What goes through a guy's mind after a breakup?

Question

I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago, and i'm trying so hard to keep myself occupied so i don't have to think about him. I had to break up because my parents forced us to after being caught making out. I don't know if this was fair to me.. because i was so hurt after being forced to end the relationship.
I know it's not worth crying over, but everytime i think of us, it hurts so much because i thought we could've continued on if we didn't do something so stupid.

So after i broke up with him, i kept wondering how he felt about the whole thing. I gave in and talked to him about it online. He told me that he's alright with it and he's just trying not to think about it. It seems like he's not bothered by what happened.. yet i cried over it day after day.

We agreed to being friends, but do guys always seem so cold to you after you're not together anymore? Has anyone been in a similar situation before?

Answer 1

You'd be surprised how much he probably IS thinking about it. Alot of guys have a tendency to disconnect their emotions in a situation like this, which gives the impression that they "don't care" or "it dosen't bother them".

I know, when my ex broke up with me, for the longest time just seeing a car that looked like hers, or hearing her voice on the telephone (we tried to stay friends afterwards...), would bring horrible, nauseating butterflies into the pit of my stomach. It literally got to the point where thinking about her or the situation began to distract me from the rest of my life, which for everyone, has to continue on no matter how bad certain things are.

Believe me, he's probably hurting over it just as much as you are. He's just trying to keep it from overwhelming him.

Answer 2

quick question - how old were you?

if you say 13 or 15 - then your parents made the right choice. If he was older than you by 5 yrs, your parents made the right choice....

Anyways, if he's not bothered by it - hey, tough luck but chances are it meant nothing to him.

Oh, yeah - you may want to re-think the whole being friends with him - because guess what, if he gets another girl, guess who is going to be crying some more and who is going to be out there bangin' the other chick.

Right - sorry to sound so harsh. That's the reality of it, but anyways, I'm wondering how old were you when this happened? if you are past 18 and your parents forced you to do this then you are letting them have too much control over you which is not a good thing.

Answer 3

It depends on the circumstances, but generally resentment, and things like "THEY ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!".
Naturally things that should be prevented. He likely hated the whole thing, as your call the break up. Men tend to say they're all right, regardless of wether or not it's true, because they don't want to admit how they really feel. If you cried over it day after day, you're feeling guilty and should go back to him. Why did you break up with him? It was a stupid thing to do, girl! But it's good that you two are still friends. It's a rare result.

Answer 4

Research has shown that men take breakups harder than women. Girls have their best friends for emotional support and stuff.

While a guy has best friends, he is not emotional close to them like his sig other. So, a man loses his emotional support as well as a partner. Guys can do some pretty dumb things, but the best thing a guy should do after a break is find someone new.

Answer 5

No, we just demonstrate emotional pain a different way than what females are generally accustomed to. I'm sure he's as bothered by the situation as you are, but you'll only torture yourself unnecessarily waiting for him to shed a tear in front of you because that probably won't happen. Besides, you're still both pretty young yet. It may be possible that you've only parted to meet again. Who knows what the future holds, huh?

Answer 6

I don't want too hurt your feelings or anything, but he is either covering his emotions to make you feel better about it, or he is on the rebound looking for somebody else. I have done both in the past. As I don't know him it is impossible to say which he would do. Only his very closest friends could possibly tell you, and they might not know either. The coldness could occur because he is hiding his feelings, or because he knows he has no chance with you anymore, he's on the lookout for something else.

Answer 7

The emotional roller coaster that you are feeling are the very feelings that your parents were hoping you would be spared. Being sensually involved with a boyfriend; brings into play feelings that are so passionate and confusing, that your parents are praying that you will WAIT until you are more emotionally MATURE to cope with them. Save your gifts until you are in college. Tell them you will wait.
Your boyfriend is, (believe it or not) relieved!

Answer 8

Don't take it as though he's trying to be mean to you, but as a guy we try to deal with things like men. He may or may have not cried over it, but as a guy we won't tell you this. Guys just deal with emotions differently, we usually hold it in and deal with it, even though it may hurt really bad deep inside. Don't hate him for this, it's just how we're wired.

Answer 9

If he doesn't seemed bothered by the break-up, he may not have been as into the relationship as you were. Or he may just feel like there isn't anything he can do about it.

I don't think most men become as emotional as women do about anything.

Answer 10

the first thing on his mind is to find a new girl boys are not like girls if he loved u soooooooooooooooo much he will win u back but if he just loved u that wont be enough for a boy he will get over it easyly u have to get together again or forget it ...