frustration and loneliness.
2007-08-18 22:55:54 · answer #2 · answered by missbeans 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If his behavior has improved why does it matter if they were paying attention to him or not? Obviously you are giving him what he needs now and that is the most important thing, I don't think its your job to figure out what happened before but to provide a safe loving home now and report to his case worker that the behavior is not there with you... maybe it was just a bad match? If i were in that position I believe I would worry more about what I am doing to be the best foster parent possible and not worry about the gossipy "you know they didn't pay enough attention to this one" stuff...
Does the "ask a question" portion of yahoo answers not have spell check?
2007-08-18 19:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by Artist Elizabeth 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It sounds right to me. With that many other kids, it would be hard to give a kid the attention they need. And foster kids tend to need even more. They are shuffled from home to home and never feel they belong anywhere. I'm glad he's with you now so you can give him some extra TLC.
2007-08-18 19:52:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your loving home is undoubtedly making a real difference, and good for you.
It could also be the change in diet. My son had tantrums that were caused by a food allergy!
2007-08-18 23:48:41 · answer #5 · answered by Patsy A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds right, maybe some of the other children where picking on him, could be a million reasons down to they just did not connect at the last home, i do not think i would waste my energy on why be happy he is not and that he must connect with your family it also could be he is at the honeymoon stage right now at your home, so take one day at a time and give him lots and lots of TLC,
2007-08-18 19:57:38 · answer #6 · answered by melissa s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could very well be that you treat him with kindness and he loves you. In my town an old lady used to keep foster kids and it broke my heart the way she talked to them. Children know when you really care and please keep on doing what you're doing. God bless you and your husband.
2007-08-18 19:26:24 · answer #7 · answered by Pearl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some foster parents are mean to the kids so they must have done something in order for him to act like that ( they had to been mean to him or abusing him) give him all the love and attention he needs
2007-08-18 20:33:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it is a positive sign. I think you must be very loving. Get off the net and go give him a hug! Its wonderful that you have accomplished such a loving act with a neglected child.
2007-08-18 19:21:46 · answer #9 · answered by eye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would guess that he wasn't getting enough attention at his previous home or he was being abused by the older kids. I'm glad you were able to open your home to him and offer him the love he deserves.
2007-08-18 19:20:42 · answer #10 · answered by Wishmaster 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋